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Dark place

Aug 21, 2017 11:49 AM

I'm cracking like a shattered porcelain doll. Nasty storm and power outage. My pain doesn't get as bad as it is except maybe once a month. I have to go to work because I don't have FMLA because I had surgery twice in the past year. I can usually just suck it up and put a smile on. Today isn't one of those days. Haven't slept in 3 days. I'm losing my mind. I've reached my limit. I don't know what to do except scream on the inside. I've gone to a dark place several times. I don't know how to deal when it's this bad. I don't have an empathetic doctor. I'm not on any pain meds because he took all his patients off Opoids. So 75mcg of fentanyl and breakthrough meds to nothing.

Aug 21, 2017 12:49 PM

Hi, Sorry your in so much pain. I Have a really non empathetic doctor too and she won't give me any opioids so I'm currently struggling on nothing. I don't know what to say really as I can't take your pain away but you've got through really bad patches before so you can get through this one.
Do you have a urgent care centre or something? You could go there and tell them how much your struggleing.
If you ever want a chat feel free to message me 🌼

Aug 21, 2017 12:58 PM

I wish I had answers, all I can say is, I've been there. I spent 4 months working full time in terrible pain before I got my Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia diagnosed. I had about 20 hydrocodone saved from a kidney stone and I rationed them to sleep. Every other night I would take 3 ibuprophine plus one precous Hydrocodone, and I would sleep for 3-5 hours and wake to my own screaming. When I ran out I went back to the emergency room where they threw more meds at me instead of trying to find a cause. During this time I continued to work full time. I was so broken mentally that I had a severe panic attack over a weekend at my parents where my body litterally felt paralyzed. After hours of coaching my mom finally got me up, and I was back at work the next day. In that moment I couldn't make myself go home. I ended up quitting that job, which I loved, and spent a year recuperating in my parents basement. It took 2 years from diagnosis to get any reasonable pain relief, and I still have low-mid daily pain, but it is so much better than those hellish months. I hope things get better soon. All we can do is keep badgering doctors until they DO something!

Aug 21, 2017 12:58 PM

I'm feeling awful for you. From fentanyl to nothing??? That's torture. Please as best you can keep your chin up and know I am praying for you. 🙏

Aug 21, 2017 1:09 PM

I'm so sorry you're having so much pain. I hope and pray you get some relief.

Aug 21, 2017 1:58 PM

I'm sorry to hear that you are having a lot of pain and that you can't take FMLA. People just don't understand unless they are in this boat and even when you try to explain sometimes they just don't want to understand. 🤔🤔 I wish you the best of luck. You can pm if you need to talk.

Sending prayers your way 🤗🤗

Aug 22, 2017 5:38 PM

Scruffycub, I too have been in a very dark place for some time. I am dealing with being alone, isolated, without docs or meds for sometime..some things that make a difference for some people:
Keep opening your curtains (It may not seem pivotal but this is important)
Make your bed: this too a simple task but a small hurdle to overcome and actually make it! Don't just pull covers to "look" as if it were made.
Something Sezzy (sorry to use you Sweets, but meaningful) suggests is write everything down like a diary or journal..you can make suggestions a to do list and then you can check it off upon completion or track progress...you get the idea..and then the hardest for me is contact with uplifting people..
Since this is the hardest for me. It's very painful when you're reminded you have no one to call for help so I'm not sure what to suggest..of course you can reach out to people on this forum...Hope these help you some..
But keep reaching out--we're just a text away..
All my best Scruff

Aug 22, 2017 11:27 PM

I'm really sorry that you feel this way! Most of us can agree that we have also had dark moments. When you have severe pain and stress its the receipt for feeling like your life is being sucked out of you. However, I tell myself that it may be extremely hard right now.. but.it will eventually ease up. I pray for those days when I'm down. When I'm laying in bed, I try to think of my son, people and things I love. It doesn't make pain go away it distracts my mind. I have anxiety, depression, PTSD and OCD. I experience the mental pain along with the physical pain. I do have meds for depression and ANXIETY. Which helps me to calm down when I'm close to the edge. Praying for you!

Aug 23, 2017 5:38 AM

Lol Spunky, if it's advice that helps people then it's all good.

ScruffyCub I wish there was more I could offer than advice 😔 being in a very dark place is hard and frustrating especially when the Dr has taken the meds that help you away, is there a possibility that he could try other pain meds that aren't opoids? Not knowing what pain you suffer means I can't make any suggestions for anything else.
Are you taking anuthing for your anxiety and depression? Maybe your doctor would prescribe something like that?
Are you looking to change your doctor for a more empathic one? Maybe they could help more with pain meds?

Yes write down everything like what pain you have, what you was able to do or not do. Writing it down could also point out any patterns like if you did someting and it made the pain worse or if the pain became a little better.

Look at supplements to see if theres anything that can help, magnesium is a good supplement as it aids a lot of functions in the body.....it aids normal nerve function, it helps with fatigue, it helps relax the muscles. I've found it has reduced the muscle twitches I get (restless leg syndrome but I get it throughout my body).

Vitamin D is another good supplement....the sunshine vitamin as its sometimes called!!! Most people with pain don't get out in the sun enough because being in pain means we can be less mobile. Vitamin D aids a lot of functions in the body like it helps reduce fatigue and it also aids in the absorption of other vitamins and minerals like calcium and iron.

If your pain is muscular then if you can soak in a hot bath with one to two cups of Epsom bath salts in it you could even add a coupe of drops of essential lavender oil to help relax your body further (hopefully it will help you sleep as well)

Does heat help ease your pain? Heating pad or blanket might help.

There is soo much more that I could put but those are the basics of what's helped me with my conditions, if you need anything then please just ask and I'll get back to you as quickly as possible 😊

Sending you positive vibes and warm healing hugs XX

Aug 23, 2017 6:39 AM

@Sezzy, "smiles" well as you know writing things down can be cathartic in so many ways as you pointed out too...
It's hard to not only deal with the none stop pain we feel whether it's soft tissue or joints but despair too. Feeling of no hope, if you can just hang on a little longer surely you'll find the right doc but everything is against you..maybe it's all your in head, (migraines aside) when reading on here so many have such horrible afflictions that seem much worse than mine!
The conditions are different but it doesn't lesson YOUR pain from whatever you're battling..it's all real!
You slipoed into darkness, it'll take a conscious effort to walk out of it...many have said they've had dark moments many times..
Someone wrote "roller coaster" of emotions which describes it.
Well, Scruffycub there are many people pulling for you. Gentle hugs and hope today better than yesterday...all my best

Aug 23, 2017 4:39 PM

I certainly can't begin to know your situation, but it sounds like you need to hunt for a new doctor. Ask friends and family and look at reviews on the internet. In addition, if your company nationwide is a certain size, there are ADA accommodations they usually have to honor. Try speaking with your Human Resources representative. I've had some of my team members get a doctors note allowing them to call in sick up to 12 days a month, and their jobs are protected. I hope this helps.

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