I don't want to be a burden on society. where do I go from here? even with my cane and meds, I seem to have been struck too early with this disease. will it get worse and worse until I die? how do I resign myself to that fate? I don't want to go on disability, since my mom pays for my medical care. meanwhile I am 27 and marrying my love....everything is almost perfect in my life except for the oa.
but this one little thing, the oa ( I got it by having eds, a genetic syndrome). makes my life hell. not a day goes by that I don't think of ending it all, though I'd never do that to my fiancé.
that's enough to survive, but is it enough to really live? my body is a cage.....that song sounds like my life. I hurt in the knees mostly, so I can't walk or stand without pain.
I feel like I am trapped and being tortured every day by my body. I dream of being tortured and wake to it again.