Hi. I'm Trinity, a teen with chronic illness. I understand feeling like you don't have anything to live for, as if no one cares, just watching as life goes on around you.
It's hard, yes. But as my favorite (Buffy!) quote says "Strong isn't easy. It's hard, it's painful, and it's every day!"
I'm just curious, do you really never get moments where kindness or simply the closeness of another human being make you...okay. Not happy, just like maybe there is a reason to hope, to try again tomorrow despite never having a moment of time off from your body.
I've had these fragile moments. Laughing and talking with strangers, and feeling connected. Being with my cousins as they hunt easter eggs. Singing, and crying, and being open. I actually met a few new people.
I have more pain than good moments, but somehow just knowing I MIGHT laugh tomorrow makes me want to get up, and try, and probably fall, but at least laugh at the fall-out.
How are you feeling?