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Advice needed please

Mar 06, 2017 3:48 AM

So frustrated! Have you ever done EVERYTHING you can for a person and they sit there on the phone talking trash about you? That's what's happening to me! I have had enough of it! My step daughter keeps talking trash about me to her other Family and she is also talking trash about her own FATHER! He does everything for her and this is the respect we get she threatening to call DHS because we left a 39yr old ( her) my 14 year old as and my 16 year old home from 2-7 while we went to fill out taxes! (Our tax man is 2 hour's away.) I just don't know what to do, I am so upset and not to mention a full on flair! Any advice would be helpful!

Mar 06, 2017 3:52 AM

I would say to have her father talk to her. I don't have much experience with steps but having the related parent talk is the best.

Mar 06, 2017 3:54 AM

He has tried to talk to her but it goes in one ear and out the other ear. He said oh it's this health problem that's causing it! I'm sorry but no health problems will make you act like a big baby when things don't do the way that would like! I guess I'm stuck!

Mar 06, 2017 3:58 AM

It's a teenage girl thing I have 4 girls one a baby 2 in their teens and one 21
The more you do for a teenage girl the least your thought of
It's just their own inceurities I think and I promise you she'll get better with age
My 21 year old was the same nightmare my now 17 year old is and she's a grown up lovely appreciative young woman
Concentration on the good take a deep breath and trust it will change for the better
X

Mar 06, 2017 4:01 AM

It's not coming from my teenager, it's coming from the 39 year old!

Mar 06, 2017 4:03 AM

Oh đŸ™ˆsorry I see
Well no advice from me iv no idea and I hope to god mine are t still playing uo at that age
She must have jealousy issues x
Good luck

Mar 06, 2017 6:23 AM

Thanks claw123, it's a delicate situation and I'm so tired of doing stuff for her and getting trash talked to her family who doesn't even know me! The only thing they know about me is what lies she says to tell and there not even willing to meet me! But I just have got to have a different positive attitude.

Mar 06, 2017 6:39 AM

Would your husband go along with and back you up if you kicked her out? Or is that too far

Mar 06, 2017 7:55 AM

Can't kick her out she has special needs. But this goes beyond her special needs, this is just flat out being mean and nasty.

Mar 06, 2017 9:31 AM

This is a hard one sjogrenspain77, especially as she's 39. If she trash talks you both soo much to her mum's? side of the family and she hates being with you why doesn't she go and live with that side of her family?
I know it's a hard because of her special needs to know what's the right thing to do. Does she do the same to your daughters as well?
I'm sorry but I don't know who the DHS are? As leaving them all at home surely as they're all able to look after themselves for quite a while without adult supervision what exactly can the DHS do?
Your teenagers are certainly old enough to be left on their own for that length of time no problem and by the sounds of it your stepdaughter is able cope with that length of time as well.....just a thought but it sounds like her mental age is that of a teenager with the how she's acting, the spitefulness and the selfishness.
What is her special needs if you don't mind me asking?

Mar 06, 2017 9:32 AM

Oh hun... I am so sorry. Do you have any free time this week? Maybe we can meet half way for lunch... Or I can drive up closer to you? I think we both could use a girls afternoon out. Wish I had some advice for you. Does she have a healthcare worker that comes in to work with her? If so you might consider talking with them in private to let them know what she is doing so they can chart it and chart the truth just in case she ever does call cps. It might not hurt for you to keep a journal of what the accusations are and what the truth is.

If she doesn't have a health worker you might want to talk to her doctor so they are aware of the situation. They might have some suggestions for you and your husband to try.

I know it must hurt. Take a moment and just breathe. If her family doesn't want to meet you - perhaps that's a blessing in disguise? If they listen to her complaints and believed them then why haven't they shown up in force to take her home to live with them?

I used to.be a home health nurse. When I could no longer do that I worked as at home care with those who are developmentally challenged. I did that before nursing as well. So I have had experience in that field.. Over 10 years. Many of your programs such as Friendship Community Care - where I worked for a bit.

http://www.fccare.org/

Also
have programs where they teach the clients the skills needed to live on their own. They even have different apartments where the clients can live.. And an overseer who lives there to help if needed. And a bus to take these clients to work. If they can't work outside the organization then they can work within. For instance some companies contract with Friendship and they are set up where the clients can work at their buildings. I think in Bryant they work with a refridgerator company putting wires or something in the tubes that the company installs on the fridges. Sorry - can't remember what it was they did. Lol. I worked with the clients in their homes.

Sorry for the long post. Message me if you want to talk or get together. Hang in there sweetie. ((((hugs))))

Mar 06, 2017 9:38 AM

Yea.. I know I am long winded today. Lol. Sorry. I found this article from the KATV news group. Not sure if you get that channel up there but it has some good guidelines for leaving children alone. There are only three states that have legal ages defining when a child can be alone. We aren't one of them. Here is the link to the article.

http://katv.com/archive/home-alone-what-age-is-safe-for-children

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