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Another lonely, sleepless night

Dec 06, 2016 12:00 AM

I know from welk your posts that I'm not the only one here stuck up all night just wishing we could fall asleep. Jealous of our spouse/partner for so easily just rolling over and falling asleep in what seems like two seconds. They say sorry and they understand but no one who doesn't live it can never fully understand the misery and loneliness you feel. To tell my story might take all night but the short version after spending most my life being told i had fibromyalgia and all kinds of spinal ailments, i was diagnosed last week with MS. talk about a shocking surprise. I thought at the time i might,at worst, be in for another spinal surgery only to be told be the surgeon that he needs me to see a neurologist. He would not tell my why just that he was sure i would find the answers to my pain there. Well iam thankful he was the first surgeon to look beyond the herniated disc and see the white spots all other docs missed until then. So after a few more mris, blood tests, and a spinal tap it was offical , i Have MS. It's so new to me it hasn't even sunk in yet what that means. It also makes me question all the surgeries I've had over the years and all the doctors i told that fibro just didn't make sense for me. I see another neurologist wensday to find out what kind i have and discuss a treatment plan. All i can hope for out of all this Is maybe with the proper treatment i might finally feel a little better.

Dec 06, 2016 12:59 AM

Am so sorry.. I can't imagine what you must be going through. :(

As for sleepless nights, none of us are strangers to those. I think Mr. Sandman has taken a permanent vacation.

Hope you are able to get some rest tonight and that your appointment Wed. is one that will mark the beginning of successful treatments for you.

Looking back it's so hard to not cringe at some of the things doctors have said... And to not become bitter at their incompetence. I have learned over the years though that it's more important to keep our focus ahead - towards things we can control and possibly change.

Dec 06, 2016 2:33 AM

Your story makes me so sad and so angry at the same time. Each diagnosis is bad on its own without now feeling you might have received treatment that you didn't even need and lost treatment time which might have helped to slow the MS. I hope it only goes uphill from here and you find a treatment plan that works for you. Sending you bucket loads of strength to carry you through

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