OMG Sezzy, I had that exact toy when I was a kid.. LOL!!! And I love the one about being "dirty"!! I have to sensor myself sometimes because I have potty mouth and sometimes my mouth will be going fast forward whilst my mind is in reverse.. LOL!! It's ok, we could all stand to be a little naughty from time to time. (That's how o ended up in the naughty book so many times).🤗💕
When I moved to Arkansas I was at my parents house. They had gone out with friends so my first night there I was home alone. I was fixing supper and glanced out the bay window in the breakfast nook. What I saw terrified me. There was a guy in the back yard wearing a ragged t-shirt. Frayed and holey. He had on gym shorts just as ragged. And he had a pistol in his hands. Yikes! I quietly went and locked myself in my bedroom and called 911. I then called Dad - and bring the military man he is he asked me if I had asked the guy what he wanted. Umm.. He had a gun so the answer to that question was a big negative. Lol. Within minutes my yard was filled with police officers who had guns out and were searching the yard and the lot behind us. They finally figured it out.
My parents neighbor had been chasing down a stray cat that was bothering our neighborhood cat. It was an air gun. 🔫
The neighbors wife - Diane - made Mike change clothes then they came over to apologize and to welcome me to the neighborhood.
We have several police officers who live in my area - and Mike was a former police officer. Lol. So the neighborhood still to this day gives Mike a hard time. (especially me!)
Sjogrenspain77, these were so funny!!! Yes, you and Lulabel have been the only two people so far that have successfully made me wet my knickers!! LMAO! These are all too funny. Isn't it true, laughter is the best Medicine. By the way, they'd have to reserve an entire cell block for us all.. I'd bail you out but I'd probably be there already.
Those are too funny!!! OMG, I have to walk all the way to the neighbors house to go to the loo.. we only have one and they've ripped it out to put in a new one. I don't know how much longer I can stand having to leave in the cold to go shower and come back home.. LOL!!
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, “What’s wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird. “I had tolio as a child,” he answered. “You mean polio?” she asked. “No, tolio . The disease only affected my toes.” When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked “What’s wrong with your knees? They’re all lumpy and deformed!” “As a child, I also had kneasles,” he explained. “You mean measles?” she asked. “No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees.” The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer. As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear. “Don’t tell me,” she said. “Let me guess…Smallcox"
A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, “Hello. My name is Carmen.” “That’s a beautiful name,” he replied. “Is it a family name?” “No,” she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most – cars and men. Therefore I chose “Carmen”. “What’s your name?” she asked. He answered “B.J. Titsengolf.”
LMAO.. all of these are too funny!!! I love Dory one. I have lost 55 pounds since Christmas and still trying.. not crazed over it. I watch all week and then Saturday is the day I have things I normally wouldn't have (if I even eat at all). I usually only eat every couple of days anyway but that's not good for weight loss when you have no thyroid because your body goes into starvation mode and then everything you put in your mouth stays with you. It's not easy but slow and steady so I don't get discouraged. Besides, I'm lucky I have my bff walking by my side and offering me strength and encouragement every day.