Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

Anyone else having a bad night?

Oct 30, 2016 2:13 AM

My spouse & I argued today. Now not only am I dealing w/ a bad medical day I have this stress. So of course I can not sleep. Why is it the ones who are suppose to love us unconditionally can be so hateful and mean? 😭😭😭 I hate this life.

Oct 30, 2016 2:43 AM

Mzladybug, don't hate this life.. please don't. I know it sucks sometimes and it's true that sometimes those who are supposed to love us can cut us to the quick with just a few words or a nasty look. It's like being stabbed through the heart with a knife. Pick and choose your battles sweetie. Say what you need to for yourself and try not to let it become a huge argument. Then, let it go, it's finished. It's not easy, I'm 52 and still not able to do it myself all the time but over time and with the love and support of my BFF, I'm getting there. They say there are no guarantees in life.. I can guarantee you that my BFF will NEVER hurt me (nor will I ever hurt her) and I know that as long as life keeps us here, that we'll have each other. In that I'm more than confident. So, that being said, take a bit of a step back and think about it. I promise that it will get better because YOU will be better. Hang in there Hon. {{{Hugs}}}, positive vibes, good karma and well wishes headed your way. Try to rest a bit. You may be able to drift off. 💕

Oct 30, 2016 2:54 AM

Thanks Alwayzinpain Ik I can't sleep. I have to find someplace to live he wants a divorce. Wants me out of his life tomorrow. He gave me 24 hours and I have to sleep on the couch.
I do a pretty good job at picking my battles. In his world I'm not ever allowed to be pissed off about something he's done. This life is just so much harder when your sick. I could handle all this before I got so ill. But stress really messes w/ my fibro and migraines. He's sound asleep. I just want to go in there and smack him upside the head(not that I would ever be abusive)& say if I can't sleep neither can you!!! Don't worry I'm not suicidal I just hate life right now.

Oct 30, 2016 3:13 AM

Just want to make sure. We've all been at that brink at one point or another. I'm sorry for what he's doing to you but imagine the immense amount of stress and negativity that will be out of your life forever. Then you can be your own person and not worry about not being "allowed" to feel angry or sad or happy or anything. I have to say, I would somehow find a way to wake the bastard but it wouldn't be worth it. You don't need the ramifications. Hang in there Sweetie. You've got an entire community to lean on. {{{Hugs}}}💕

Oct 30, 2016 3:22 AM

Thanks Alwayzinpain I will say this sight has been life saving!

Oct 30, 2016 5:14 AM

Oh mzladybug that is awful. We're here for you in any way we can be.
It sounds like he has no empathy and is selfish, sounds like you will be better off without him.
It'll be hard at first but once you have the freedom to feel the emotions you need to feel rather than the ones you're allowed to feel you'll be much better off. You can trust me on that.
Unfortunately I'm falling apart at the moment but my doctor thinks it's because I have Post Trumatic Stress from my abusive ex husband. When we finally went into the woman's refuge (long story short he moved 200 yards away and followed us everywhere) I made sure my kids got all the help they needed but I've neglected myself and repressed all my emotions hence why I'm struggling now, so when you find your own space make sure you get the help you need don't neglect yourself because all the emotions you hide or ignore will come back sooner or later.
Sending you {{{ BIG GENTLE LOVING HUGS }}}
You are in my prayers and I'm sending you positive healing vibes xxx

Oct 30, 2016 6:32 AM

I have been pondering what to say besides.. how terribly awful.

Hugs and you can get thru this!

Im not sure where you are or your finical situation but please consult a lawyer ... Especially if you own your own home. Here in. Canada most lawyer give 1/2 hour free.

Sending healing calming thoughts and again I so sorry you are burdened with all this extra stress.

Sezzy ... Hugs to you as well. It's a hard journey and ptsd is a total bitch.

Oct 30, 2016 9:50 AM

Sending positive thoughts for strength, inner & outter. I understand what you are going through. My late husband was enough to deal with when I flared. Try to breathe and know that deep down not only do you have emotional support from wonderful people here, but you Will make it through this stage of your life. New beginnings can be scary, but also so Freeing! Gentle hugs and strength sent to you!

Oct 30, 2016 2:28 PM

Sezzy, foggurl & QuietLight thank you for being here & your kind words. They put a little bandage on my broken heart!
It really is sad though that complete strangers seem to care more than anyone else in my life. Thanks for hugs and prayers. Y'all are in my thoughts and prayers too!

Oct 30, 2016 2:49 PM

Mzladybug I completely agree with you on that, unfortunately family and even friends have no understanding of what it's like to live with chronic pain and also a lot can't/don't want to understand.
It's those closest to us are the most critical especially if they were with us before we became ill and were "demanding" back then.
Have faith in yourself you are a beautiful person inside and out. Things happen for a reason and better things are to come for you. I was heartbroken when I had to get my ex to go and it's been a struggle but my kids are soo much happier now the only thing I have to do is focus on myself so I can learn to live with the pain as best I can so I'm the best parent I can be for my 2 wonderful (and a little argumentative) children.

HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT
BETTER THINGS ARE COMING
Remember that and you can get thro anything life throws at you xxx

Oct 30, 2016 9:47 PM

Mzladybug -
My husband did that to me, except he did give me a week. I called Social Services and told them I had a week to get out and that I didn't feel safe in my home. They had me out of my house and into an apartment in two days. You might check into women's shelter. And you might see about a lawyer. Some will offer a free consult so you know what rights you have.

Am so sorry hun. It's not a good place to be. :( I do know that it will get better. ((((hugs))))

Oct 30, 2016 10:08 PM

Mzladybug, I felt my ❤️ squeeze when I read your post. Most men want to fix whatever is wrong & when they cannot, then the fault is ours & they just want out of the situation. It becomes "you are the one with the prob, not me." I am so sorry you are hurt & afraid. I think Mimikay has some good advice for you if your husband really means it. Take care of yourself & keep us in your loop. We will be here for you, when u need some ❤️

Oct 31, 2016 12:17 AM

Mimikay, Sezzy & silvrrry thank you for your kind words and advice. I have a lot to figure out. Y'all are the best. Thank you for taking time out of your day to care about me. {{hugs}} say thank you isn't enough but it's all I have right now. Prayers and pain free vibes headed your way.

Oct 31, 2016 12:31 AM

There's not much more I can offer than what I've experienced and hugs.
Like Mimikay said look into Woman's Aid or the equivalent where you are and if you explain your situation to them they will help you.
At the end of the day we can all offer our advice but it's only you who can figure out what's best for you and whatever you decide is best for you we're here to lend a shoulder to cry on and to celebrate anything that makes you happy.
Sending you { { { GENTLE HEALING HUGS } } } XX

Oct 31, 2016 12:37 AM

Thanks again Sezzy! Ditto on a shoulder and celebrations on happy days!!!

Nov 18, 2016 10:31 PM

I just reread all you wonderful, word of advice on my day of heart break.
My husband & I are working together to get thru the rough times. Somethings have changed, we are taking one day at a time. If you pray please include me in yours. I believe I have reached the worst part of all this and am trying to remember to breathe and to stay positive. Thank you again to all of you for you taking the time out to support me verbally for that I'm grateful.

Nov 19, 2016 1:28 AM

Heart felt prayers.

Nov 19, 2016 2:33 AM

Mzladybug like I said you need to do what is best for you.
I'm happy that your husband is working with you to get thro your rough times and hopefully the changes will help you both especially for your husband to begin to acknowledge and accept that you are not well and in a flair, what was already difficult is near on impossible.
All I can say is to find a quiet place, one where you can just sit and stop for a few minutes. Then clear your mind then take a deep breath in counting to 8, hold that breath for a few seconds then let the breath out up to the count of 10. Do this a few times as it should help quiet your mind for a bit so everything isn't as overwhelming and you can think in a rational way to choose what you need to do and what decisions you need to make.

You are in my prayers that everything works out the way you want it to xx {{{gentle healing hugs}}} XX

Nov 19, 2016 2:42 AM

Thank you Sezzy!! Your in my prayers and thoughts! Thanks for caring so much! I really do appreciate it!

Nov 19, 2016 4:46 AM

mzladybug, I am glad that you and your hubby are taking things a step at a time and things are looking brighter. When you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it always helps some with the anxiety and fears (both of which make our pain levels higher). Sending well wishes and {{Hugs}} your way😊💕

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community