As we all know, being sick is hard. Being sick and working full time is hard. Being sick and working rotating shift work is hard.
I was switched to evening shift with midnight standby this week for shift coverage because no one wanted the overtime. I haven't slept for more than a couple hours a night for probably close to two weeks. I have been cleaning like crazy trying to get the house on the market because holding two mortgages is more than we can handle. So I have pushed past what I am able to handle and kind of crashed today. I should have called in sick, especially since 30 minutes before I was supposed to be at work I was still in my pj's wishing I had Star Wars: The Clone Wars cartoon series so I could watch it again. I rushed and managed to get showered and to work on time.
About ten minutes after I get to work I get a phone call stating that Don has decided that he is going to be staying for that radar shutdown so I'll have to stay to validate the radar data coming in so that air traffic control (atc) can use it. This was the first I'd heard about a shutdown happening tonight. I'm tired and cranky and not happy about this getting dumped on my lap with no notice and no asking if I was able to do it. Because the coordinator for atc decided he is going to stay I have no choice, I'm the only tech on tonight. And because i was put on standby it is assumed I'm willing and able to stay until day shift arrives at 7am on any given night.
I'm not ok. I told my manager that I wasn't ok with this. He asked if it was because of short notice or if I couldn't do it. I stated that it was both short notice and because I'm not well at all. He didn't respond to me, he just shrugged and went home for the night. Which only pissed me off more.
I feel that I'm less than because I'm sick. To me staying late is a big deal, staying late without notice is a really bad thing and getting called out in the middle of the night screws me up for over a month. To my coworkers staying late is no biggy, no notice staying late is mildly annoying and getting called out means more money. The union contract says everyone gets equal overtime, standby, evenings and weekends which means my job is in trouble if i start refusing to stay late, pick up shifts on my days off, or be on standby. It took all I had not to throw the phone at my manager and walk out today. The only reason I didn't was because I like having a home to live in and food to eat.
I feel that today the manager felt that I was using illness that he can't see (so he probably thinks im making it up like his boss does) to get out of doing my fair share of the work.
I almost cried when he just walked away, and I only cry watching sad movies.
Sorry for the story book. Just feeling very low and useless right now. The boyfriends response was "thats the job you chose", which doesnt help since im sure this job is what made me so sick so fast. I wasnt sick before working here.