I am only 26 years old and my pain clinic doctor refuses to let me forget that. I work every day towards getting better but every step forward seems like so much work to only gain an inch of progress.
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a year and a half ago and when I complain that what I am doing(physical therapy, psycology, pool therapy, more pills than I am happy with, doctors 1-3 times a week and daily exercise assigned by the physical therapist) doesn't feel like enough, my pain clinic doctor jumps to " you're only 26, at your age I simply will not label you permanently disabled."
Why does that have to be the default. I just hurt and I want to feel better. If I can find a desk job that doesn't require a lot of typing, writing or sales (my anxiety causes me to cry very easily when dealing with customers) I would love to do so.
I can not go back to school because I am in the process of student loan forgiveness and going back to school would nullify it and make me owe 30k for a degree I didnt even get to finish before fibro kicked in and my doctors say cant even use the degree because it would be to much exertion (baking in a bakery).
But by the end of this month I have to have a job so that I can pay for my rent, credit card bills, cell phone, and food. I can exist on 200$ a month which means I wouldn't need to work a lot but I am terrified that when I go back to work I am going to go back to my "yes Sir/Ma'am" mentality and do everything asked of me even if I can't physically handle it. I have such a strong need to do a good job at my place of employment that "I cant do that" or "that is to much for me" don't leak into my vocabulary.... I guess I am just scared and mad that I can't prove physically that I hurt and I want to be better no matter how hard I am trying to just get out from under the stress of everything in my life.