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And so it begins...

Feb 03, 2016 3:49 PM

Well I had my appointment with the new GYN here in the city I'm.living. and after a two and half hour wait and a in depth chart.. Basically the doctor here says its to risky to have the surgery here. My hole reason for going to a new doctor was to please my mom. To try and make the experience easy for here.
Now, those who are use to me are probably done with hearing bout my mom. I know its a bit much.
So now we're are here in.still having issues and and more on top of it. And mom is still talking bout making things easy for her.. So I finally broke and told her it's not about her. I'm the one having surgery its my.body and my life. And she is focused on dragging my dad along. My dad is extremely immobile. And has to sit in a certain position otherwise he is in agony. And I don't need to be considered about dad being in pain while I'm having surgery and mom wants to be in control of everything does not want help. She does not see how inconvenience to other people .
So now we r here..waiting on the next move. I've got to back to the city I had thr ast surgery at. My case is to serious.

Feb 03, 2016 4:12 PM

That's good that you told her how you felt! She shouldn't keep hurting you that way and making you feel like what's going on with you is not important. I'm glad you are keeping your priorities straight and are standing your ground. Don't feel bad about venting when it's something that's really bothering you! It's healthier to get out the feelings than to keep them bottled up! I hope you can get your surgery soon!

Feb 03, 2016 4:18 PM

Thanks Megan.. I feel the same way..I never knew how low you could get when ur in pain. And I never knew how mental pain can be almost worse then physical. The fatigue can make u feel like u want to die.. I've got a friend who has been with me for years. And I talk to her several times a day. It really crazy how much we talk.. Ha.. And I ha e told her about my dark thoughts. But like u said. I feel if I hold them in thsgs more dangerous than just saying it. Shedding light on it..and thank you for saying I have the right priorities. I honestly doubt myself a lot. Thinking it's selfish to want thinks to go my way once in a while. Lol.. I know..but I did not know how hard it would be to move back in with my parents. I was so sick when I decided I was yes to everything then. Ha.. But I hope I can get things squared away soon.

Feb 03, 2016 9:51 PM

Newfibrogirl, I agree with Megan, that you need to stand up for yourself, for your needs. It isn't about your mom, although she may feel like it is. Maybe your sister could go with you to the city so your mom could start home with your dad. You don't need extra stress. BTW, You'll notice I read your other post first, Lol. If the hospital in the city is familiar with you already, going there may be a blessing in disguise. But if she wants to send you elsewhere, I don't think I'd do chemo before surgery (unless they already know it's cancer). The surgery itself is going to be hard enough on your body, but chemo is going to be doubly hard. Why take it ahead of you possibly don't need it? I hope I'm not stressing you by bringing up these questions. It's just the way my brain works; asking questions about the what ifs. Hugs, love, & prayers! We're here for you! 🙂🙏💕🌼

Feb 03, 2016 10:00 PM

Yes .I noticed..it must seem that u answer the same question like five times.. Especially when. We r also talking on PM....lol but yes the hospital they want me to go to is basically home for me . I love it there its where my boyfriend is. So it great for me..I've had to wrap my head around not having mom come with me.. But as I've stated.. I know its up to me.. I just hate that this is how my life has ended up. Feeling dejected by my mom and dealing with such life altering decisions. I really need to get good on my stress relif. I feel like I'm gonna break any minute. Ughhhhhhhhhjhhh.

Feb 03, 2016 10:15 PM

Have a good try first, then make plans! Hugs!! 🙂🙏💕🌼

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