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Chronic pain and dating.......

Jan 23, 2016 2:27 PM

Hello all. I am not sure if this has ever been addressed on here, but I would like some input and/or suggestions in this area. I have been married twice before, but I am not dating anyone right now. And I kind of want to venture out into the dating scene again. However, I now have to do it with this extra baggage of fibro. How do you navigate this? Am I doomed to be alone? Because when I am tired or am in pain, I am not the nicest person to be around. And since fibro is a chronic pain condition, I am constantly in pain. Jus

Jan 23, 2016 2:33 PM

Sorry, I posted before I was finished. But what I was going to say is: just the thought of having to spend the rest of my life alone, sends in me in a depression. But I try to shake myself, and focus on the positive--my children. But I miss and long for the company of a grownup. I guess it also doesn't help that I don't have any friends. So, everyday, I am just barely making it through the day. No one calling to check in on me. I forgot to tell you that my family disowned me. So, all of that adds to my stress, which adds to my pain. I am trying to learn how to let some of this stuff go, but it is a very difficult task. Especially when I am in pain, and I just want to reach out my hand for someone to hold. Or I need a hug. I don't know. Maybe I should look at this illness as a blessing. Because who wants to be in a relationship with someone who has all of this baggage piled so high?

Jan 23, 2016 2:35 PM

First no. Ur not doomed..it may take a while to find the person for u. But you will. I can say for me I have been concerned bout this too. Ive been dating my boyfriend for seven yrs. And he has really surprised me. When I found out about all my health issues I thought he would leave me. But no he stepped up. He is not the best when it comes to seeing me in pain and has to be directed at times. But the longer I go through this the more he starts to reach and learn how to help me. I'm concerned because I moved to be near my parents so we don't see each other a lot . my point is some people just won't get it. But when u find them its gonna be good no great! I suggest u be open and honest but make sure it's someone who listens cares and is patient.

Jan 23, 2016 2:50 PM

Shortone, I'm 50 yrs old and single. I did date in my younger years but when I became totally debilitated I stopped. Most of the time I'm not even out and about unless I'm driving one of my parents to the doctor or shopping and my own doctor appointments. To answer your question, NO, you are not doomed to be alone. You have to decide how to navigate your good days and know what your limits are. If you're having a good day and you're out and about, you may meet someone. If so, make yourself a date. Have it on a day that you're feeling decent and see what happens. You may be very surprised to find a caring person who wants to date you and will be understanding about your pain and the limitations that come with it. I guess I'm lucky because no matter how badly I feel, I'm always nice to be around. (Gee, that really sounded conceded.. LOL!!!πŸ˜πŸ˜‚). But it's true. I try to keep my attitude in check because it's not anyone else's fault that I'm sick. But, that's me. Look, not to say that I am not a bitch on wheels sometimes, but for the most part, I'm pretty laid back and nice. Don't set limits on your life, set goals. You may be very happily surprised. {{{Hugs}}}πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Jan 24, 2016 3:34 PM

Shortone, just because you have chronic illnesses doesn't mean you are doomed to a life of solitude. But not everyone is able to stand by someone who is chronically ill. My suggestion is to pray that you meet the right person and that if you meet the wrong person you will know it early on. Go out and enjoy meeting new people and make some new friends. Who knows, maybe one of those new friends will turn out to be the right one. Hugs & prayers for your future? πŸ™‚πŸ™πŸŒΌπŸ’•

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