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Are you compelled to tell it ALL?!!

Jan 08, 2017 2:10 AM

Do you ever find yourself in a position where you are justifying your right to be in pain?
Do you ever feel in addition to explaining you can't do something because of the pain your in, you go further and dive into medical history? Perhaps even into psychiatric or family issues?

I do have a modest social life mostly thanks to my family and the need to feed myself and because I talk to people in waiting rooms. In addition to the causes of my never ending pain I also have an oxygen leash which at times I'm thankful for because I can at least look sick. But, I always have people asking the never ending stream of questions that I've read on other threads offering advice.

I just wonder how hard it is for others to limit how much information they share about their condition. My chronic pain is a snowball of several issues so no one magic solution would work And would potentially make the others worse. It's taken a lot for me to learn to listen say thank you for caring and move on and still like the person. But what do YOU do?

Jan 08, 2017 2:18 AM

For me I just keep doing what I'm doing when one of my peers asks me why I'm limping I can't say anything cause then start telling me to quit the acting all the times there tired of it but I'm the one who deals with it. I get so frustrated with them I don't know What to do anymore. Some people are just to judgemental about us they don't even know what our day is like or how the slightest thing can hurt or make it worse.

Jan 08, 2017 2:52 AM

So true! We could tell them that when people ask too many questions the stress causes pain 😆evil laugh

Jan 08, 2017 3:24 AM

I am being to find myself wanting to do this, in a way. I've been dealing with this for a short time in relation to most of you all however for someone who had not been ill it's been forever. So now thst I've have several surgeries the latest one being a big one
I'm feeling as if my people are so over it. Heck so am I. I actually had my mom say I need to get out of my own. World.. ha.. hell, I'd love to. So to answer your question. I'd say yes. However, I'm not sure how much telling them would help .

Jan 08, 2017 10:40 AM

I have thought seriously about having a business card made up that briefly explains my condition. Maybe with links they can go to in order to read more about it. And on the back a statement such as "I may not look sick but I am." or "living with an invisible illness sucks."

Or "get over your judgemental self!" lol

But I usually just say I am fine and then walk away or change the subject. A few close friends can look at my eyes and see when I am having a rough day.

Jan 08, 2017 2:31 PM

Over the past 7 years I've learned who I can be completely open and honest with, and who I need to withhold info from. Most of my family & friends (distant) have no idea what I'm dealing with; even co-workers when I worked. With time you'll learn too. Hugs love & prayers! 🙂💕🙏🌸

Jan 08, 2017 4:09 PM

JustCj, I wouldn't explain at all. Since the likelihood is they won't understand anyway, why waste your energy with long explanations and then feeling you need to justify your pain. It adds stress and therefore runs your pain levels up.. if you want to tell them you're hurting and you give them even one diagnosis and they want more from you... Direct them to Google!!! Sending well wishes, healing {{{Hugs}}} and good karma your way.🤗💕

Jan 08, 2017 10:24 PM

I've done this and gone into detail because they asked only to find they don't really hear....they only listen to snippets then come to their own conclusions which are normally misunderstood so now I just say -

"I have trigeminal neuralgia which is nerve pain in the left side of my face and anxiety that is all due to the stress of my divorce"

I leave it at that unless they really want to know and are going to listen then I go into detail. I've become fairly good at judging who will actually listen and understand and the people who keep insisting on the full details but I don't feel comfortable talking to and who I know won't listen or will go around saying stuff to others that I'm not comfortable with, I tell them that we're in a public place and it's not the right place or that there's kids about that don't need to hear the ugly truth or that my kids are with me and they've already lived thro it and don't need to to hear about it again to bring back the memories.

There's people who know the true extent of my pain but the stress behind it I've only glossed over some of the details especially to close family....I don't want to physically tell them the full extent but they've guessed some but I won't openly talk about it to them. I've told very few like my GP, pain clinic....my medical team....the police altho my word against his meant it was a waste of time telling them....and I've told a couple people who I thought were close friends only to find out I was wrong.

It's all about how you feel with the person who you're talking to and whether you trust them.

Sending you positive vibes and warm healing hugs xx

Jan 08, 2017 10:55 PM

Horsenuggler12 I answered you too quickly. I read some of your other posts and learned your in school. Of course your peers think your acting because they are the ones desperate for attention and they are afraid you are getting some and they aren't. Shame on them. When I was in school I dealt with something similar. It's not you. It doesn't suck any less knowing that. The problem is that they are just desperate for attention good or bad. Some of them mistakenly think that if they were sick people would be nicer to them. I used to think if I had a good enough illness I'd have some sort of golden ticket where people would be nicer to me...but that's not the case yet. I'm really sorry you have to deal with stupid people. Some of the stupid people I dealt with grew up and are on TV and in the movies. I hate seeing them. It's like being bullied again and again. Sigh... it does get better. 😊I have people around me now that really love me. I couldn't have imagined that happiness when I was 13. 😉

Jan 18, 2017 6:48 PM

I hate that so many can relate to this lousy experience. My husband, whose been with me through near death experiences, unfortunately, still grows cold and resentful at times. The last time I was restricted to a bed, begging various doctors to simply help me, my husband would fill a yeti cup with water, put it on the nightstand, and leave. Even if he was home by noon, there was no offer to help. Limping to the kitchen for a single banana, unable to stay on my feet any longer, and crying, and he just ignores me. I ask for food or drink and I get irritated dirty looks. I truly hope for better for y'all.

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