So my boyfriend is hosting a poker game for his birthday. He did ask everyone to be scent free in the email where he invited everyone. But apparently no one listened. Well thats not entirely true, most people use scented laundry and bath products but some are trying like my brother who asked for lotion when he came over so he wouldn't use something that made me sick. But there are a few that came in wearing cologne.
I turned on the ionizing air purifier on the main floor by the top of the stairs. I got the boyfriend to open windows (it's well below freezing) and make me tea and water bottles and i grabbed some stuff for sleeping and ran to the basement. I have a little air purifier running in the room im going to sleep in and have all the doors closed that i can. This is probably the only time I've ever been upset with having an open concept home. The damn cologne is wafting down the stairs (the poker game is in the opposite end of the house from the stairs). I'm shaking so bad and wanting to cry but i don't want to ruin his birthday by "being overly dramatic" and screaming at people like i feel they need to be screamed at. It's so nasty that i have to wear my mask if i leave the room I've locked myself in.
I don't think I'll be able to safely go upstairs tomorrow. I'm going to have to invest in a steam cleaner so that i can try to get it off my chairs, and that'll probably take me months.
I wish rage wasnt my first reaction to chemicals, but it is and that makes it really hard to get my point across in a way that people will listen too.
I actually almost started crying when my dad's girlfriend asked how i was doing, this will be the third time I've ever seen her, i hate crying.
Fuck i hate my life. Why can't i be close to normal?