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Chronic Pain and Severe Depression.

Aug 14, 2014 1:11 AM

I have been so depressed lately. Wondering if anyone else gets this way when the pain just won't stop? for the past 2 days been looking at my house it needs to be picked up, but I physically can't do it :( it bothers me so much to look at the dishies wanting to do them, and I can't get up. I just sit and cry sometimes. I live alone and have no one willing to help me at all. Feel guilty that I can't even take my dogs for their walk and play with them. I thank God my kids are grown now because I would be unable to care for them sometimes. I feel so useless as if I am just taking up space, and am being punished for some unrealized sin. I am having more and more days like this now, but it also seems the more depressed I get over it the more I hurt, but the more I hurt the more depressed I get. no win there sigh. I have been diagnosed with 3 different pain syndromes, along with some other goodies thrown in the mix. even still in pain from a surgery a year ago that the doctor botched. I am on pain meds but they are starting to not help much anymore. Sorry for the vent just need to get it out I guess. any suggestions would be wonderful.

Aug 14, 2014 1:17 AM

I to feel this way . and I am seeing many doctors from the surgeon who did my surgery, family doctor , and physical theropist, chiropractor, and and theropist all have diagnosed me with extreme truama " PTSD" all have sent me to overview my emotions and see professional to deal with it all, stick with it and don't give up. it's so hard and things will get better mentally.

Aug 14, 2014 1:26 AM

yes see quite a few doctors myself so can relate there. neurologist, family doc, physical therapy, pain management, gastroenterologist, surgeon, mental health. all the running you would think no time for depression, but it sneaks in anyway. I truly hope things will get better mentally. I always think of how I use to be sigh. could do in minutes what now takes hours for me to do.

Aug 14, 2014 8:14 AM

Are you on any anti depressants? Pain signals give the same signals as depression to the brain. On top of true depression. I take Cymbalta and Lyrica. Prozac helped my depression better than Cymbalta but Cymbalta and Lyrica help my pain. I have a lot of breakthrough pain. I do take a low dose of Vicodan and Advil when it's bad. I've caught myself taking it for all pain. Big and small and I built a tolerance. I know remind myself it will pass sometimes save it for when it's unbearable. my fibromyalgia is extreme, I've have sat with tears and if you could see my house OMG! I cannot do my house at this moment because I've got to go to work. I've learned I have to really make choices on where my energy goes daily. I read the spoon theory and it helped a lot. Also my Dr. is so awesome. he's so careful about pain meds he cares enough for me not to go down that slippery slope. my pain warrants it but, it can ruin your life! A good Dr. is the key!

Aug 14, 2014 3:17 PM

one of my issues is fybro as well. take cymbalta but had to stop lyrica because of its side effects although it did help. now my doctor has me on savella and it seems a life saver at times. I take dilaudid for pain and yes I do find myself using it more than I should sometimes. I am going to try to do like you and remind myself it will ease. I didn't know that depression and pain signals are similar explains that part. thank you. I try to do to much I think on a day I feel half way ok but of course I pay for it after. I think it is the comments of being lazy and she has turned into a slob that make me do it. I guess I need to learn how to pace myself better on those days, and not pay attention to what others say. It is hard though and I just can't stand looking at my house on bad days. I use to be a neat freak so this really bothers me sigh. my doctor is ok but I don't think he truly believes the pain I am in daily. it is always there just veries in intensity. I went years before being diagnosed and had to go to many different doctors, a few telling me it was in my head rather than look because they didn't believe anyone could have that much pain. I am feeling somewhat better today but still depressed. what is the spoon theory? I would like to read it to see if it may be useful to me as well.

Aug 14, 2014 11:04 PM

things will get better, just got back today seeing a psychologist, along all other 6 doctors they all came to the same conclusion my truama from my incident has given me PTSD, which I thought could only happen to soldiers, but nightmares and complete sleepless nights and confusions aphas really messed me up. but to all hang in there.
good luck everybody.

Aug 15, 2014 6:15 PM

I am so sorry. I feel this way too. I had to give up all pain meds due to side effects. I can't take anti-depressants. I have no help either. I have the same feeling looking at my dirty house. I would love to have a dog because then I would have some company. I decided to look online for easy crafts to do like stickers to put on ready-made blank cards so that I can send cards to friends and neighbors. I also look at my favorite Facebook bird and dog groups for fun and friendship. I don't know these people personally but we share love for birds or dogs and can have fun. Many funny dog and cat groups on Facebook. I also lay in bed with all my books and magazines and computer and TV and phone. I try to call one person every day and tell them something funny or fun. I still cry and ask God to just let me go. But I don't feel guilty for it. Best wishes to you. We are all in this together. :)

Aug 17, 2014 5:25 PM

just joined the community here and actually glad to see I'm not alone. I have Spina Bifida and most of my life I've been in some pain or another, but when the back pain finally set in about 9 years ago things started going downhill. I too take Dilluadid. it started off as only needing it one week a month when the pain was at its worst, but now I take it multiple times a day :( finally entered therapy (and marriage counseling) a year ago because the depression was at it's all time high. I feel so guilty when the housework can't get done. I'm sometimes thankful we don't have kids because I feel guilty enough not being bake to take the dogs out during the day and play with them as much as I used to. anyone been able to learn the difference between being depressed versus just being tired and in pain and depressed from the pain? not sure if that makes sense?

Aug 18, 2014 6:44 AM

I think I understand you. I don't feel depressed. I feel sad, tired, hopeless when in pain. But then it passes and I can enjoy some things. I am always in pain so it is a matter of degrees. I do get more hopeless and sad when I have a long spell of pain and can't accomplish much beyond getting something to eat. Worse when I can't sleep. I wish I had a dog. I like to watch funny movies. And listen to audiobooks so I don't have to hold a book. I call my friends a lot. I also look at birds and dogs on Facebook since I hardly leave the house. Best wishes. Sounds like you are doing a good job despite your pain. :)

Aug 18, 2014 10:01 AM

Hello, this is my first post as your story is sincerely touching and according to the other posts so many of us can relate to your situation. Please remember that you are not alone even though you may feel that way. All around you are people who care and some of them you may not know yet. About two months ago, I met a lovely lady who has many things in common with me due to our diagnoses, she is my age (54) and just meeting for coffee to talk about how our diseases have impacted us as mothers, wives, employees (neither of us are working due to not being able to manage the pain) and has started to change my outlook and methods of managing life with such intense pain.

I met her through a program at the Arthritis Society where they have free programs including pool therapy, counselling, Physio and Occupational Therapies, Fibromyalgia classes... It was hard to go to any program as I, like you describe, was feeling very down, full of pain, could not physically do things I wanted to do and yet deep down I knew that I had to do something so I went to a class where I met people going through and experiencing physical, mental, spiritual and social concerns and problems. You may find organized programs or casual acquaintances in a similar situation very helpful.

Also, talking to your doctor or other people who are going through what you are going through to ask them what programs or services are available in your community. I find it very nice to just show up and someone has put thought and effort into such supportive programs.

Call your Priest/Pastor/Rabbi. If you don't have one, call the closest church nearby that interests you. The Church Leader should talk with you or visit you at your home, if you are comfortable with that, and will listen and offer support. They may be able to get someone from the Church to help you with some of the things you are finding hard to do right now. I get your dishes story! People love to help other people and right now you might be in need of receiving some kindness and support and that is OK.

Reach out to people in your community. Your post to us is such a great start and the suggestions given in all of the posts are wonderful for all of us. This community of chronic pain people is also always here when you can't reach others. I see such compassion in the posts and I hope you know that I care about you and share your experiences. It is by sharing that we are heard and I believe that people want to help when we are in need. My thoughts are with you!

Val

Aug 19, 2014 8:18 AM

If the Lyrica worked for you, besides the side effects, have you tried Neurontin? it is a nerve medication too, old school, but good for people who can't take or afford Lyrica. you may want to ask your doctor about it. also, as far as pain is concerned, I have found that the 3-prong approach is the way for me. I make sure I am taking daily, an antidepressant (mine is Amitriptyline) a mild muscle relaxer (mine is Baclofen) and then the narcotic painkiller ( I am on the fentanyl patch). I'm starting to feel some bad side effects from the patches, I think that's what is causing it, but they've worked great for a few years and they are less intrusive in my life because I just put one on and then don't have to worry about taking something every 4 to 6 hours. I have a medical/genetic tolerance to narcotics, it runs in my family where even if someone has never had a narcotic before, certain ones won't work on us, even intravenously, like morphine, dilaudid etc. hope this helps!

Aug 20, 2014 11:42 AM

Thank god I have insurance...... I do pay $50 a month for it. I don't care as long as it's working. I'd pay anything to get rid of the nerve pain. I was on Gabapentin which I believe is or is like neurontin. I had too many side effects. I had no memory, I stumbled my words, stumbled while walking......I still have to work and it made it very hard. Also on top of the brain fog from fibromyalgia, I'm ADHD and I don't take medication for it because I'm already on too many. lol I dint need any help along forgetting things.

Aug 21, 2014 1:13 AM

Practically have you tried any pacing techniques?

for example take the dishes?.. no matter how many. there are.. ignore the pile just look at 1 dish or something manageable set a goal to clean that one before the day is out.. congratulate yourself on that one it's one more than yesterday! tomorrow 1 and the same for the week or how ever long it takes that 1 is too easy. next week you can add 10% more so perhaps 1 dish and 1 sock to the laundry basket per day. the week after perhaps think about how you might add a little activity for the the dogs or something even if it's small to begin with.

See if there is any one who you know, neighbour etc who is into fitness or a family who can't have pets see if they would agree to take the dogs for a walk and join them for the first part or whatever you can do. they have an excuse to (walk/foster a pet) the dogs get some excersize and you get a beginning. It sounds stupid to start and if u have 500 plates to clean what good is washing ? but as you build up each week your strength should build and as you achieve something your mental health should improve. write your goals and achievements down and when you feel like you are taking up space read your list look at how you progress from x to y.

there is something you have in life that others don't? a skill talent? singing knitting baking organising are you friendly do you understand tax? evaluate what that is see what you can do to make sure that is shared with the world that's why you are here. can't think of it yet? that's because your mind is clogged up with negativity it will come to you... (Mum?)

You may have days you don't manage it but don't beat yourself up just try again tomorrow and remind yourself that you may not be doing what others your (age, sex, position in life or whatever) are doing but you are doing more than you were! and more than some with chronic pain & you have a plan.

Aug 28, 2014 6:27 PM

hello sorry I was unable to respond until now. for some reason every time I tried app wouldn't let me sigh. I have read all your posts and will take your advice seriously. thank you all for all your support. it is good to know others care. I will respond more in a bit if the app lets me.

Aug 29, 2014 3:38 AM

I live in Scotland, gave had FM for many years now with 24/7 chronic pain throught my body, pain that can drive one to the edge. Like everyone else I've been through the mill re seeing pain specialists, psychologist, pain clinics, pain association etc etc. Ihad severe depression many moons ago and know from my own experience depression is hell on earth.

Things for me have now changed regarding living with FM, as one knows with FM it's 24/7 pain so thanks to my GP and pain specialist I receive what they call Lidnocaine infusions. This infusion has helped ease my pain big time, I get 4/5 weeks restbite thanks to this form of pain mgt. Lidnocaine is the substance that Dentists use to freeze ones mouth when having a tooth extracted. it works great for me, it doesn't kill the pain but it eases it big time. So please go to your GP and ask for Lidnocaine infusion, you can also get Lidnocaine patches, these are no use to me as I would have to cover my body with them, but for individual parts go the body they seem to do a goid job.

The only way to get what's out there is to tell your GP what you need/require.

Hope this helps.

John

Sep 02, 2014 12:18 PM

Had to go back on Gabapentin. Lyrica did not work and I gained 10 lbs. in one month! The nerve pain is through the roof. I'm hurting and suffering terribly. Nothing is helping......

Sep 08, 2014 3:42 AM

@Collin and others: If you have trouble accessing the community, please make sure you have internet connection and if you do, but it still does not work, please do not hesitate to contact us on support@catchmypain.com and explain what exactly happens. We will do our best to help.

Your CatchMyPain team

Sep 08, 2014 3:45 PM

I understand how you feel. I deal with nerve pain and back pain everyday. I have dealt with it since 2011, nonstop since having surgery. The results -damaged nerves and a bulged disk. I have good pain days and very bad wheelchair pain days. However, I made a decision not to let this constant pain beat me. If I dwell on the past, what I do not have, what I cannot do, what I should have done instead of having surgery or the constant pain I would probably be severely depressed borderline suicidal. Somethings in life you cannot change, so why dwell on it. Although, I have my days I am determined to stay positive and continue moving forward. You must put positive things in your life like music, humor, faith in God, friends, etc. My faith keeps me grounded, but on the very bad days when I cannot get up, I listen to positive music, read, study and watch movies. One the walking days, I go to the gym, do water exercise and the spa. I thank God for the positive. Additionally, I decided to take online college course since I am not working. I figured it would keep me occupied. Personally, I decided not to take daily medication (exception anti-inflammatory meds).The side effects were not worth it anymore. I did not want to have to deal with an addiction from pain meds on top of everything else. The nerve meds....the nerve meds, damaged my nerves even more (side effect). WARNING: if any of you take nerve medication and you are getting worse, its probably a side effect. Anyway, when it gets to a point of needing pain meds, I get a temporary dosage. You have to live life in the stage of life your are in, and believe me I know it's easier said then done. I used to be a perfectionist, my house had to be cleaned and everything had to be organized. Now, my goal is once a week (twice a week) on good weeks. The only thing that is cleaned daily is the kitchen. We all agreed 2 wash the dish as we eat. My husband takes up the slack with making sure the kitchen is done before bed. And for some reason, if nothing gets done, it's okay. The most important thing is you getting through the day, guilt free and in a good mood. At least that is my motto. :)) I hope you are able to move past the depression. If for some reason you need additional help, find a counselor that will help you through the depression. Medication is okay, but it's only a temporary fix. A counselor will help you work through the process of your depression and teach you techniques to overcome the depression in the future. My suggestion would be a cognitive behavior therapist/counselor.

Sep 08, 2014 7:18 PM

I feel your pain. I have had clinical depression for 8 yrs now and getting diagnosed with Fibro 7 mths ago, have just made my depression so much worse. Some days I truly wonder what my purpose is on this earth. I can't work, I can barely do housework, I'm in pain 24/7 and my Dr is trying to reduce the amt of Endone I take, which is just causing my pain to increase. I am taking Cymbalta and Lyrica and Targin, which help, but without the top up Endone, I'm in pain all the time. It's really getting me down. Motivation is zero and has been for the past 3-4 mths. I see a psychologist fortnightly which helps. Fibro is such an isolating illness. My friends no longer invite me to things cause they think I'm too sick :/ As we know, overcast and rainy days make depression worse, so I'm grateful the sun is shining more each day and the nicer weather is coming :)

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