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can't afford to stop working. Help

May 22, 2015 6:26 AM

Hello, I'm a surviver of two lower back surgeries in 1998 & 1999. I have been living with little amount of paint until last year. I hurt my back again in 2014. I took off a month of work to heal but after the month was over I was no better. I got a different job but still in pain. I have stuck with this job because it is owned by a church member of mine pluse I am making very good money and can not afford to quit. (The job before this one came with free housing, but now we are having to pay rent for a place to live. Which makes it impossable to quit. I also have 6 children to care for.) But it is becoming very difficult to do my job with the increased pain to my lower back, and down both legs, and now pain and numbness down left arm to my thumb. It is almost to the point to the time in 1998 when I had my surgery. Help! What can I do? My neurologist gave me an epidural last fall 2014. But it did not help. He suggests surgery again but I can't afford it or the time off work. In 1999 I was diagnosed with 10% permanent disability but did not seek to get on disability because I was only 22 then and married with one child. I needed to work. I'm now 39 and am to the point of needing surgery again. What should I do?

May 22, 2015 6:41 AM

Very lost of words for your situation and definitely financial stress is not coming at a good time.

I would personally advise to talk to your boss? Have you accrued any leave? If not maybe ask your boss to get some sort of paid sick leave or paid leave in advance? Pay backs a bitch but it's something you should look at if you are desperate. There is no shame in asking. If you don't ask, you never know and be a fool, if u ask and get rejected, least you know the answer. Try and work out a win win situation for your boss, compromising and losing some now may be better for you in the long run.

I'm sorry I can't be of much help. I do feel for you.

May 22, 2015 7:12 AM

I totally understand your your situation, im 23 and and hhave systemic lupus, arthritis, fibromayalgia, raynauds and joint hypermobility. My My husband totally supports me and keeps a roof over our heads. I'm fighting for disability and can't claim sick benefits or other benefits. I would look into what benefits you can claim, I I know you don't want to claim disability but maybe it's time? Try Google for and benefits calculator love. Sending love :)

Xx loubie xx

May 22, 2015 7:22 AM

Thank you Octobot. Yes, it won't hurt to ask. But, being a General Contractor I won't have paid leave but maybe he can help in other ways.
Thank you.

May 22, 2015 7:26 AM

Hello Loubie, Thank you for your reply. Yes, maybe its time to look into disability. I need to start looking into that and see what support I can find for my family and how to pay bills.
Thank you.

May 25, 2015 3:44 AM

You mentioned that your boss is a fellow church member. Many times if you ask the church will help you. Ask, ask, ask what is the worst that can happen. You will be no worse off. Any help is still help. I understand that it hard to admit you need help but even food from the food bank would free up money for something else. It is worth a try. If you try for disability more than likely you will not get it because you are working and they seem to hold that against you. It is like you have to be past your last dollar to get help. Also check the United way to see if there are any programs that they offer. I had to stop working over two years ago and still cannot get disability. Too many people have screwed it up for those of us that really have real problems. My thoughts are with you. Keep us posted. We are all here for you.

May 25, 2015 7:22 AM

Thank you for the information LMB. I have applied with the local hospital for financial aid to help pay for new check ups for this year and what ever else the Dr. would like done. I have informed my church of my problems and am waiting to see what they say. In the past after my lower back surgeries my wife worked but now we have to many children and I can't physically care for the little ones. I am going to keep checking around to look at all my opinions. Thank you for your information.

May 25, 2015 8:55 AM

Hanginginthere, None of us plan or want to be disabled. But after four years of thinking I'd eventually get back my health and return to work, I came to realize last year it wasn't going to happen, and I applied for disability, and I'm waiting to go before the judge. I'm 53 and thought I'd work until I turned 65 at least. I had a mass removed in 2010 but it turned into 5 in1 surgeries, and I just kept developing new symptoms and complications. Just this year alone I've developed heart issues, dementia symptoms, tremors & right side weakness (using a cane &/ofrollator), hypothyroidism, and Sjogrens (autoimmune). SSD income is nowhere near what I could be earning as a medical coder, but every single pennie will help will help. You do what you have to do, and stay strong in your faith in God, He will see you through! Prayers & hugs!🙏🌼

May 25, 2015 2:41 PM

Lupie Loubie I agree with everyone ask all they can say is no. At least you will know where you need to start. The only thing about SSD is you can't be working when you file it took me 4 yrs to get mine. My husband on the other hand he retired early due to his failing health in May 20 13 he finally got his in Nov 2014, but be prepared to be told you may be disabled you just don't meet their qualifications of dialed at least 2-3 times, when you see the Judge they may tell you well you can work taking tickets some where when you may not be able to stand or sit for 10 min at a time. I think us talking to my husband's Dr about him helping him that he got his as soon as he did. Be sure you get every test every Dr you have ever seen all of your medical records. Keep copies, and find you a good Lawyer to help you not from TV but talk to people and find you a good one. Best of luck will be praying fo you.

May 25, 2015 9:29 PM

Hello FlappysLady81, thank you for your information and time to share with me your long battle to get SSD. I'm aware that it is a long road to get SSD. May the Lord be with us all.

May 26, 2015 7:11 AM

Hanginginthere, I just don't want you or anyone to feel guilty if we come to that point of needing to apply. It really bothered me at first, but as my health continues to deteriorate it's been easier to come to terms with it. After all, isn't that why we paid taxes for it. It's a meager income but every little bit helps. Look at your county or city website to see what services they offer, and apply for assistance with utility companies too. Good luck & Good bless! 🙏🌼

Jun 01, 2015 8:45 AM

Would love an update of this.

Jun 03, 2015 5:19 AM

All the advice that has been given has been really good and it looks like you have taken advantage of what I think is the charity at the hospital. Sometimes, you can go to the medical university hospital of your state and get even better care. Something that would really be awesome but I thought would be hard to do with your family size would be if you could possibly stay with someone for a couple of months so you could apply for so many services like:

Food stamps (even if is a substantial increase if you have them already)
Salvation Army helps with power bills I think twice a year
Free Prescription Programs (If you don't have insurance)
I don't know if you can get welfare for a while

When it comes to using these services, like it has been said, we need to ask. We also need to be humble. Some people would never accept such things because they don't want to be known for using them. But they were originally put there as acts of mercy, not as they are so commonly used for today. Plus it sounds like you have always worked and worked hard for your family. This is why you pay your taxes. Also, you should go visit you county social worker. They are usually a wealth of information on programs that may be available to you. Sometimes there are grants for programs we have never ever heard about.

About your work, if you are not able to give it up now. With my back problem which in no way sound as complicated as yours, I find that I have to constantly change positions. I have to stand, sit, lay down. I know you won't be able to lay down, but if your boss allowed you to change positions, would this give you some comfort? Would a T.E.N.S unit while you work give you some comfort or would it compromise your safety? I know the best situation is not work. I hate this for you. I had an accident and got disability right away. I feel for those who have to fight so hard for it. I did have to fight for it a couple of years ago when they threatened to take it away. I hope things work out that you can get some help you need and relief. Pray. Even though it is hard. It will give you comfort and wisdom. He will give you guidance and some relief.

Jun 03, 2015 6:02 AM

Also, talk to a disability advocate/lawyer. They will be able to help u determine if u can get SSDI. If they think you have a chance, see if your church can help your family if you have to quit your job so that you can get SSDI. Remember that you can probly get Medicaid for yourself and your spouse, and there is usually a state funded insurance for children. Go after SSI as well. It's additional $$ that will help. Definitely check out your states webpage for any help they have to offer as well.

And if u do go for SSDI, don't get discouraged if u are denied the first time. Unfortunately, this is common. You have a much higher chance of winning the second time, especially if you have an advocate.

Jun 03, 2015 7:00 AM

Thank you everyone for caring enough to try and help.
Here is an update:
My boss is allowing me to work at my own pace. That is a blessing to me there.
My wife, who has a lot of knowledge in healthy eating, has asked if I would go on a cleansing diet for two weeks before I go rack up huge medical bills. I'm on week one and have lost weight but have no reduction in lower back pain and leg weakness, numbness, and pain. But right are pain is down but not the left arm pain and numbness. BP is down from 145/98 to 132/85.
My father has a nice house we will be moving to in August. This will knock our overhead costs down to $1250. Now that is a blessing also. So if my wife would have to get a job we might be able to make enough to pay bills. But this also means I will need to find new job because my father lives 2 1/2 hours from where I live now. Trying to get a job at the local hospital as a X-ray tech or sterilization tech. Both are well suited for my back. May the Lord's will be done on that.
My church has told me if I am not able to pay bills that they would try and pay what they could to help us out. Another blessing.
Once again thank you all for the information.

Jun 03, 2015 7:09 AM

LIke Amie said, don't be discouraged if you are denied the first time. I think it is at least policyto deny someone on the first time unless you are terminal or someone like me who couldn't walk or drive for so long. I think that is there way of weeding out the serious ones. Unfortunately for you, I think that may be true. People who are not seriously disabled are not willing to do the hard work again to try to fight for it after they have been denied. They feel like it is a losing battle. I think you just really have to know in your mind and heart that you are disabled. And that is where a lawyer can really help.He would not take your case unless he thinks you are disabled. Using a lawyer will take away some of the money that you will get from backpay but it might guarentee your win. He would know what specialist information you need or should pursue. He may know how you should answer on your forms. He would know what you should focus on and say when and if you appear before a disability judge. People have fared better with a lawyer. Just sayin.

Jun 03, 2015 12:41 PM

@hanging - I think good Karma has come upon u. So far it's all good news! Gratz!!

Jun 03, 2015 4:05 PM

Hanginginthere, that's great. What a blessing! 🙏🌼

Jun 03, 2015 6:51 PM

Things are looking up. I am happy for you. From a cardiac standpoint congrats on your new healthier blood pressure. That is a great accomplishment!

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