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Can't take much more

Dec 23, 2015 6:12 PM

This month has been trying to say the least, I am tired as I haven't slept in over two weeks now, seeing my Aunt like she is now and trying to stay strong for the kids and my aunt, I can't take much more seeing her like this, I had to lock myself in the bathroom to keep them from seeing me cry. She has done so much for my kids and I and I feel like I am letting her down because their isn't a thing I can do to make her feel better or make her better, maybe it'd the sleep deprivation making so crazy emotional I just don't know anymore.

Dec 23, 2015 6:23 PM

I am so sorry for your pain. Nothing is worse then wTching a loved one suffer and on. Top of it you have your health issues. It's all building on top of each h other.
I don't have much comfort other than to say please just take a moment and think of all the good times and enjoy every moment you have with her now. You are not letting anyone down you are giving your all in this position and its being seen by all..
Please try and rest of u have some medince yiubcan take or even a glass of wine.. Ha.. Whatever it takes just rest .

Dec 23, 2015 9:09 PM

Moparmom, I wish I could reach out and hold you and let you cry out your grief. You are not letting anyone down. You are giving everything you have and more to try and keep your aunt as comfortable and at peace as possible. It's OK to let others see you cry, especially your children. It helps them to know it's ok to cry, and its a normal reaction to grief & sorrow. I do understand how hard what you are doing & going through is, for you and for your family. And as hard as it is, only God knows why she is still with you. My father in law held out nearly 6 weeks from cancer, and it was very painful to watch. My mother suffered for over 7 months, in & out of the hospital before she died. I can remember praying and asking for Him to have mercy and take her home, many times the last 2 weeks. But the night she died I was begging Him to give me enough time to get to say goodbye, nearly 2 hours away, and I barely made it there. My heart aches for you. I'm praying to ask God to give you strength, and courage, and calm to see her through to the end. And I'm sending you (((hugs))) & a shoulder to cry on if you need to talk. 🙂🙏🌼

You can reach me at flappyslady81@yahoo.com.

Dec 24, 2015 9:53 AM

Moparmom, I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to be trying to take care of your Aunt and the kids and yourself and everything else. I understand locking yourself in the bathroom so your children don't see you crying. I know you don't want to upset them. You have NOT failed your Aunt in any way shape or form. Unfortunately, she is deteriorating and you have done everything in your power to keep her comfortable, to make sure she had what she needs every day and that you have hospice coming in to help you even further. I know you said she had done so much for you and your children. Well, now you are doing the same for her. You are giving her, selfless and straight from the heart loving care. I wish that I was there so I could put my arms around you and give you a big hug. I wish there was a way to bring you true serenity and comfort. I pray that you can get some rest. For you need me, you've got my email address and I'll be but a keystroke away. Sending well wishes, gentle {{{Hugs}}} and prayers. 💕🙏🏻🌻

Dec 24, 2015 10:30 AM

Moparmom, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can tell from the previous post and the fact that you are taking care of your aunt, she must be a very special lady to you. I am sorry that she is going through pain and suffering.

You being a caregiver all the time is hard work. I recently read a article on caregivers. Well it was over two years ago so that is not recent. But it was telling them that they need to rejuvenate themselves in order to be any use to the person they are caring for. I am not saying you are useless. But you sound like you are exhausted. Not sleeping well for two weeks. I would be a zombie. So maybe you should find a way to get Some quality sleep. Before the sleep, do some biofeedback to make your whole body relax and numb like. But I think it would make you feel better about the care you are giving even though I am sure you are doing a good job. But with some sleep, you mind will feel clearer and you will know you are doing your best you can. You just sound like you need a little time out which will add to being a good caregiver. Caregivers need it. I wish you the best during your trying times.

Dec 24, 2015 2:13 PM

Well, I didn't want to but, I have someone watching my Aunt while I go into town for a little bit. Feels good to smell fresh air! Aunt has been sleeping all day so I don't think she will give any trouble to anyone. Merry Christmas all and I pray that it's pain free! 🎄🎅🎁❄⛄💕

Dec 24, 2015 4:22 PM

Moparmom, I am happy and relieved to know you got a break and utilizedbthose special people in your life to sit with your Aunt. You hang tough girl okay?! Talk later. Love and Blessings, Terri

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