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Chronic pain advice welcomed

May 04, 2016 1:06 PM

I find I am keeping many things I keep to myself because I don't want to let my family down. I am really struggling to stay positive after over a decade of on and off bouts with pain and now constant mind numbing pain for two years. Still no diagnosis. Test after test. It is now 4am where I am and I cannot sleep. Paon med either dont work at all, make me feel sick or turn me into a zombie. I have 5 kids ages 5 to 11 (3step). They are missing out on things because I am so limited in movement. I have dark thoughts more and more often now. They are the only thing keeping me going. I have been on antidepressants but they dont do anything as the pain is still so strong. I am so desperate. Can anyone relate, I feel totally alone.

May 04, 2016 1:07 PM

I am only 29 years old. I don't want this to be the rest of my life.

May 04, 2016 1:12 PM

I am sorry you are going through this. There are many people in the community that can relate to your pain. Keep hanging on! It is hard to let your family know how much you are suffering, when you feel like you need to be strong for them. You are not alone!

May 04, 2016 1:16 PM

Im just so so tired and i feel completely useless. My son pointes out today how many times I can't do things with him and my heart broke. I also got really angry because I have no choice and no matter what I try it doesn't work. I have no answers at all. I just feel totally defeated. I have tried so hard to stay positive but how long can someome do that? I hope I can gain some extra strength by talking to people going through the same thing.

May 04, 2016 8:06 PM

Painedpolly, I'm so sorry your hurting, both physically and emotionally. I've had various chronic pain since 1992, with my first neck fusion. My daughter was only 3 when I had to teach her to climb up and down because mommy couldn't lift her; her sister was 7. I explained my pain in words they could understand (no medical jargon) and they adapted. It created a very independent little one. Lol When I had to stop working in 2010 my grandchildren were 4-11, and I used the same explanation method with them. As my granddaughter has watched my health deteriorate, she's stepping up to help wherever and however she can. Be simply honest with your kids, telling them you can't always do what they & you desperately want to, but maybe they can come up with alternate activities. My granddaughter brings her games, coloring books, etc to the table instead of the floor now. She spent a weekend recently and I wasn't feeling my best, so I read her the "spoon theory.". When I finished she came over and hugged me saying she was ok that I was having a bad day; she was just very happy because we were together. You'll find the words to help them understand. And it will probably have to be restated for years to come. But just because you can't enjoy one thing doesn't mean there won't be other things later. I'm sending you hugs and prayers. 🙂💕🙏🌼

May 04, 2016 11:04 PM

Painedpolly, I am sorry that you are In such horrible pain. One thing I would like to express is that you are NOT letting your family down. You certainly didn't ask to get sick and be in chronic pain. It can't be easy to be 29 and have 5 young children to take care of. I'm sure that you do your very best and I'm sure there are many times where you push through your pain to take your kids to events they need to attend. Know that you are not alone. This wonderful, zany, loving community is filled with people who suffer with chronic pain that makes daily life an absolute struggle. There are no judgements here, we understand because we live it right along with you. We all have different diagnosis but we all share the common ground of pain. This is a wonderful place for support, to find answers, learn things about your conditions, cry, pray, whine, laugh. We are here to hold each other up through crisis and to celebrate even the smallest of victories. You will find many great people here. This community has been a Godsend for me and I have formed many very strong friendships. I hope that you settle in with us and find the support that you need to get through this difficult time. Flappsy gave you a wonderful resource in the website for the Spoon Theory. You should definitely read it. Sending you best wishes, warm welcome, gentle {{{Hugs}}} and prayers for a better tomorrow.💕🙏🏻🌻😊

May 04, 2016 11:09 PM

I love the spoon theory. It is how I feel every day.

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