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Blue cross HIIPA violation

Jul 21, 2015 9:23 PM

Ex husband texted today--we haven't spoken to each other in two years and don't see each other --for a reason. Turns out My cobra health insurance messed up and has been sending copies of all of my health claims to my abusuve ex husband apparently all of this time. Enough that he essentially rejected me for being ill, though I wouldn't be with the likes of him again today, alcoholic and just plain mean. He freaking texted---he was annoyed and asked that I "remedy" this. he tried to challenge my illness during the divorce in order not to pay more and though that tack didn't work The bullying and stress took a huge toll and ultimately the Financial stress altered my life This is now another stunning invasion of privacy. I've done all I can to separate from him and try to move on and now this insult to dignity. He has now seen everything and I don't even know the beginning . it would be the same as him having access to to my journal for the past two years while he goes about his business ij his healthy body with all his money, and being able to track me without my knowing. I am overwhelmed . they are investigating it going to get back to me. I saidI want see every single EOB that went to his address, what exactly happened and why it happened. The woman said it happened at the big Blue Cross level not the independent contracting company. It's all I can do to handle the health insurance anyway, resolve claims, to get to these doctors and think of a reason to keep plugging through and now this. I'm sorry this may be a little off topic here but it's very real for me and a very real part of how illness and pain have affected me emotionally and financially and in all ways. The best thing I did for myself was not be in contact with him and at least know that he didn't know what was going on with me and now that's gone.

Jul 21, 2015 9:30 PM

That is awful. I'm sorry that they did that to you. I hope they are able to figure out where they screwed up and fix it.

Jul 21, 2015 10:01 PM

Thank you gotob. I just wish it wasn't so humiliating. The claims came here too so I didn't know and he didn't bother to let me know until today. This means he saw every visit to every doctor, therapist, lab tests--everything he'd despise or ridicule. I have a feeling Blue Cross won't do it again but he can't un-see anything now. Not to mention I'm supposed to be writing all the details down and my hand hurts too much!! Aye aye aye.

Jul 21, 2015 10:04 PM

I didn't mean we don't see each other because of the insurance thing --sorry for wording this all haphazardly, I'm highly combustible at the moment! I meant to say we we're not in contact because it's extremely unhealthy for me to be in contact with him in anyway.

Jul 21, 2015 10:18 PM

Marsemouse, I'm a dependent on my hubby's work plan. He actually can see claims on me at any time, online or by mail. We receive them all the time and they're always addressed to him. He was under blue cross but now it's united. He can elect for me to see his or not, but as the dependent I can't. Is that how you're was, as a dependent?

I'm sorry it happened and its upset you so. Maybe now that blue cross changes it he will leave you alone. ((Hugs)) & prayers for a peaceful sleep!πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jul 21, 2015 10:39 PM

We are divorced. It was through his work when we were married. Cobra is for three years after a divorce at least where I live. When we divorced I took my policy over completely independently. Different policy number different name different address. Took over all payments toward my health plan, separate from him and anything to do with him.

Jul 21, 2015 10:48 PM

When we were married same thing flappys, we shared a plan. We had an acrimonious divorce to say the least. when we were together he raged at me for being "complacent" if I couldn't get out of bed when I was undergoing radiation therapy. Id hope to get over that sense of worthlessness by now being away from him, knowing at least he wouldn't be judging me for living with illness. I'd already resigned myself that I'd likely be alone forever but at least I'd be without that torment. Surprise--just so he knows I'm still as sick as ever. I just didn't need him knowing.

Jul 21, 2015 10:50 PM

It was a mistake, blue cross acknowledged it. They deal with cobra and divorce every day, it's standard. It's a divorce, that was the point! They are investigating how it happened. Nothing should ever have been sent to him, legally.

Jul 22, 2015 2:08 AM

I am so sorry this happened to you! This would be my worst nightmare. My ex was extremely unsupportive and borderline, maybe not so borderline, abusive about my illness and I would just die if he had been sent "updates" on my health status. I occasionally get mail for him but it's usually just junk stuff.
The worst part of this situation is Blue Cross can't give you your sense of mental security back. Sure they can look into it, apologize, fix the problem so it hopefully doesn't happen again, but the damage has been done. That always frustrates me the most.
Here's the thing to remember. Your ex is still just that, an EX. Finito. Out of your life for good reason. It. Brings up really painful base fears and responses to be sideswiped with this information, but you are still strong and in control. You were not and are not worthless! And he is the reject, not you for having an illness. I know this because I too was rejected for my health, but found an excellent partner that cares deeply for me and my health, attended chronic pain classes with me, reminds me I'm not useless or worthless when I'm frustrated curled up in pain raging and crying at the unfair world. There is hope, light, and spoonie love in this world and if people like our exes can't see past their own prejudices then they will miss out on a lot of beauty in this world. Because those of us under so much pressure most certainly shine the brightest like diamonds. β™’β™‘

Jul 22, 2015 3:20 AM

Thank you for understanding wynnbliss, it is my worst nightmare. I can't sleep. I'm a mess. He might as well have read my journals for the last three years. I didn't expect it to take so long to recover and now I feel as ripped open as I did in the beginning. He was so cold, that text. like can I remove my unsightliness from his vision. He was cruel in court, tried to dispute my diagnosis and make a mockery of me. He had money to fight and I didn't and the stress beat me in the end. The whole thing was traumatic and invasive and humiliating. I felt fiercely protective after that. I have done everything to keep private I don't even have a FB account for this reason and the whole time he was privvy to my whereabouts, procedures, therapy appts (oh god), lab results, claim after claim because I've been having so many complications. I don't have a shred of dignity left. Thank you so much for understanding, I don't know what to do.

Jul 22, 2015 3:21 AM

And I keep writing HIPAA incorrectly I'm so scorched.

Jul 22, 2015 3:44 AM

Deep breaths. I know that's harder than it sounds. Wish I could actually be with you so we could do a breathing exercise together because I'm sure you are super scrunched up and taking super shallow short breaths and that's bad for your nerves both emotionally and for physical pain.
The shock of just having him text you would've been bad enough I'm guessing, so having everything else on top... it's hard to process.
My ex texted me happy birthday and I didn't really know what to do with that. He remarried almost immediately after and when we were together if I had to go to the ER he'd dump me at the curb and go to the bar or a friends to get high. But the big reason I have bad memories is that I had ambien as a sleep aid for a while when we were together and it made me sleepwalk and act awake in crazy ways. He often took advantage of this to increase our sex life because sex was agonizingly painful for me at this point in time due to my endometriosis. Then he left for someone new and not sick, but still texts happy birthday. Sicko.
Best to just move on, but I know how exposed you must feel. Just try to think more about those of us cheering you on. The ones who don't care what your medical records say about you or how thick a file they are because we are right there too. Again, easier said than done but I'll be sending light and love. β™‘β˜†β™‘β˜†β™‘β˜†

Jul 22, 2015 5:03 AM

How did you know wynnbliss. I'm lying with my hand on my chest to remember to breathe. I've been breathing like a Pekingese since he texted 12 hours ago and it's 3am. He also drank to excess and got high but had contempt and judgement about legitimate meds. I'm so sorry you suffered such a terrible reaction to Ambien and had to endure your exes unconscionable behavior. How dare he just pop in for a happy birthday! Maybe I'll be able to get a few hours of sleep, your message helped me feel less alone. Thank you Wynnbliss, I wish you were here too.

Jul 22, 2015 5:34 AM

Omg! That really is appalling! Can you hold Blue Cross to account for such a heinous error?
I'm happy that here in the UK it doesn't work the same way. My ex hasn't a clue about my health problems. He was an abusive SOB too. *sigh*
A few years back I did a support group called the Susie Project. It's a course to help people who suffered at the hands of their spouses or partners but had separated from them. It helped a little but my physical health went downhill after that.
I do hope all this gets sorted out very quickly for you. I'd also suggest blocking your ex now so he cannot contact you, except through solicitors. You should be allowed to move on from his impact and not still be suffering at his hands.
My very deepest empathy and sympathy.

Jul 22, 2015 9:40 AM

Thank you so much. I am looking into that. It is not supposed to happen in the states either, he should have had absolutely no clue about my health problems the moment I changed to 'cobra' and the divorce was settled (unfairly in large part due ro my health problems). that would probably be different in the UK. This was a complete blunder on the part of blue cross and they acknowledged that. My medical records were scrutinized during this hideous divorce and he is the absolute last person on this planet that I would want seeing such personal information. I really am mortified. I'm actually glad he finally texted or who knows how long it would have gone on. They had the called to tell him I was trying to use his policy number which is ludicrous. I realized this morning after three hour of sleep (thank you Wynnbliss!) that I have to cancel my doctors appointments today, one for physical therapy and an appointment for a nerve conduction study because I have no assurance that it won't happen again while under 'investigation'. The supervisor that I spoke with agreed that it's a breach of HIPAA Going up against Blue Cross is daunting under any circumstances but as you know it's so much worse because I'm not feeling well, I'm exhausted and in pain and I've been trying to find relief and good medical care all this time. Unbeknownst to me he was getting copies of every detail I am so grateful for your understanding.

Jul 22, 2015 9:57 AM

That really must be utterly awful for you. How dare they put you through this and cancel appointments that you have because of their idiocy.
Any stress makes us so much worse and you are under considerable stress I'm sure. Wish I could help.
I also changed my name but that happened before the divorce. I changed back to my maiden name as soon as I left him. The children had theirs changed a long time ago too so they share my surname. It should mean that they have no reason to make such mistakes. My sons medical papers did occasionally go to the wrong address in the first few years but that stopped pretty quick.
Super squishy soft hugs. Rant any time you need to.

Jul 22, 2015 10:06 AM

I changed my name too, legally. Back to my maiden name, It's on the card. I am in such bad shape to begin with from that marriage, it decimated me on so many levels. I've been trying to recover my health and this set me back to ground zero. I feel as raw as the day I left in physical bruises. Thank you pjb

Jul 22, 2015 10:55 AM

My heart breaks for you Marsemouse. Wynbliss gave you some great advice. Just breathe and know that you will get through this. The hard part is over; he's gone. He can't hurt you anymore. I know it will take time to get back some of your confidence but keep reaching out, don't let him win.
Blue Cross should have to compensate you for the mental anguish they've caused.

Jul 22, 2015 12:25 PM

Thank you India Kerrie. Seems like the people who should have to never pay. I sound so dramatic but I have not gotten over the damage and now it seems futile. You are exactly right--except he can hurt me in the unhealed places I still allow him to hurt me, emotionally and in my heart. That relationship shattered me, shook me to my core. I didn't want him knowing what city I was in let alone the condition of my health, trajectory of dates times of dr visits, good heaven all of my medications, everything he was contemptuous about and humiliated me for. I know it's my job to deal with that but this was out of my control and is incomprehensibly difficult to process on so many levels. It's a matter of dignity. I am embarrassed, reminded how he does not care, that I am still alone and have to accept I might always be, that he knew all along (by getting copies of all of these and there are countless copies to countless providers, letters about reimbursement I've been waiting for since 2014 that got 'lost in the system') while he went on to better things. Including all of his pension plan through Blue Cross that he didn't have to share a whit of with me. Enough time has passed that I was finally starting to make peace with those things. Well His fancy pension plan screwed me royally, mistake or not. I am now an even easier target for him where I assumed I was completely protected. I have nothing left to fight with. Though I tried to convey the sense of betrayal in those therapist visits I have been unable to find someone who really gets this kind of physiological/emotional trauma. And now to find out he knew the private details, the number of visits when I thought those were only known to me, when I was trying to at least maintain a sense of composure in court. And though it is mine to maintain it has not been easy to hold on to a sense of worthiness in the face of all that's happened. Whatever his response--whether he's laughing at me or can delight in caring even less because I'm clearly still struggling so much. Finally attending to things I didn't address when we were together because of the pressure to appear better than I actually felt. I may not have been able to boast great success but at least I had my dignity. Until yesterday. I am burning from humiliation, I just don't know how else to describe it. These are things that take years to sort out if they ever get sorted out. Thank you for letting me rant for being a safe place, for your kindness and understanding. It makes me feel a little less dehumanized knowing people here understand. I hope my comments here are not easily discovered but can't even be sure of that. It's not fair it's really not fair. But life doesn't seem to care about that. Thank you for caring. I'm sorry to post this lengthy haphazard mess, thank you for giving me breathing room!

Jul 22, 2015 12:43 PM

Sending you gentle (((hugs))) today. Glad you were able to get at least a little sleep. I agree Blue Cross should be held accountable and be made to pay in some way. I also realize how much energy it takes to stand up and fight back or fight for damages. Especially when it is something so painful and close to your heart, but it can help with healing. I also realize finances and resources factor hugely into the picture as well, but there are ways to find assistance with legal fees etc... I'm in process of a legal situation myself with no money to speak of so I completely understand.
For the moment keep breathing and reminding yourself that you are free of your ex. I'm sorry you felt you had to cancel your appointments. :( is there any way you can get a confirmation from Blue Cross that they have or will stop? You will be in my thoughts. β™‘β™‘β™‘

Jul 22, 2015 3:09 PM

Good morning or afternoon or evening or whatever it is wynnbliss! I left a message with the supervisor saying I want a return call assuring me this wont happen again and that I cancelled two dr appts today because I have no idea if he'll still mistakenly receive copies of the EOBs. She was very nice yesterday and seemed concerned but I haven't heard back yet. I'll have to call again about using my insurance card while this is being investigated. Thanks for the support, I am definitely going to take action I'm just not sure how or what form that will take yet. Im so grateful for the support here/-it gives me strength...she said as she collapsed on the bed in a stress puddle...πŸ’•

Jul 22, 2015 4:30 PM

😦😦😦 marsemouse Sorry to hear this. I hope I can ask you a couple of questions. These are meant to upset you or place blame by no means. I'm a disabled RN. I worked in a hospital for 22 years so I know a lot about HIPAA. Matter of fact that's why I got fired in the end. I can relate to ex also. My first question is your COBRA policy listed in your name? Second question is your insurance card in your name only?

Jul 22, 2015 5:22 PM

Yes and yes! Sorry to hear you had your own struggles with this, I'm interested to know what you think.

Jul 22, 2015 6:14 PM

Well one lawyer just said the cap for HIPAA breach--if you can prove financial loss and intentional malice (no)--is a whopping $1,000. Yeah our privacy is so valued and protected.

Jul 22, 2015 7:27 PM

Marsemouse, I'm truly sorry for what you're going through. I wasn't sure how the insurance was so I asked, but I didn't mean to have you relive it by telling the details. I can hear how upsetting it is just reading your words. I can't say I understand being divorced, but I grew up in an ugly divorce between my parents. So in some way I can understand. I imagine the privacy breach is no less painful or scary than if a total stranger broke in and went through your home. I hope BCBS makes sure this never happens again. I don't know but if you did want to talk to a lawyer just to see where you legally stand, maybe one who specializes in medical malpractice or something like that. I hope you'll be able to get a better night's sleep tonight. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jul 22, 2015 8:03 PM

Marsemouse I've heard of much higher amounts for HIPAA breach. Visit hhs.gov to find out more on the subject. You can even file a complaint if you want to.

Two people have lost jobs in my organisation for HIPAA violations. One was caught looking at the ED tracker on her computer to see who was there. Since she wasn't seeing those patients it was considered a breach.

One was making copies of films for her teaching file. You need permission to do that and the exams have to be stripped of personal identifiers. She had good intentions but went about it the wrong way.

I pray this gets resolved for you in a satisfactory way so you can get back on the road to feeling safe.

Jul 22, 2015 10:04 PM

Oh it's OK flappies really. I'm just upset that I am this undone. It's been three years and I feel like he's in the next room and my heart won't stop racing and it just doesn't go away ever even though I carry on and he doesn't give a rats ass. He should've alerted me immediately when those started coming to his house but I don't want to be in contact with him about it right now. And the surprise element makes it all the worse. So far people say there's not much to do except write a letter and I will to the insurance commissioner. But I will keep researching IndiaKerry. Meanwhile no one's gotten back to me about assuring me it won't happen again. Thank you for your comforting thoughts and prayers.

Jul 22, 2015 10:22 PM

I was just starting to have days when I didn't obsess over what happened with him. Lawyer or not this is emotional distress.

Jul 23, 2015 12:11 AM

So I will try to be brief. I am truly sorry for the massive breech of you personal information that is just a terrible feeling. The fact that your ex used it against you only makes it worse. Contact the state Board of insurance and demand that Blue Cross be held accountable. If this was truly an error there is still a serious fine to the company AND the idiot that sent out your records. If it is found that this was done on purpose or to be malicious the fine jumps to 25,000.00 (and sometimes more) per incident to the company and I know a hefty fine to the idiot agent that did it like maybe 5,000.00 to 15,000.00. Every larger city has a legal aid office (very low cost or free attornies) that will help you. The board of insurance will also help you. Do a google search for HIPPA rules and violations for exact information. If you cannot find the board of insurance phone number just call any of your doctors offices they should have it posted in their lobby. If I can be of any help please let me know. Best of luck.

Jul 23, 2015 6:23 AM

Marsemouse, Do you know if they were addressed to his name or your name at his address? If it was your name at his address go online at the USPS and do and address change. We had to do that for my mother in law. All her mail comes to us because she's in a home and deemed incompetent from her stroke.

I know how horrible it is to feel afraid because someone knows your every move. Years ago I had a complete nervous breakdown. I was afraid to leave my house for 2 months. I suspected everyone that looked at me was conspiring against me. It was horrible to get through but I did it with a very good counselor and psych doc. They said it was delayed PTSD from childhood. I still have depression symptoms and anxiety some, but I know the symptoms that I didn't then.

I truly hope you can get through this quickly. We're all here to listen and support you the best way we can. (((Hugs))) of comfort & prayers for you! May today be a much better day for you. Just remember to relax by breathing slows and controlled, when it feels overwhelming. It helps me to imagine I'm hearing a waterfall or ocean waves and my breathing slows down. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jul 23, 2015 12:14 PM

Marsemouse I am truly sorry for what you are going through. I believe that I would rather have had a stranger look at them than my ex-husband. What an invasion of your privacy!! I was on an abusive marriage for 12 years. I am better with PTSD about my 12 year marriage. But if something catches me off guard... All the old feelings come flowing back and it's like it just happened yesterday.... I don't know if this helps, I certainly hope so. I would love to share more but I have to get back to work. I'll check back in later on... One minute at a time. Take a deep breath and think about how far you have come. Let those old memories fade as much as you can. I think what I will wish for you ... A peaceful afternoon... Remember that stress causes pain... It's a vicious circle. Hope you know you can vent anytime... Cathie

Jul 23, 2015 2:24 PM

Just off the phone with Blue Cross. She tried telling me all of my providers were entering my information incorrectly (!!) Finally she saw a hardcopy and realized my data was entered correctly as I had been telling her. She called Blue Cross had me on hold came back and said there's a glitch in the system and that they've been billing under both addresses. She can't assure me that it won't continue as it's being investigated (expedited). I do believe it was an error but it's horrifying nonetheless. Maybe even worse why didn't he tell me when they started sending these to him in January and his utter disregard for me I didn't need to see that again. Cathie you are exactly right on. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of your comments and support it's gotten me through this.

Jul 23, 2015 2:26 PM

LMB I have asked for a letter detailing everything that happened, how why and what exactly, once they find out.

Jul 23, 2015 3:41 PM

Lmb is there a fine if it was an error? Maybe I was given incorrect information on that. I hope there is.

Jul 23, 2015 5:26 PM

Ugh. JustBCathi this has really triggered me--the obsessive thoughts, betrayal rejection, wondering thinking about him, just ugh.

Jul 23, 2015 9:27 PM

I need to find a lawyer, the right kind. Not necessarily specializing in HIPAA those firms seem mostly to protect the insurance companies, here anyway.

Jul 23, 2015 9:44 PM

I can't go to my dr appointments. I mean I can but all of my EOB's are still freaking going to him--until they "investigate" and resolve this. I can't believe the rep tried to say all of my Drs and labs and MRI facilities mysteriously billed under my ex husbands policy though none of us ever had access to his number. That is maddening. Gee kind of like an abusive person trying to gaslight me. And they told him I was using his card! Unreal! I'm not on his policy, it wouldn't work if I even had the card, it makes no sense under any circumstance! When she finally saw an image of a claim I sent in myself she slid smoothly into oh yes, this "was billed correctly" and then she called Blue Cross. Gee she came back so very nice and suddenly helpful--except nothing has changed. Oh yeah well oops we did that, sent copies of all of your most private health records to your jerk ex husband who hated you for being sick and weeeell looks likes it's gonna continue. It's just so wrong.

Jul 23, 2015 9:54 PM

They can't let it continue! That's a violation of privacy, and a serious one. The least they can do is make it stop. Sorry people are being so awful, you could try a go fund me or a petition to change it, if you're willing to. I figure, someone invaded your privacy, I'm sure it's happened to other people. It would be a lot of work, but I don't know if it's worth it.

Jul 23, 2015 11:06 PM

Yes, there is a fine! If it was accidentally released it is one amount. If it was on purpose there is a higher fine and either case the company and the employee get fined. Finally accountability. Having been in healthcare for 20+ years I am glad because HIPPA is a huge pain. I agree with the importance but some of the crap they force you to do is just stupid. You may already know this but I will put it out there for anyone that does not. When you deal with any insurance company (I do this with all phone interactions) first question-who am I speaking with and please spell your name and give me your employee number or a reference number for this call, write that info down in case you need it later. Next if you need a manager repeat step one and then TELL the person on the phone to STAY ON THE LINE WITH YOU UNTIL YOU ARE CONNECTED TO A MANAGER. This way you do not get transferred to the abyss. I forces accountability. Normally I am not a bitch but insurance companies bring out the worst in me. They are great at taking your money, denying your medications, screwing up your paperwork and not taking responsibility for it. Let's just say I am done with it. This aggressive tactic works with any company you have to deal with even comcast.

Jul 24, 2015 12:08 AM

I hear you. They suck the life out of you. He made me sicker and they're taking advantage of an easy target. I've been "pro active" and yes aggressive but they make you sick in the process no matter what. The woman said she "couldn't guarantee" it won't keep happening to cover her ass and suggested maybe my providers might agree to "hold off on billing me in the meantime !!!!" It's unbelievable how she tried to be so aggressive and totally unaccountable at first. I had to consciously fight against feeling wrong instead of indignant, through the brain fog and still try to be effective. I'm tired from lupus sore with arthritis and can't write the info down because my damn hands hurt. And how nice, he got the hand surgeons claim, and the pain management claim... By the time I was off hold (while she privately talked to Blue Cross and I realized I should have demanded to listen in) I was so exhausted I just had to get off the phone.

Jul 24, 2015 12:21 AM

This is one of the worst things that could've happened if you know my story. It makes me glad I've been as guarded as I have about the entire medical industry. I'm so relieved I didn't go inpatient for anything--he took infinite pleasure in humiliating me for that one.

Jul 24, 2015 12:25 AM

Great idea ferret bandit not sure I have the energy or physical capabilities. It's not even a contracted company though-- it's the great and powerful blue cross. Go Fund me would be awesome if I had the wherewithal.

Jul 24, 2015 7:04 AM

Marsemouse, any breach after you notified them could be seen as intentional rather than accidental, especially seeing they've had 3-5 days to fix the problem. In today's electronic world it only takes the right correction to be made and its final. There shouldn't be any further breaches! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jul 24, 2015 8:43 AM

Having worked in the health insurance industry for 11 years, I can tell you that unfortunately nothing happens quickly with the carriers. It can take 30 days or more. When you contact the insurance company I would advise them that you are keeping a journal of each call you have to make with the date, time and name of the person you were speaking to. All tell them that you are going to go to the Insurance Commission in your area and show them all the records and that they are conducting illegal release of your information to your ex and if it's not straightened out immediately, you have a lawyer on retainer. I hope you get this cleared up. I'll call my old office and ask what other things you can do to correct the problem. You're in my thoughts and I'm sending you gentle hugs to help you to relax a bit. You'll see, it will all work out. πŸ’•πŸ˜Š

Jul 24, 2015 11:43 AM

Alwayz: I just left a message with the woman at Blue Cross who suggested my providers might "delay processing" my claims until this is resolved (right). Since she can't assure me it won't continue I'm going to assume that it will continue. So I requested a letter detailing what is happening, that my claims are erroneously and egregiously being processed under my ex-husband's policy as well as my own and my privacy is being breached. I said I want to be able to show my providers this letter in the meantime, so they might agree to delay processing my claims as she suggested yesterday. It will be interesting to see if I get such a letter and how she tries to spin it. I am logging these events and will submit a letter to to the health insurance commissioner. Thank you so much for the encouragement!!

Jul 24, 2015 11:47 AM

Always I just saw that you are going to try and make a call on my behalf. I am so very grateful that you would do this, whether you speak to anyone or not it is so heartwarming to know there are people like you here.

Jul 24, 2015 12:11 PM

ugh I had such a bad night. I must have woken thirty times burning hot and thrashing in pain, gasping for air because my sinuses were clogged and dreaming I was suffocating. New day. Sigh. complex ptsd

Jul 24, 2015 1:05 PM

Well I called one patient advocate, found a number online. She wants $600 for four hours as a retainer, and said she would get to the right people and get it to stop, most probably in those four hours. She was shrill and brassy and put me ill at ease so I listened (she pretty much cut me off when I spoke anyhow) and thanked her for her time. I did get one thing out of it: I should have asked "who" is investigating at Blue Cross. I get exhausted, emotional and can't think clearly and also functionally --the pinched nerve and neck problems have me in pain and unable to write without aggravating the discomfort. But maybe I'll be able to think for myself for $600. She gave no import to the privacy issue. Said things could be a lot worse and it could be about insurance not covering severe medical problems. Why even have HIPAA if patient advocates give it no credibility?

Jul 26, 2015 11:40 AM

Got a nasty text from the ex yesterday--he received 8 more copies of my EOBs and is too much of an ass to understand that this is a big eff up at blue cross. Told him it would have helped had he let me know he's been receiving copies of my claims for the last seven months, so sorr he's "sick of it" but I had no way of knowing because he didn't *tell* me and claims were coming to me as well. I am so frustrated and pissed off.

Jul 26, 2015 12:48 PM

LMB thank you for the link. I'm going to spend my Sunday using what little energy I have to journal a time-line of every communication thus far. My stomach is in knots, did I mention I have ulcerative colitis...oh how grand. He's been sent copies of those labs too--the gastro-enterologist visits, colonoscopy, gee why didn't they just send him my stool sample?

Aug 04, 2015 11:55 AM

I've sunk into the worst depression since this happened. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to eat. I don't care about anything. I felt awful before and this sent me into non stop awful. Blue Cross left a message that the problem was fixed but never sent any letter of confirmation or explanation as I requested, or responded to any of my messages. I downloaded the HIPAA complaint form and if I could get myself to move I would fill it out. I was told not to wait too long to send it in which is a good idea except I can't do anything and keep lying back down and flipping the remote control and crying and sleeping. Why even do it. I know that's not healthy but I've been fighting so long just to get to ground zero, and that's just accepting living with chronic pain and illness. Being totally out of control of huge empires like Blue Cross, realizing the complete lack of regard from my ex husband, why even pretend submitting a complaint will help on any level.

Aug 04, 2015 12:22 PM

Sounds like you've gone into self destruct mode hon. Is there anyone that can spend time with you right now? Any friends or family that will be able to support you and give you a little mental pick me up. Ask someone close to help fill in the form. Maybe get them to write out what you describe?
Although you've been thrown several curve balls (made of lead and covered in prickles), you have to know that neither the company, nor your ex have any control over you. Moving on from this can only start when you make peace with it, however hard that is. And filing the complaint, which you could also send to a relevant ombudsman or even a local politician/paper etc. Give Blue Cross as much negative publicity as you can over this and maybe it will have a positive effect somewhere down the line.
Throwing my virtual arms over the Atlantic.

Aug 04, 2015 1:12 PM

PJB have very good ideas and I have nothing to add. Even though I may not know you in real life but I've been reading this post.

No one can control you like PJB said. What you do is in your own hands and the only way to motivate yourself is keep reminding yourself that your ex does not determine your level of happiness. You do what you want and when you want. Please please pick yourself up. Nothing is really worth bringing yourself down to ground zero. The faster you pick yourself up, the faster you are able to happily fulfil your life again.

Keep ranting here if you need to. Really good and understanding individuals here.

Aug 04, 2015 6:56 PM

Definitely contact someone. At this point, they've basically said deal with it and your privacy is already gone. I know standing up for yourself is unbelievably hard, but I'd be up to try to help. That is just pain wrong! I'd definitely make your story public like PJB said. If your ex already has info about you, it can't hurt to push back.

If you can find someone to help you, it might help you feel a bit better, even just because you tried.

Aug 05, 2015 9:46 AM

Don't stress your self all he was able to see was the financial part and who the doctor was they don't send medical records unless he ask for them and then he would have to sign a waver to get that information and if he did that, you would have a paper trail and a legal course of action against him and the insurance coupany

Aug 05, 2015 9:59 AM

Do notify the federal government hippa. They will fine them as hard as it may seam to get out of bed right now. Put a positive spin you get to stick it to him and the insurance company. There is no denying that you are Ill so they just proved your case for you as far support goes

Aug 07, 2015 12:01 PM

Thank you so much. I have plummeted into such a deep depression, I think just from feeling so exposed and disempowered from an already disempowered place. And things continue to pile on, more frustrating dr visits, etc. I received a letter yesterday from BlueCross, two sentences essentially saying "oops but not really oops because once upon a time you were under the same policy". Like I'd broken a nail and this should be expected in a divorce where the parties don't speak to each other and the ex tried to use my medical records as a weapon and even though it didn't work it humiliated the hell out of me. I was desperately trying to recover from that debacle when this one happened. I do want to file the complaint even if it goes nowhere and no one looks at it (like someone said yesterday would likely be the case). I was trying out a new therapist and thought it would work out because she also has Lupus. I went six times and explained my situation exhaustively. I thought maybe it was just her style so I hung in but she kept asking questions I'd answered moments before and was admittedly judgmental about more than a few things so I'm over that. When the blue cross incident happened she asked if I couldn't "just let go of it". Right after I tried to explain the visceral physical aspects to complex Ptsd which I took for granted (very incorrectly) a psychologist would understand. So I'm feeling particularly untethered and leaning toward hopeless but I am heartened to come here and find responses from people who care. Maybe I'll be able to pick the darn form up again and rewrite, after receiving the dumb excuse letter explaining nothing. I was already writing here about the intense isolation I've been feeling before this happened. The other day some high falutin' dr/psychiatrist/operator of big biz said I "seemed just fine" (he was trying to get me to change my Yelp review!) Do people--Drs or anyone else--think I'm going to lead with my absolute worst possible behavior and assume if I am not howling or crying I must be fine? Or figure if I "pass" during a social interaction it means I'm not in pain or depressed?? I guess I'm frustrated--yes if you saw me you'd probably assume I had a life and maybe even friends and family. I'm trying to rebuild, maybe even begin construction in certain ways at this late date. I wake in the night alarmed about my circumstances--I don't ask my unconscious to torture me. It's hard but I haven't given up completely. I really thank you so much.

Aug 07, 2015 9:59 PM

Marsemouse, I hate you are struggling so hard to get through this. Several suggestions above are good ones, about having someone help you and motivate you to move forward. You got knocked down, hard, but you can get back up and go forward. Is there a way to block your ex from any contact? I think it's totally unhealthy for you to hear from him at all. Can you block his number, or change yours? You can't control BCBS but you can complain on them. It won't reverse anything for you, but it may cause them to be more careful in the future and your actions may protect you and others in the future. You can't control your ex or what he's seen, but like others said it didn't contain the medical record so he can't know your diagnoses or meds. I say block all contact for your own health. And if you don't start feeling like you are regaining control, l think you should call your doc. You're in a bad place right now and you need someone close to help find a way out. Just take one step at a time, one hour, one day... Hugs & prayers! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Aug 08, 2015 5:17 PM

Thanks Flappyz, we don't have any contact. He only let me know after seven months because it annoyed him or in interfered with something he wanted. Otherwise it would have gone on endlessly. Thanks for the good wishes though, and hope you're feeling okay.

Aug 08, 2015 5:25 PM

Thanks Marsemouse. I'm doing better today than yesterday. But I overdid it shopping and hope I won't pay for it tomorrow. My grandmother's family reunion is tomorrow and I haven't been able to go for two years. She's been decreased nearly 10 years but my dad's going and two sisters are going too. I hope I don't regret the 8-9 hours day on Monday! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Aug 10, 2015 10:11 AM

How did it go Flappys? Hope you are recovering and taking good care of yourself today!!

Aug 10, 2015 3:56 PM

Thanks Marsemouse! We made it to the reunion and enjoyed it very much. I was the youngest there at 53, and the oldest was 95. My dad was so proud he had the daughter's there. We figure after he & his cousins did we won't have anymore reunions because the younger generations just don't attend them anymore. My own kids, & brides & nephews said they weren't interested.

The six hour round-trip ride was rough on my body but I took a muscle relaxer and slept fairly good. My hand tremor was awful and the right arm still hurts today. The fingers are tingling. It was worth the pain though! It's the first fun trip I've done in a long time, since 2011. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Aug 10, 2015 4:22 PM

PS... We spent 2 hours listening to stories of their generation growing up. Wrote, what a difference from today's kids! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Aug 10, 2015 10:16 PM

Flappsy, I am so glad you enjoyed your trip and the fact that you did it and had a really long day of driving gives me renewed hope for my fun trip on Friday!! I'm
Trying to stay settled and not to worry, I know that once we get going, I'll be alright. I love listening to the stories from the older generations, they are amazing and wonderful. What a gift to have been able to hear them and follow along to where things are today and how the world has changed. Personally, I loved the simpler times when we went OUT to play, there were 12 TV stations and all the neighbors watched out for all the kids. Rest well, my friend, you deserve it!! I'm really happy that you have no regrets in going to the reunion. πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Aug 14, 2015 1:48 PM

Great to hear Flappys!! I started a beta blocker a couple of days ago and I'm trying to adjust. The dr said to take more if I get breakthrough palpitations--which I'm having. If I take any more I'm afraid I'll fall right out of bed from feeling so logey and disoriented! Thanks for checking in Flappys, I haven't been here for a couple of days and it's always nice to hear from you! πŸ’–

Aug 14, 2015 7:57 PM

Marsemouse adjusting to meds is always tough. Be careful, and have a good weekend! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Aug 15, 2015 6:41 AM

Marsemouse what's causing your palps? I got off of beta blockers for them due to the drowsiness. I take a calcium channel blocker. I've been reading but haven't commented but I hope you are feeling better about the situation with the insurance co. and your ex. Counseling perhaps if you have the ins coverage? Hope you feel better sweetie.

Aug 15, 2015 6:42 AM

Counseling to help you at least get it off your chest, you've every right to be royally ticked.

Aug 24, 2015 1:41 PM

Thanks, I definitely shut down. Hopefully I'll get back on track but doing this alone gets tiresome. I've had such bad luck with therapists. I don't know what's going on anymore. The dr said to hang in and see if the side effects lessen from the beta blocker. They have somewhat but I still feel like I'm in a new dimension of exhauastion. I was having PVC's (extra beats?) all day long and through the night. It's a relief not to have them so much and I hadn't realized how much adrenaline I was pumping from anxiety until it slowed down a bit. Not sure if it would make any difference to switch from Toprol xl to atenolol, dr said I might have the same side effects from that. Thanks for the support cmgrayson, I appreciate it.

Aug 24, 2015 5:43 PM

Marsemouse, I'm glad it's improving. It's got to feel much better. I occasionally get palpitations of skipping beats, and its freaky. Sometimes it feels like my throat closes a few seconds. My dad has a-fib and he started like mine. I'm just hoping I don't get it later. I oppose you get the meds adjusted so it's one less thing to worry about! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Aug 25, 2015 5:24 PM

Thank you Flappys! I hope so too. My throat felt weird too, still does but not as bad. It may be something to do with acid reflux (also) triggering the PVC's. I really hope the exhaustion gets manageable. There's got to be a speed between nervous wreck and comatose!! I hope you're well FlappysπŸ’•

Aug 26, 2015 7:36 PM

Forget Toprol. Way too many side effects. My hair was already falling out. And blue cross I'm not done if your skulking. just on hiatus.

Aug 28, 2015 5:51 PM

Thanks Marsemouse. It's beena rough week and the last three days I've been in a real funk. But it will pass soon I hope. Hope you have a good weekend! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Aug 29, 2015 12:51 PM

I'm sorry you had a rough week {{{Flappys}}} It's a 'super' moon tonight, I'm trying to convince myself that's why I feel so awful but I think I just feel awful! I hope you're feeling better today, sending healing thoughts your way πŸ’–πŸ’

Aug 31, 2015 12:34 PM

Thanks Marsemouse. We had to go shopping yesterday for a baby gift. I tried using a πŸ™cart, but the stores racks are too close together and I nearly hit 2 women when I went to make a turn. My hubby went and swapped for a buggy and I walked the rest of the stores. When I got home I collapsed in my chair and slept 2 hours. Then this morning I feel asleep just 2 hours after getting up. I tire very easily following activity of any kind. I'm beginning to think I have chronic fatigue! I know my joints in my hands have hurt bad & swelled on & off the past four days, yet the doc says I don't have RA. But at least, other than falling asleep, I feel better than last week. I hope you feel better soon! Hugs & a prayer. πŸ™πŸŒΌ. We just have to remember, there's always sunshine 🌞 after the rain β˜”, and if we're lucky we see a rainbow 🌈 too!

Sep 01, 2015 10:59 AM

Flappy's It's always so nice to come here and see your posts! You are so thoughtful. I just assume chronic fatigue is part and parcel to all of these auto immune conditions but it's such a frustrating and individual variable! I can't trust myself to make plans anymore, but I don't want to become any more isolated:(
An acquaintance asked if I wanted to join her writing group--I said I'd love to but can't guarantee I'll be up to going every week. It was okay until I cancelled a couple of times--now she calls every week, two days before, to see if I'll be coming. I finally had to say I can't predict, so my default has to be no (if I'm required to say two days in advance how I'll be feeling in two days...if that makes any sense!). It felt awkward but oh well! I was thrown because she survived a stroke and seemed to understand about the extreme fatigue, cognitive problems, etc. but I guess it's a matter of degree, circumstances. I hope you are joint pain free today Flappy's--I'll be looking for rainbowsπŸ’• ✨🌹

Sep 02, 2015 9:31 AM

It makes perfect sense not knowing how tomorrow or any future day will be! My daughter asked yesterday if we were getting the granddaughters this weekend. I told her I can't answer (the overnight insinuation) until it gets here, but we'll get them for a day if possible.

I am say I think that my fingers and hands pain I was having was because of the rain that came through. It's gone and so is the rain. Lol go figure! Have a really blessed day! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Sep 09, 2015 10:19 AM


Sep 09, 2015 10:23 AM

IT MEANS EITHER ITS STILL HAPPENING OR ITS FALLOUT (sorry for shouting) for their blunder of processing my claims under two different account numbers. I haven't heard from or spoken to the ex and don't want to. I was on the phone yesterday trying to get a $500 dollar bill adjusted as a courtesy (not related). I wish I could find someone to pay as an advocate. The one I called wanted a retainer of $600 before we met and was brash and icky. I need help.

Sep 09, 2015 9:45 PM

Marsemouse, I wish I knew someone you could call! I hate dealing with people who can't do their jobs. You are dealing with such. You're in my thoughts and prayers! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Sep 10, 2015 10:01 AM

I would happily pay someone, that advocate (not) was a random contact I found in the yellow pages. I'm just too tired. Cardiologist this morning, , physical therapy yesterday, endocrinologist next week for the thyroid nodule, 6 month mark for cancer check, gastroenterologist because the colitis is out of control, this is nuts. It's all wrong.

Sep 10, 2015 10:04 AM

Mates mouse, I am going to review your thread on this issue. I worked in medical insurance for 11 years and handled many people's claims. I handled my best friends case last year and saved her almost $11,000. I can't make any promises but I will read this over and see if I can be of any assistance to you. You've been through enough, there will be no payment necessary if I can help you.πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Sep 10, 2015 10:20 AM

Yesterday I felt guilty at the physical therapists office. She asked if I'd done anything fun over the weekend. She'd been to Paris. She's lovely and we chat but I'm not having fun right now and my neck muscles are in spasm and I just want some pain relief and not to have to pretend I'm happy. I mentioned that the medication made the colitis act up-- what that actually means is I feel like I have dysentery. I spent four days lying in bed or the bathroom floor. I can --please excuse me folks-- be in the bathroom nine times in two hours. The only reason I'm even saying that is because it is EXHAUSTING. I wouldn't believe all of this I heard it, or might think this chick must be exaggerating but it is endless. I also have LUPUS. People seem to want validation so they can continue to invalidate. Ok, diagnosed by three rheumatologists. It sucks, I'll spare the endless symptoms of systemic lupus, at least for me. Not managed well. I take Plaqyinuil. I hurt constantly. Not all of this shows all of the time on the outside and I shouldn't have to wear a disclaimer or explain to everyone or hand them my medical records although hey, they're public by now. I'm a cancer survivor, I hope it's past tense but there's a "finding" I have to check next week. I am
effing exhausted. My belongings have been in storage for two years now. I had planned on finishing the divorce and starting a life--accepting the alone part--just moving on. I got stuck here at my relative's house, he is utterly clueless and living here is not good for me but I haven't figured out what to do with myself. I look like anyone else if I happen to get out that week. I dyed my hair yesterday- let it go the longest time I ever cause I couldn't function from the darn meds. So now I don't overtly look as old. I considered letting myself look like a complete vagabond so people might take me seriously. How ironical is that.

Sep 10, 2015 10:22 AM

AlwayzπŸ˜€πŸ˜ƒno promises, just total gratitude for reading!! Thank you no matter what, even if you can't get through the thread.

Sep 10, 2015 10:28 AM

Alwayz the only thing I want is to get a cohesive letter to the insurance commissioner and file a HIPAA complaint. I don't have a desk or office space here and I can't organize my thoughts. I have been paying over $800 a month for this private (ha) personal insurance policy. The policy was in effect-not in effect all of those months, I don't expect Blue Crioss to be accountable but I want the public to know. Big time. Thanks again.

Sep 10, 2015 10:37 AM

Marsemouse, I absolutely WILL get through the entire thread. I will be reading only information provided by you and taking notes so it will be easy. No worries, I pray with all my heart that i can be of assistance to you and take that burden from your shoulders. You've been through enough.πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Sep 10, 2015 10:57 AM

{{{Alwayz}}} thank you from the bottom of my hyperactive heartπŸ’–

Sep 10, 2015 11:01 AM

...ps I would absolutely pay, Alwayz-- I wouldn't feel right otherwise. Off to dr now.

Sep 10, 2015 3:35 PM

Just BCuzz Cathie I would love to talk to you sometime.

Sep 10, 2015 4:58 PM

MoparMom, you are more than welcome. If I can help you, I will and this whole mess will go away. It may take a bit of time and also follow up calls on my part to keep track of progress and also having a way to get you the notes and all of the people I speak to with names, dates, times and what the calls entailed. Any authorization numbers or confirmation numbers for the calls and status updates. I am (if I do say so myself), very efficient. I never speak to folks without getting names, direct phone numbers or extension numbers as well as the content of the calls. I wouldn't even know where to begin as far as a fee. I really DON'T want to charge you anything!! Most of us are in a position of not being able to work or work very little and money is tight. I'd rather know YOU had your money and be able to pay for your bills and not come up short. Who knows, one day I may need you to help me through a day, just by listening to me kvetch would be payment enough). If people can't do things from their heart to help someone out (even a stranger), sometimes it feels unfulfilling. My best friend wanted to pay me for doing her bills. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks and had many tests and two procedures. I went to her house, stayed for a week and for several hours each day, I sorted her papers out, matching her EOBs with the invoices. I made phone calls and when I went back to her house 2 weeks later, I followed up on some open ends and her payout amount went from almost $11,000 to just under $700. She didn't have the money being on a fixed income and I made payment arrangements with the hospital and I paid the bill for her and she is paying me back a little at a time. This is just how I am. There are so many wonderful people here and I feel happy to help wherever I can. I just hope that I am able to help you. If I need specific paperwork from you, I could go to the office where I used to work and have you fax it to me and I can in turn, fax things to you. (I don't remember what state you said you live in) I'm in Long Island, NY. I will do my very best (as I would do for anyone) to assist you with this and I am praying that I can help you. If not, I apologize ahead of time. Something tells me that I won't have a problem helping you. I still have contacts high up at Blue Cross and they will be able to give me numbers that most wouldn't be able to obtain. So, keep your money that you would pay an advocate and buy yourself something that you've been wanting. I'll be in touch.πŸ’•πŸ˜Š

Sep 10, 2015 5:13 PM

Alwayz I don't even know what to say! Please don't go to any trouble whatsoever, it's enough to have your input and support right here. I'm on the west coast, it would probably be too difficult to do much of anything without being in contact. I am going to try and find the app that lets us message each other, that would be great. I wish I was in Long Island, the people are nicer where you come from. Your friend is very lucky, thank you {{{Alwayz πŸ’–}}}

Sep 10, 2015 5:27 PM

That's very sweet of you to say. She is my very best and dearest friend and 13 years ago moved up to Massachusetts. I've known her for 22 years so she's been through the mill with me. She drove 4 hours to come to Long Island and sit by my side going into surgery. She sat on my gourney, held my hand, dried my tears, put on that stupid paper hat they make you wear and made me laugh. As soon as I woke, she was beside me with a smile and a reassuring hand on mine. I stayed with her several times while she was hospitalized for 11 days. I don't have many friends (maybe 3) but they are TRUE friends. Ones I trust with my life and visa-versa. I just come from a place of caregiving and I like who I am and that is another reason I have formed many bonds here (Flappsy, Profiler, Weezie, Amanda, Ferretbandit). All people who rushed to my side to introduce themselves and offer me support and compassion. This community family is a Godsend to me. I hope it is for you as well. It's ok, we'll work it out somehow to get in touch. Cross your fingers and I'll do my best to work my magic for you. πŸ’•πŸ˜Š

Sep 10, 2015 5:34 PM

Alwayz here's another killer, the exes policy (so same as the COBRA I took over) was through one of the Guilds. They get the best benefits and care of any insurance I've ever had--it's truly unfair. If this had happened in reverse they would have had hell to pay. It wouldn't have happened though, they treat the Guilded like royalty. When I was on his policy it cost him a whopping $50 a quarter to get my benefits--what I pay over $800 monthly for now. And still he let it lapse during the divorce, the courts do nothing as long as it's "remedied" by the time the judge sees him, which was a year later in my case. Apparently they don't care about the spouse of the special guilded person! Just a note. Hope you have a great evening.

Sep 10, 2015 5:37 PM

Alwayz you deserve it. No medicine compares to that kind of friendship, I miss it terribly.

Sep 10, 2015 5:39 PM

Thank you for that. I am blessed to have her and our friendship is very strong and we have each other's back no matter what. If either one of us says we need the other, we come running. I hope you have a great evening as well, Marsemouse!! I pray you and everyone else gave a peaceful, restful and light pain night. Sweet Dreams!! πŸ˜ŠπŸ’•

Sep 10, 2015 10:50 PM

And Marsemouse, you are one of those newfound friends! Speaking of Weezie, has anyone heard from her? πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Sep 11, 2015 5:37 AM

You know, Flappsy, I was going to ask you that. I haven't seen any recent posts from her... I'm worried.

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