Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

Burst of Emotions - still hope

Feb 18, 2019 3:58 PM

Not new here. Created new user ID for new pain specialist treatment. Anyways, end of this rant, there is light.

I’ve been let down several times by my gp and have always feel intimidated by her. I’ve been in pain for 8 years and with the doctor for my last 2.

Don’t get me wrong, most doctors are good, even mine. After years of nagging, I’ve been off all opioids for 5 months. It was a victory on her part. Since then, my medication consist of only Gebapentin and paracetamol.

Days went by, side effects were horrendous. I told her it’s not working, my back spasms are simply not manageable. She told me to stretch it out. Months went by, I played along. I told her I can’t get out of the slump and it’s not working for me. She brushed me off and kept increasing my dose for gebapentin. I’m like what’s going on. I didn’t dare say anything.

I was waiting for a new pain specialist appointment so I could get proper treatment as I wasn’t getting any. I’ve waited for months and even between each appointment I would ask about it. She said she hadn’t heard back anything. After 5 months of putting up with her, I asked again. She said there was nothing on file. I cried.

I went home. With sudden burst of emotions, I boiled water and poured it over my hand. It felt good. Nobody knew. I was then getting attention like I was suppose to. Took 2 whole months to heal, still healing. Pain subsided and now my back is getting all the attention again.

It is the lunar year holidays. I asked for paracetamol with codeine, just one day of pain free. I never ask. She said no. I cried. I’m a 40 year old young man balling my eyes out. I went home. I head butted the wall so hard I passed out. I feel concussed. I later wrote a letter about how I felt and what I have done. All the self harm I have done.

I had a call from a social worker the next day. They wanted to see me about my letter. It was the doctors colleague. I went. Told me they were not comfortable with prescribing me anything else due to my history.

I asked them what history? I’ve never abused, I was still working till they switch my medication. I still had a life. Now I don’t. I know I’ve got serious depression going on. You can be blind and still see it.

I was picked on about how I missed one appointment in 2017. I’m like it’s 2019. Anyways. It got messy. I cried.

Light shown and my prayers were answered last week. I had a teleconference with a pain specialist set up by my previous doctor. I was told that I shouldn’t have being on those medication from the start as there had never being any proper diagnose.

I’m happy and tomorrow MIGHT be the day I can get a full report on how to manage my pain the correct way. 8 years I’ve being waiting.

However I’m so scared I get let down again. I’m not sure what to do is nothing is being done. I don’t want another out burst of emotion again.

Feb 20, 2019 8:33 AM

I know that feeling... It's like they think depressed people can't handle meds that can be abused. Paracetamol can be abused! So we shouldn't take anything?!?

I hope the specialist can help you. Don't take no for an answer!

Mar 25, 2019 9:13 AM

Sad but hear you doctors today
I gave up on them deal with this firbro best I can alone

Mar 25, 2019 10:57 PM

So sorry to hear of your ongoing battle. It’s a darn shame that you are being treated this way. Have you heard anything new? You stated that tomorrow you were going to get a full report on how to handle your pain, unfortunately having depression or any psychiatric condition is still
being met with a lot of stigma and prejudgement. I hope and pray you will be soo receiving better care. Sending you 🤗 and wishing you 🌈 hope for a better outcome in your treatment.🦋🌺

Mar 26, 2019 2:56 AM

Yah I got a report from a teleconference that I have a bad back depression. I’m like ??? What???? There were no physical examination at all and from the questions he asked me, that was his diagnose. The only good thing was I got gebapentin changed to amitriptyline. Getting more routine on sleep. But pain had still been there and it’s no where near manageable.

This new doctor I’m seeing I feel has been biased about her views on me based on previous doctor notes. I get nothing for pain. Only Muscle relaxants, i said it’s not working. I’m just sent home instead.

But after she thinks I’m crazy and keep doing self harm to myself for taking more than 16 Panadol’s a day, she wants to send me to a pain clinic on the mainland, which I welcome the change but she said she’s going to tell them I’m doing self harm and need urgent attention. I don’t know what to say to that. I just said, yes I need to go to one.

But anyways. Thanks for reading my post and replying: means a lot to have people who can relate to you. Not just anyone can do that without going the pain we go through. Prayers to all of you for better good days, one day at a time.

Mar 26, 2019 2:55 PM

Octodaddy, I just responded to your other post so I won't duplicate here. On the upside of this, many have received good results through pain clinics, me included.

I was under one from 2011-2013, recieving multiple nerve block injections in my spine, top to bottom, with good results. I have spinal stenosis. OA, DDD, facet stenosis, pseudoarthosis (unhealed disc fusions), curvature, and many other chronic pain spinal issues as well. As I mentioned in the other post I'm allergic to many oral meds, so injections (injx) was a good alternative for me at the time. Unfortunately I went on to develop osteopenia and can no longer recieve those type injx due to bone loss. Belatedly I learned I was also given too many injx too close together, which may have started the bone loss. But with family genetics that would be hard to prove. Just be aware of all the risks to any treatment methods. I'll be praying this works out for you at the pain clinic! 🙂❤🙏🌼

Mar 26, 2019 4:22 PM

Thanks. I thought they would have helped but it was only through a teleconference and next appointment is in 6 months. But not sure whether this doctor can get me there sooner.

Apr 11, 2019 6:01 PM

Hey again lady and everyone I had back injection also I don’t think 🤔it took this time it did in the beginning but I’m feeling more pain in it.Grtting frustrated but I’ll see him dr in May 2 I’ll ask him anything else we can try .Any suggestions? I hope that you all have a nice day hug gently 🙏🙏🙏🙏🌷🌷🌷🌷

May 02, 2019 4:53 PM

Hi guys letting you know that I had seen by dr and I go back yet again May 7 1:20 to get yup another back injection , on the right side twice ..
I have Siatica pain on the left that’s where they put it last time but it didn’t work .
So maybe this Tuesday will be different I don’t know. We were scheduled dr appointment today this morning I get so frustrating that I left to another room.
But it all turned out at the end My fiancé helped me out . I got a ride there and back on that day )),, now I’m just frustrated on other things all at the same time .
But being distracted and doing things help me the most . Hug gently to all sorry for venting yet again ... 🙏🙏❤️❤️🤗🤗🌹🌹 Have a nice one ☝️ Shore

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community