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Angry with myself again!

May 30, 2019 2:29 AM

Run out of pain medication, again! Can't get ant until Monday so I have to go through the whole weekend on nothing. Tempted to buy from the internet but wouldn't know where to start and I've heard these orders take ages to arrive! How could I have been so stupid??? Brain fog led me to believe I had another strip in the medicine cupboard, just got up to take one and......box empty! I hate myself so much sometimes. I hate this crappy illness and feel so worthless. Goodness only knows why Jeremy want to marry me in September. I'm a ball of brain fog, dizziness, and can't even cook every night for my little family, which gives me so much joy, presenting a plate of delicious home cooked food. Teenage daughter who needs to eat well and I have no choice but to sit there and watch her eating pizza or pasta AGAIN! Jeremy came in from work late a few nights ago and had a cheese sandwich for his dinner! What kind of wife am I going to be? I still have my faith and that is one of the only things that keeps me going. I live 5 miles from Salisbury Cathedral and 2 miles from Stonehenge, so I should be grateful, but I'm not. Am I having a tantrum?? Yes, I think I am!

May 30, 2019 7:06 AM

Hi fibropen I think this all the time I’m getting married πŸ‘° next September 6 2020. He re assure me all the time that we can manage everything with the help of each other and everyone where we live .
I just keep on taking how he manages with lupus also with one leg left side. I am going through my back pain issues and hope it don’t go a different way . Bc I have been helping out along the way.
He’s been helping me emotionally also . So I get where your cone from so much . I’m even on peri menopause right now it annoying me I’m 48..
I keep thinking not yet . You and I can help each other I would like that .hug to you and everyone here Shore β€οΈβ€οΈπŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ™πŸ™Have a nice day

May 30, 2019 9:12 AM

Fibropen, try not to be so hard on yourself. We've all been there at some point. My inability to remember when to take what meds or forgetting them, and running out became a major red flag for me regarding fibro fog. I ended up downloading an app called Dosecast, which reminds me of what to take and when, as well as reimnding me when my med supply gets low (various settings from a few days to a month...). This has been an awesome relief. Of course my hubby is now realizing just how hard it's been for me because being mobility restricted right now he is having to gather my meds at the designated dose times. LolπŸ˜‰

There are many apps available, including some that you can share with others who can remind you of missed doses. Check out the app store! I'll be praying for your pain endurance through next Monday... And sending hugs & love too! πŸ™‚β€πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jun 01, 2019 7:58 AM

Thank you so much for your support and prayers πŸ™πŸ» I do try to take it easy on myself but I am one of life's worriers. In fact, if I don't have anything to worry about I worry that I might be missing something! What a pile of pooh I am! Jeremy is taking me and my 16 year old daughter to Mallorca in just under 3 weeks, north of the island in a private villa in the mountains, miles from anywhere, in between Pollenca and Porto Pollenca, just magical. We have been 4 times and each time I have had a massive crash and spent the vast majority of the holiday in bed, so am praying that this one will be different and I will be well. My pain decreases (probably the warm, dry air) but exhaustion 10 times worse. Please pray for me! ✝️

Jun 01, 2019 9:17 AM

Hi fibropen I will pray for you and your family , hug and be safe and less pain . Hug to you Shore β€οΈβ€οΈπŸŒˆπŸŒˆπŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

Jun 01, 2019 10:07 AM

Fibropen, my sister calls me a worry-wart, so I understand! Lol πŸ˜‰. Sending up prayers your pain will be as little as possible so that you and your family can spend time enjoying the trip! Pace each activity with frequent rest periods. Whenever we travel anywhere, I have to get out of the vehicle to stretch my legs every hour; otherwise I will have severe pain to deal with. Hugs love & prayers this will be a good trip! πŸ™‚β€πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jun 01, 2019 7:17 PM

First of all be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a dear friend. Beating yourself up just add to stress and inflammation thus causing more PAIN. So stop it. Second please for the sake of your life do not buy meds from the internet most are contaminated and cause death or do not help at all. At my doctors office alone there has been 4 deaths in a year from internet purchased medication alone.
Next Jeremy wants to marry you because he loves you. Obviously he is not going into this unknowing of your illness. Can your daughter help you prep meals? Here we do most of the cooking on the weekends and put it in small portions in the freezer for during the week. We also eat alot of fresh salads too which make me feel better. The less processed food the better for all.
Please consider The Whals Protocol book by Dr. Terry Whals it is a great help. (Check my spelling I cannot remember if it is Wahls or Wahls) Apparently I am too lazy to walk into the other room. There is also Whals Facebook group if you do not want to jump all the way in yet. I promise getting rid of processed food helps on every level.
Also I put my script refill dates in my phone with an alarm set so I know what is due when. If at all possible stash 3 or4 pills for an oops day. I have been able to cut way back off of my pain meds so I have plenty of back ups for those days that involve a weather change and throw me for a tail spin.
Hope this helps you and be kind to yourself. There is no shame in asking for help, took me many years to learn that.

Jun 02, 2019 5:49 AM

Hi lmb I even liked what you wrote even at the end, bc I’m have a hard time in asking for help. I think bc, it makes me feel differently some how.
I know now that they only want to help me not hurt me . So good advice at the end Lmb. Hug and have a great day painless one to ShoreπŸ€—πŸ€—β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ™

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