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Darkest Light of me.

Jun 04, 2015 12:22 PM

I'm feeling really fuked right now. Feeling nausea, really depressed and suicidal thoughts are just constantly banging against my head. I looked at my wife dazed and just ready to give up!!

I'm not sure whether it's the number of things I have to do? The medication I'm taking? The debt I'm trying to fix? The constant whinging of my 2.5 year old girl? Not sleeping at all? Unable to work?

I'm feeling soooooo fuked that this is seriously not me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm normally a positive thinker but it all happened so fast that I can't think right now!!!!! I wanna cry, run, and die!

Jun 04, 2015 1:21 PM

Octobot, you need to call your doctor if this is sudden. I can hear the stress in your message. Feeling overwhelmed and out of sorts on top of pain has made it harder for you. Have you started any new meds recently? Even if you haven't it could still be medicine related. Call your doctor before you feel any worse. Praying for you. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jun 04, 2015 7:08 PM

Not making light of your situation in any way shape or form:We have ALL been right where you are. Flappys right stress, lack of sleep and bam more pain. Today, I just feel like shit. Nothing I can pin point not sad or depressed just feel like shit. I don't even hurt as much as usual. Be selfish and give yourself permission to feel fucked then dig in and get out of the rut. Lack of sleep will start a very vicious cycle. Start there. Has there been any new medication changes? We are here for you. Let us know how we can help.

Jun 04, 2015 10:57 PM

Could part of it be that you just had the radio frequency procedure? The first one I got didn't go well, and it put me in incredible pain. I've done well with them, but that first one was very difficult. Also you traveled a great distance to have it done--and sitting and traveling after that could cause problems.

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

Jun 04, 2015 10:59 PM

You also said you just started the Lyirca. That may be contributing to your mental state... ??

Jun 05, 2015 3:14 AM

Hey guys....I'm sorry for the big freak out. This is not me normally and all of you did hit the nail.

It must have been the new medication. I was allergic to it with the puffy eyes and huge mood swing. I felt like crap after taking it first time and continued another couple of days with it. I went to see the doctor today and she said I should have just showed up at ER. I didn't feel the need as I thought it wasn't life threatening. I was wrong.

The feeling I had really hit me within about 30 mins after taking the med. I didn't think too much about it at first. It all happened so quick and never had this kind of reaction ever after taking any form of medication.

The feeling was not our usual depressed state, it was like I really really need to die and so ready for just one thing to trigger it off. It was as though someone told me my mom had passed away and I can't live without her kind of feeling. Really scared myself thinking back. Really scared the shit out of my wife. She didn't sleep but quietly just waited for me for a few hours. Till now I haven't slept yet. It's 2.30pmπŸ˜“

I just had some jabs for antiinflammtry and feeling slightly better. I have to say some suggestion like laughing it off or watching a movie really made myself take control again, many thanks for the tip, I just wasn't in the right state of mind.

I've been to that dark place once and left myself in a really deep sleep after swallowing about 20-36+ pills of panadeine forte at once. But that doesn't kill anyone for your info, I didn't know. I was passed out for 3 days. So I've been there done that. The feeling I had was very similar to what I had earlier.

Many thanks for the support given, even if I'm not real life friends with you, I felt I've known you guys for decades since I've joined.

Jun 05, 2015 5:11 AM

Octobot, I am so glad to hear this, that you found the cause and are much better! Med allergies for me, with my asthma are so bad and I'm so use to them, I have an Elli pen in the house, my purse & my car. I even taught my 8 yo granddaughter how to do it if I pass out. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jun 05, 2015 10:29 AM

Lyrica did that to me too. I was pissed off every morning because... I woke up! Not the drug for me. Glad you are doing better.

Jun 05, 2015 11:58 AM

LMB, glad I'm not the only one. Now drowning all my sorrows with alcohol. No mess taken of course. I'm taking control again and like one said, it's time to be selfish and use some me time!!! Review of situation by our local doc on Monday.

Thanks guys, if it weren't for you guys, I wouldn't know where I will be.

Getting tipsy. 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

Jun 05, 2015 12:14 PM

I meant meds!!!! Damn auto correct !!! 😱

Jun 05, 2015 3:18 PM

I said be selfish, glad you did. Sometimes we all need to be selfish. If it is for the greater good like your sanity. One of the most common and dangerous side effects of Lyrica is depression and suicidal thoughts. I am glad you figured it out quickly! Now a small lecture...alcohol makes you deppressed. Go play with your little one, mine just got married. All I did was blink and poof 2.5vis now 25. Take care :)

Jun 05, 2015 8:13 PM

I never drink when I'm sad. I don't even drink normally....I drink only when there's a cause for celebration.

My little princess is in the terrible two age.....πŸ˜ͺ you only miss the cuteness of them, don't think you would want to go back to the times when they are crying and asking you a million questions when you are resting. πŸ˜‚

Jun 05, 2015 8:22 PM

Lol... I said often, when our girls became teenagers, I'd rather go back to the terrible twos! Just wait and see. Hormones in teen girls, it's how I grew gray overnight!! Lol πŸ‘΅πŸŒΌπŸ™

Jun 05, 2015 9:37 PM

I love the terrible two's. They actually crack me up....the favorite words, no, mine, please and why. Flappys right on point wait a few years. My phone auto corrected years to tears and it would have been accurate. Adolescence a rapid period where between the ages of 13 to 17 parents can age as much as 20 years. Honest!

Jun 05, 2015 11:23 PM

I'm looking forward to the yr errible twos they can be so cute. There's this saying my moma used to tell be it goes like this when they are little they walk on your toes ,and when they get bigger they walk on your heart. This is very true,just wait love them and hold them close now because the day will come when you wish you could still do that.

Jun 17, 2015 7:31 PM

I've been doing that everyday since. Soo cute now 🌟🌟🌟🌟

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