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Christmas Blues

Dec 24, 2015 3:47 PM

I'm hoping you all have a wonderful holiday!

Feeling a bit strange right now, my mums birthday is today, which brings back ugly memories but I'm trying to stay peppy. My sister's avoiding my family, and staying at our Godmother's house for some undefined amount of time. Yeah, she's avoiding us. We have been invited to a couple events with my grandparents, but it seems really stressful right now, just imagining going is making me sick, but they seem to want me there.

I suggested gong to a camp site, and making a bonfire. My roommate still hasn't seen snow. But we can't really do either right now cuz or stupid car could break down. On the good side, my dog is still with us, and we are looking into housing options. It's also kinda sunny right now, but freezing. I might go in a walk or something.

It just doesn't feel like Christmas at all. My grandma said that's normal for my age, but I just shrugged back my snarky comments. Sorry for ranting, it's just today...

Dec 24, 2015 4:27 PM

Rant on,sweetie. Yep I bet it does not feel like the normal holiday season for you. I am impressed with your desire to have a bonfire!!!! Woooohoooo! I would so be on that! So go take a walk..breath in some fresh crisp air and help your brain...Relax! It is like 70/something here , I am sweating , I have to windows and door open. Yep , winter in Texas. But I am not achy as I normally am so there is a blessing. Terri

Dec 24, 2015 6:04 PM

Thanks, went on a walk with my dog and feel a lot better now

Dec 24, 2015 6:07 PM

Cool! Enjoy your evening, watch a Christmas movie, make it special just for you.. Light a candle, snacks, snuggle with your dog. Embrace You! Merry Christmas eve,Ferret! Terri

Dec 24, 2015 8:47 PM

Ferretbandit, I'm sorry it's still stressful for you, and your sister is avoiding y'all. Try not to worry about her. Instead go visiting with your grandparents. Maybe you'll have a better time than you think. I'm very glad you still have your dog, and that you enjoyed a walk together.

I think our Christmases changed once our girls reached their teen years (no more Santa stops). And now it's even worse as empty nesters. We met my hubby's sister at the Waffle House for supper tonight; she's widowed and her kids are all gone too. In GA the Waffle House never closes and the workers passed out Christmas cards, so sweet! Our weather is still stormy on & off, and humid. One daughter's family is coming here for lunch tomorrow. Then we go to the other daughter's home Saturday (has a big family & a bigger home... Lol). Sunday everyone's going to my dad's, as this very likely will be the last Christmas he remembers everyone due to the Alzheimer's. I'm hoping it won't be too stressful on him & my stepmom.

Wishing you a calm & peaceful night's sleep, and an enjoyable time with your grandparents. (((Hugs))) & Merry Christmas! πŸ™‚πŸ™πŸŒΌπŸŽ„

Dec 25, 2015 1:19 AM

Thanks for all of your support. Yeah, I will be going to my grandparent's house tomorrow, then my other grandparents the next day. Just hoping there won't be glares around the table, I'd much rather deal with a bunch of slightly awkward but friendly family. I guess I'll just have to wait it out.

Dec 25, 2015 10:51 PM

If anyone glares at you, either pick your nose or pick your plate up and lick it! My sister did that once and suddenly everyone was laughing! (((Hugs))) πŸ™‚πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Dec 25, 2015 11:13 PM

Ferretbandit I hope you are having a lots of fun at your grandparents houses. Try not to worry about your sister it will all work out. I'm so happy that you still have your dog to go on walks with you. If it gets to u comfortable get it and go out side for a potty break,and when you get back hopefully things will have calmed down some. Sending prayers and hugs your way.

Dec 26, 2015 3:38 AM

Well, it wasn't as bad as I expected, but the anxiety was killer πŸ˜’πŸ˜¨πŸ˜” I didn't sleep much, at least during the night. Rolled around for hours in my hammock until 5 or 6, slept until 11 or 12. Got up, hugged my pup (she's 3 ,but acts kinda young anyway) ate, got dressed up. Stressed out, walked with my family (aka dad and roommate) and our dog, calmed down until it was time to go. Then we were about 20 min late (normal) but my sis did end up coming after a long talk last night. We want a lot today, and it was pretty awkward but people did their things, presents under the tree, candle light dinner, small talk and politics. It was all pretty friendly, except for a few stabbing comments, and my grandpa being really upset when he was within ten feet of my dad.

We actually came up with a secret code to know when to leave, but embed up not really needing it. It's 1:30 am here and I have a less stressful Christmas thing at 2:00 pm. I felt so glad to be home, let my dog have a big bone for Christmas, watched a movie, listened to some music. My sis is writing and I'm just happy cuz she ate chocolate today!!! πŸ˜†β€πŸ˜Š That might not seem like a big deal, but since she doesn't usually eat certain things by principle (milk, for example with the exception of rice Krispy treats) I am overjoyed.

It didn't feel much like Christmas, but it wasn't the end of the world. Then again, I did sleep through half of the day. Hoping to sleep tonight, my hammock is in the wash right now. I also played the piano earlier, which always lifts my spirits. Also kinda felt like crying cuz my mom came up in conversation, and her birthday was yesterday, and it makes me sad and melancholy depressive to think of everything...visits with her or this little tradition we used to do with Sees Candy Shops, where we'd get a sample and choose 1 or two chocolates to buy for a few dollars. Gonna see her family tomorrow, although not her. Just feels wrong somehow, strange.

Anyway, my dog,Gussie is starting at me and I think my hammock may be dry, so I'll get ready for bed now. Hope you all have a low pain night, get lots of sleep, and have a great rest of the holidays! πŸ™πŸ™‡β€

Dec 26, 2015 8:39 AM

Ferretbandit, I am so glad for you that your day was not as horrible as you thought it was going to be.
(It's nice to know that you didn't have to pick your nose or lick your plate... LOL!!😳). I am super happy that your Sister went and that she ate chocolate!! Awesome. I'm so sorry about your sadness about your Mom. It's hard as it is but at Christmas time, things like that get even harder. You are an amazingly strong young lady. I know that you are going to go far in life.. Whatever you set out to do, you'll achieve, of that I have no doubt in my mind.
I'm glad that you took the time to hang out and have your own Christmas with your dog! I'm sure it was really nice to watch a movie and snuggle up and just enjoy one another. Dogs really are amazing and they do so much for our spirit. I hope that today goes well for you. Hang in there, I know it's not going to be easy for you. I'm sending you lots of love, gentle {{{Hugs}}} and prayers that you have a wonderful day and that the stress level is minimal. Enjoy the rest of the holiday and know that your pain family loves you!πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

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