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22 in pain need a life

Dec 01, 2015 6:13 PM

How the hell do I get and keep a job and build that in to a career with my pain and if that not an option what else can I do ? Start a family ? Great idea I can't lift a 2 litre bottle of pop that's 5lb the average baby is 7lb and grows really fast :( Running out of ideas ...

Dec 01, 2015 7:43 PM

If you're able (which I've been, and not been) then maybe if you like some sort of creation thing, whether coloring, doodling, banging on a piano, learning to code computers, robotics, math, whatever!

At least then you'll have something to do...I'm 15 so sorry, no job experience...

Dec 01, 2015 10:40 PM

Hi Jellyfish! I'm 21 and have the same problem right now. I haven't been able to keep a job, though I've tried, for three years because of this chronic pain all over my body. I get disability from the military since I'm disabled because of an accident that happened while I was in service. It's not enough to live on so I ace to live with my parents and save up to be able to move out.
I'm also looking or an at home job I can do so I can make more money. Creating something at home an selling it on etsy.com is something I'm considering because I know how to make fancy bracelets and necklaces.
I know you can get paid by doing things online like a secretary for a company but that's not really my thing.
Research things you can do online at home maybe and find your niche! Good luck jellyfish!

Dec 02, 2015 3:13 AM

I am sorry jellyfish. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life that you are trying to accomplish while being in chronic pain. And why not, you are at that age where we want those things. I think you can have a career and at the same time accept your limitations. Do you go to a place like a pain clinic that focuses on physical therapy. I don't know even know what your diagnosis is to know if that would help. But when it comes to your career, maybe you can get into some career that can be done from home where you choose the hours you can work. But if you can't, you have to figure out a way to accept that fact. I know it is hard. I have been there. I had a career. I was in sales. I was making really good money at the time. And then I had an accident and it changed my life. I kept trying to work. I did well for a while, surgery after surgery, til I wasn't getting the sales any more. The pain was showing through my face. My potential clients could see it. I soon come to realize that I was disabled. It took a long time for me to get there. I am not saying you are there. But what I am saying is when it comes to our limitations, it is a grief process. I grieved very hard losing my career. I cried a lot. I was a workaholic. It was number two in my life behind my family. I hope this helps a little. I had the feeling that you were grieving over your limitations. That you possibly are at rhe angry stage. I don't claim to know anything. But it is just what I thought. My best wishes to you.

Dec 02, 2015 3:45 AM

No idea. Let me know if you figure it out! ;) seriously though, I feel you. I'm 21, never really had a job (or a life for that matter.) I'm currently studying a certificate in education online and do vocational placement at a school once a week at the most. Sometimes I can only do a half day, or a few hours, and I hate myself for it. But it is out of my control and all I can do is my best. I have to keep reminding myself of this. It's hard. It's frustrating. It's something I'm going to have to live with. I wish I could just be a normal 20 something with a job. But I'm not. And neither are you, and that's ok. We just have to know and respect our limits... As other people have said, trying to do something from home is a good idea. Even just studying something that you're interested in. Not necessarily for a career prospect, just something to do. I'm sorry that I can't be of more help. And also sorry for the length of this message!

Dec 02, 2015 8:08 AM

Jellyfish, I am sorry that you are struggling. Jessica, I am sorry that you are as well. I can sure understand that you want to be a "normal" 20 something with a job and a life. Well, first, let me tell you that you DO have a life. It's just not the life you expected to have at this point. This is what your "normal" is going to be and I promise that with knowing your limitations and your strengths, you can get joy and fun and happiness out of life. Profiler is right, there IS a grieving process. It's the "loss" of the life you had or were striving for and it's no longer tangible because of your situations. You have to go through the process of mourning that loss and gaining acceptance in order to find some peace with it and be able to move forward. Now, I'm not saying it's easy and I'm not saying there won't be days where you feel like you do right now, because there will be. The good thing is you have an entire pain family behind you to help you through. There are no judgements here. We all understand the stress and strain that chronic daily pain had on your life. Not just yours, but all of those around you. We understand where others around you may not. They don't live it, we do. You can come here and vent, rant, cry, laugh, whatever. We're here to hold your hand when you're low and Celebrate with you when things are good. Concentrate on things that make you happy like a hobby that doesn't need physical exertion. Like Ferretbandit said, coloring, crafts, making jewelry, etc. there are ways to have a happy and fulfilling life. It's not easy and it takes figuring out and support but you came to the right place to help you with both. Sending you positive vibes, gentle {{{Hugs}}} and prayers that you find your way and have better days ahead.🌻🙏🏻

Dec 02, 2015 2:13 PM

Jellyfish, It breaks my heart when the younger generations come here and tell their stories. I'm 54 now, raised 2 children and helped with a grandchild for a couple of years. I went to college for a degree in health information technology, while my kids were in middle & high school. I started working in'03 and stopped in'10 to have surgery for a pelvic mass. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd never return to work. I had complications from the mass that led to more surgery and more problems. It seemed every time I turned around I was diagnosed with another chronic condition. And that health train is still rolling.

Finally, last year I realized I'd never return to work and accepted that I am disabled. It took four years to accept and grieve what I wanted my life to still be. I was frustrated at doctors, at myself, and anyone who didn't seem to understand or care what I was going through... and it seemed like thar was everyone I knew.

Then I joined this community, and found out I wasn't alone, that I wasn't crazy, that others knew what I was going through. That helped me to work through accepting the new me, the new normal way of life for me. And conversing with others here opened my eyes and mind to new information and possible treatments I'd not tried. I have learned what I can and can't do, my limitations, how long I can do something, new ways to do things (sitting on a stool to cook). And I've learned how to identify the signals my body sends out, and I listen to them, and I rest.

I have good days and bad days, as we all do. But the wonderful support from this community family is the best support. Others have already given you ideas to try, and I really can't add much to that. I can say that my faith in God, reading my Bible, & listening to contemporary Christian or old fashioned Gospel music lifts me out of depression. Also, having a good team of supporting doctors is very helpful. Because I have chronic issues with every organ system of my body, I have a specialist for them too...Lol. But I've found my rheumy doc, endocrinologist, psychiatrist & psychologist, and pain docs to be of the most use and support. If I doubted a doctor I sought a second opinion. With chronic pain & health conditions comes depression and anxiety. I tried dealing with it all on my own until last month when I started using a psychologist, to help me work through it all. Make sure you have good reliable doctors. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers! And you can always be sure to find someone online for help... And (((hugs))). 🙏🌼

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