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2 weeks out and really getting nervous

Oct 11, 2015 2:09 PM

Okay, so surgery is 2 weeks out from next Tuesday. I've been nervous about them before but never like this. I'm guessing it might just be fear of the unknown right now, since we don't know how extensive it will be until he gets in. Trying to cope as best I can, but all this crap going on does not lead for a very happy me. Just kind of trying to hang on to my sanity right now as much as possible and try to keep my feelings in check. Not easy to do when you have an IV cathater in your wrist reminding you that you are going through challenges. Right now, I just want to sit here, cry and feel sorry for myself, but I know that won't do me any good.

Oct 11, 2015 2:21 PM

Hugs & prayers & more hugs! I'm so sorry you're stressed. Deep breathing, soft music, comedy movie, phone call to a friend or family for chit chat, or a good book that you can't put down... Anything to help divert your mind from worries about the surgery. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Oct 11, 2015 2:23 PM

Aw hun, have a good cry, let it out. πŸ’“πŸ’“ try to stay calm and think positive. I know that's easy to say than to do. Big hugs and love to you xx

Oct 11, 2015 2:33 PM

Amanda I'm sorry that you are feeling so stressed today. Have a good cry and do some breathing exercises, like Flappsy said watch some comedy read a good book, listen to some soothing music. Just try and relax I know that is easier said than done. Sending love, prayers and lots of hugs your way

Oct 11, 2015 3:03 PM

Amanda, so sorry to hear that your having a really hard stress day. I agree with Flappys and Kathy, Cry and let it out it never hurts to do so and if your a praying person do what I do pray when your feeling stressed and give it to God. I know this sounds silly but have you seen the movie facing the giants? Its a good movie and it may not seem like it has any meaning to you at all but watch the whole movie it might cheer you up and lift your spirits. I hope this helps and know I am praying for you! Lots of love and hugs and prayers my friend! πŸ˜˜πŸ™πŸ’•πŸŒˆπŸ’

Oct 11, 2015 3:08 PM

Guys, not to sound rude or crude, There is a reason behind my needing to get this surgery. I can no longer tolerate having an awake pelvic exam. It just hurts too damn bad. I literally have to drug myself before hand, and my gyn knows it's a problem cause he won't even attempt to do one awake now. That's my biggest issue at this point.

Oct 11, 2015 4:58 PM

Awwwwww.. Amanda. My heart is breaking for you. I know that feeling of overwhelming anxiety on top of everything else that you deal with. I wish that I was not as far from you as I am. I've been to the beautiful state of Deleware (that's where you are, right? Fibro Fog.. I sometimes can't keep up and remember where everyone is). I would definitely come and try to sooth your fears and give you {{{{Hugs}}}} and a shoulder to lean on. Just know that you have that right now. If you need to speak to me every day, several times a day, I'll be right here, holding your hand through this entire process. I hope that you are able to find some distraction to help ease that anxiety. Just know, you're not going to go through this alone. Hang in there, we're here. πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Oct 11, 2015 5:08 PM

Part of the problem for all of us I think is we have already been through this too many times. We know what we are in for. We are all here for you. Just let us know what you need. Take care. Just focus on "it will be over soon".

Oct 11, 2015 5:47 PM

LMB, I don't even know what I need right now. That's the hard part. I think just a shoulder to lean on at this point.

Oct 11, 2015 5:52 PM

Amanda, you definitely have that!! Like I said in my post is that I'll be happy to chat with you for as long as you need and whatever time day or night. If there was a way for me to give you my phone number without giving it to the entire world, I'd send it to you so that you could actually call me when you need me and I could keep you Company for as long as you want. Well, when they get the companion app on iOS running, I'll definitely send it to you.πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Oct 11, 2015 5:58 PM

At this point, I just need to take my Benadryl and go to bed. Tomorrow is an early infusion day and chiropractor right on top of that. Tuesday, another infusion and surgeons appointment(eek!) and hopefully that will be it already. This constant back and forth is driving me nuts already!

Oct 11, 2015 5:59 PM

Amanda sorry, I don't remember why you have the IV line in already--that would make me nervous too. I'm thinking of you. Hopefully this will finally lead to some reliefπŸ’•

Oct 11, 2015 6:04 PM

Marse, I have chronic CA-MRSA. CA is community-acquired. Hopefully infusions only til Wednesday or Thursday depending on what's going on and what PA recommends as well. The IV saline lock is not that big of a deal to me. It's only annoying when I hook it on something accidentally. Going to discuss with my mom why I want a med port. It would so make life easier right now, but that's not up to me.

Oct 11, 2015 6:07 PM

And I think you're allowed a good cry and even a bout of self pity. You certainly don't wallow in it for someone who has endured so much. Hope you sleep well.

Oct 11, 2015 6:12 PM

Ugh--how did you get chronic MRSA!! Seems like a port would definitely make life easier for you. by community do you mean iatrogenic--like you got it in the hospital? I wish I could say something more comforting, do you have pets? I was much better when I had pets.

Oct 11, 2015 6:13 PM

Marsemouse, I haven't endured any more than any of you who are here and suffering in such pain. I always feel that there is always someone worse off than me. I have to say, if you look back, there are a few posts where I was having a really hard time and was throwing myself a pity party. I'm sure not immune to the bad day and crying. Matter of fact, have been quite weepy today but then again, I'm "hormonal" on top of everything else. I should have been done with this by now!! I wish it would just finish already. My other woman family members were done by 50. Tired of the hot flashes and night sweats!! It's a pain in the ass to keep going downstairs to stick my head in the freezer and say bad words.. LOL!!

Oct 11, 2015 6:14 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you...to cry is not a sign of weakness but strength. This is the reason that I love this group to give each other support. And really understand the pain and every day obstacles that challenge us. Bless you

Oct 11, 2015 7:21 PM

Sorry you are stressed, try to look at it as less pain. If you need to cry, cry it releases chemicals that contribute to stress. I can't tell you not to worry because when people tell me that I kinda want to pinch them, hard. I myself have pugs. They are sweet and comical. And you are never alone. They even peep into the shower to make sure I am really in there. Will be praying for you.

Oct 11, 2015 7:29 PM

Alwayz, I can sure sympathize with the hot flashes. Those things are sure as hell not fun especially in the middle of Walmart.

Oct 11, 2015 7:41 PM

I work as a merchandiser. When I begin something I break into a sweat. Not a little one, my hair drips, and my shirt is soaked. Finished that change of life business years ago.

Oct 11, 2015 8:08 PM

Alvin, we think mine might be related to the possible endo. Only way to know is for them to go in and get it sorted. Oh well, no backing out now.

Oct 11, 2015 9:55 PM

Amanda, I totally understand the female exam stress. That's been part of my problem since before they removed the 10cm mass in 2010. That thing grew so large and distorted all my internal organs; female, bladder and ureters, rectum and intestines, etc. That's why I'm having urinary and fecal incontinence, and why we can't have sex. Pelvic exams of any kind are excessively painful to me. My heart breaks for you because I so relate. Sending you hugs, prayers, and calm peaceful sleep to get you through the night! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Oct 11, 2015 11:13 PM

I agree and join in with all the others. Ibcsn te u from bring three days post op myself. I know the fewr u have. With our condition we have plenty to deal with already. But then added stress of more pain is just a lot to deal with . I can say just feel your feelings. It's OK... Try to get your team nesr u even if its a team of one. Let them know your heart and just do what u need to do to make yourself stable. I know its gonna be alright once u clear this hurdle. ..plus thus community is awesome. They have great hearts and even better ears. Use us..thsgs what we r here for.

Oct 12, 2015 11:36 AM

Flappys, I did ask him if it would be possible if he could just do all that stuff under anesthesia, but didn't get a clear answer on it, so it might happen already. Feeling quite awful today. Tomorrow doesn't look much better at this point. Darn surgeon again in the morning. Hoping not to have to do any more IV antibiotics, but I'm thinking they will probably extend it out more.

Oct 12, 2015 6:36 PM

And I think I've got a record for my own self in terms of surgeries for 1 year. Tomorrow will be 8, the 27th 9. How crazy is that?

Oct 12, 2015 7:31 PM

Poor you. Let's hope and pray that next year will be much better! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Oct 12, 2015 8:57 PM

Amanda I'm thinking of you. I'm not sure what's happening tomorrow and what is two weeks away but I just want you to know that. I think you're incredibly strong and courageous. I know that sounds cheesy but I really do. Hang in and please keep posting. {{{{Amanda}}}}

Oct 13, 2015 3:58 AM

Marse, another abscess lanced tomorrow morning, and diagnostic laparoscopy on the 27th.

Oct 13, 2015 9:19 AM

Never mind, not lanced. Possibly going to be on the IV stuff a bit longer then planned already. MRSA bites!!!

Oct 13, 2015 9:34 AM

Absolutely bitesπŸ˜•. Hope it goes as smoothly as possible and you're back home feeling safe and comforted. Sending healing and support to you this morning Amanda.πŸ’

Oct 13, 2015 9:57 AM

Meds going now. Stings more then a little bit right now. Ready to go home now and get in my bed.

Oct 13, 2015 2:27 PM

I hope you're resting easy this afternoon. 🐻Hugs! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Oct 13, 2015 4:39 PM

Resting, but not easy. Ummm, pelvic pain hit me again like a ton of bricks, but I think it's mostly due to stress at this point. Still waiting to see whether I get hit with another couple of days of IV antibiotics. Don't even want to move at this point.

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