Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

Daughter in major car accident....

Oct 20, 2016 6:32 PM

Monday late afternoon my daughter and her boyfriend were in a major car accident. They were T boned on her side. When the police arrived they thought they would be removing 2 dead bodies. The location has had many deaths because of speed, hill and difficulty knowing if someone is hitting the hill. They are both alive and recovering, THANK HEAVENS!!! He has a fractured skull from my daughter's head slamming into his because of the high impact. She has severe muscle pain along with a broken pelvic bone. Needless to say they are both traumatized but my daughter has it worse because she saw him passed out for 10-15 minutes and couldn't wake him up. On top of that she was screamed at by an older woman who was in the suv that slammed into them cursing at her, calling her every name in the book and never even asked if they were ok WHILE the emergency team was using the jaws of life to get them out....oh it gets better but my hand hurts from typinf on this tablet.

So....I've had very little sleep and been on auto pilot since Monday. My pain seemed to disappear until tonight. I'm so grateful they both are alive. Both families get along great and we are comforting each other. I dread when this is calmer because I know m5 body will collapse. New pain areas kicked in tonight and though I trial to nap, I can't fully sleep. The area they were hit, experienced drivers have died. My daughter is almost 17 and her boyfriend is 17 and is a good driver or I would not have allowed her to be a passenger. I've never seen 2 kids so worried about each other, it is heartwarming! Such a heavy week and I'm secretly falling apart inside yet ecstatic they are alive, not paralyzed, no brain damage etc. I'm exhausted and won't vent at home so am letting it out here. I don't need sympathy. ...as I have her Alive! 2 sraight A, AP students alive and that is ALL that matters to me! So I am grateful beyond belief!

Oct 20, 2016 7:01 PM

Am so thankful they are both ok. I imagine you are running on adrenaline right now. Where does your pain usually manifest? Do you do any stretching exercises? If not then perhaps try doing some if for no other reason than to help keep those muscles from tightening too much.

((((( gentle hugs ))))))

Its such a blessing to know the care these two have for each other - and that your families get along is an added bonus. As for the other driver and the lady yelling, I hope your daughter will find a way to put that behind her and not let this bitter woman have any control in her life.

My thoughts and prayers are with your daughter and her boyfriend. (and their family and medical teams(.

Hopefully the insurance companies will handle everything so no one has to personally deal with the people in that other vehicle.

Oct 20, 2016 9:37 PM

Oh no your poor daughter and her boyfriend. They're in my prayers for a speedy recovery with no lasting effects and {{{gentle hugs}}} for all of you.

Hopefully with love, understanding and a little therapy your daughter will be able to put what she saw and the woman shouting at her, behind her and not let it affect her so she can move forward and recover from the ordeal.

You need to let it out of your system as well with everything you've had to deal with this week, the panic you would have felt when you first found out, the worrying whether they had serious life threatening injuries, then the relief of finding that their injuries are serious but not life threatening.

Unfortunately when something serious like this happens your body goes on autopilot and runs on adrenaline, so you're all hyped up and you don't feel the pain because your whole fucus is making sure your daughter and her boyfriend are ok. The more they recover, your body starts to relax and the adrenaline starts to subside the pain will come back and will get worse until you're able to sleep and rest your body. I hope and pray that you won't be in too much pain once you are able stop and take a deep breath to reflect on it all.

All of you, your daughter, her boyfriend, his family and your family are all in my prayers and I'm sending you all my well wishes and warm gentle hugs xx

Oct 20, 2016 10:17 PM

QuietLight, sorry to hear about your daughter's car accident and very happy to hear that they are both Alive! I pray once the adrenaline wear's off that you won't be in to much pain. I think the stretching that mimikay suggested would help as I have had to do that this week myself once I found out my Mom and Nephew was in a car accident that fractured my Mom's lower spine and pushed the back seats to the back of the front seat's. Nephew is okay and walked away with no injuries. Lady never bothered to stop and wasn't paying attention. But like you Thanking God they are both Alive and recovering. The Stretching will help, once my adrenaline started wearing down, I tried stretching and still stretching to keep pain to a minimum. (I live over a thousand miles away from my mom and the rest of my family so I worry because I can't see). Prayer's for your daughter's recovery and her boyfriend's and both side's of your families. Gentle hug's and support coming your way as well πŸ™πŸ’–πŸŒΉ

Oct 20, 2016 10:28 PM

...it's so good to hear they are going to be ok. Be gentle with yourself... the sleep deprivation and stress may catch up with you and you have many weeks/ months ahead supporting them. Best wishes

Oct 20, 2016 10:37 PM

Thank God they are both safe. Plz pull out all your coping skills to use on your body. They are in good hands, so be gentle with yourself. πŸ™ƒ

Oct 20, 2016 11:14 PM

Hugs to you and both families. Definitely a scary experience to say the least! Please keep us informed on their recoveries!

Oct 21, 2016 4:54 AM

Wow just awful, thank God there ok blessed they have higher purposes, hugz u n sends hugz n love to yall... That's lady needs to be yelled at back :/ I reallllly hate people

Oct 21, 2016 6:21 AM

What a nightmare!!! I'm glad to hear that they are recovering and I hope that they have no lasting issues from their injuries. You are running on pure adrenaline right now and when things calm down, there's no doubt you'll be doubly exhausted and be in pain. Take your meds before it gets hold of you and as soon as you feel weary, try to go down for a nap.
Wishing your daughter and her boyfriend a speedy recovery. Sending good karma, positive vibes, well wishes and gentle {{Hugs}} your way!πŸ’•πŸ˜Š

Oct 21, 2016 6:50 AM

Wishing u much love 😚and good karma to help 🌹give u the strength to support ur daughter πŸ€—

Oct 21, 2016 8:38 AM

Sjogrenspain77 what a week. I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother! It must be eating at you not to be there. I'm sending huge but gentle hugs your way! And thank heaven they are alive too. The girl driving that hit our kids didn't stop either. I think she's going to need therapy too due to what she saw and couldn't prevent as a young driver. I'm praying for her too. My daughter had a silent break down last night and it was killing me to watch. Her friends are her greatest help and encourage her not only to drink her fluids, eat more food, but get her moving some so not to have worse problems with bedridden issues. Seeing her boyfriend is helping tremendously as it will help her process what she saw of him being passed out for so long to seeing him up and about as he only has the contusion on his head and nothing else. His presence is the best therapy she has right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you too Sjogrenspain77! This certainly has been a tough week for both of us!

Oct 21, 2016 8:41 AM

Thank you everyone! Your words mean a lot! The encouragement to keep up my stretches which normally I do daily, I barely did a few this morning so the reminder is so helpful. This auto pilot is Incredible and my husband fears the moment I breathe of what will happen. I think I will go do my stretches now as she is asleep. Thank you all so very much!πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

Oct 21, 2016 8:46 AM

MizzMonroe. I agree. That woman was beyond horrible and it's a shame that people can be so cruel. If you knew what she insinuated, and to ME her mother. I don't know if she knew it or not but after her horrific comments a calm came over me so strong I can't believe I didn't pummel her. On top of it the gossip around her high school is just as cruel and insane. Few understand that they both could have died. A T bone at 55 can kill and even the police were amazed. I hope they have that woman recorded or something. Just sheer devil lady. 😑

Oct 21, 2016 10:37 AM

It seems that people these days have such an inate ability to be cruel. Am not sure what happened to compassion. Am so sorry the rumors are flying. :( (((hugs)))

Oct 21, 2016 11:42 AM

I agree Mimikay. Apathy seems to dominate empathy at a disturbing rate!

Oct 21, 2016 2:44 PM

This is the car. I was able to contact the volunteer fire dept who was on the scene to say thank you! Seeing all the photos of the scene....I try hard not to be shaken up. So grateful!

Oct 21, 2016 5:45 PM

Wow that's awful... This woman should not be allowed to drive... Smh bless ur angels and u <3

Oct 21, 2016 6:28 PM

Quietlight, God has blessed your Family! I am happy for the "non fatal" injuries! Your body must have shut down with the incredible amount of adrenaline - watch out for magnification of your symptoms likely to follow! Be sure to see/call your primary provider to insure that you have a rescue plan for you!
I can't imagine the angst you are feeling, you are doing incredibly well! I'm glad you have a great support system! πŸ’– Many prayers and Hugs,! Keep us Posted on your and yours!! πŸ’– πŸ’–

Oct 21, 2016 6:35 PM

Thank you Mich60! Yes we have been blessed! When she was born she almost died so 2 times in her life.....I prayed for her life then and have Always trusted she'd be safe. A hand was definitely over them both!

Oct 21, 2016 6:43 PM

That's incredible that anyone survived. :0

Am a little confused on what happened. The lady that yelled at your daughter - was she the driver of the car that hit them or did that driver leave the scene? Of she wasn't in the other vehicle (and even if she was) what possible reason could she have to be yelling? And why was she allowed close enough to your daughter to be yelling. Seems like she overstepped her bounds and the police should have taken her in hand. SMH

Please take time for you to just breathe. To unwind etc. If you have a comfortable tub maybe a good soak could help?


Oct 21, 2016 6:47 PM

She was an adult passenger in the vehicle. Not sure if she was the driver's mother or not. And yes she way overstepped her boundaries. Three counties came to the scene and I wish I knew how in the hell she got close enough!

Oct 21, 2016 6:51 PM

Someone obviously was not doing their job. At least one officer should have been in charge of keeping bystanders away from the cars. :( so is your daughter and her boyfriend both home now?

Oct 21, 2016 6:52 PM

The other driver got taken by ambulance too, from my understanding. Appeared to have whiplash. 4 passengers in that car with 2 young girls who were fine, same with the woman. The girl was hysterical, so I know she is probably going through her own personal hell right now, worse than our 2. It's a BAD location and common for many fatal accidents because of that hill and angle of the corner where the stop sign is, so it is considered no fault because it was both the driver's faults. That's how it gets ruled in our state.

Oct 21, 2016 6:54 PM

Yes, they both are home. Her boyfriend stayed 1 night in the hospital and was transported to the biggest one in our area. Our daughter was able to go home that night because nothing can be done for the type of fracture she has on the pelvis. Bed rest and pain mgmt only.

Oct 21, 2016 6:57 PM

Oh, yes! Someone should have prevented that incident. Don't know who showed up first though, police, fire or ambulance as it was a mad house scene. Got pictures from the volunteer fire dept and there were many teams there at the scene.

Oct 21, 2016 6:58 PM

Ouch. I hope the pain meds help. Is she taking them on a set schedule?

Oct 22, 2016 4:21 AM

I'm glad no one loss their lives! Lots of prayers for your family. It's terrible how people treat each other. Please take care of yourself because when your body has time to catch up with you it's going to hurt. Make sure you take your meds and use every remedy that you know that may help.

Oct 22, 2016 10:04 AM

I'm sending out positive thoughts for them both, and a good dose for you as well. Rest when you can, dear.

Oct 22, 2016 10:10 AM

Glad they're home and doing ok. Will keep them in prayer. Please keep us posted on their progress.

Oct 22, 2016 10:11 AM

Thanks everyone! Mimikay, yes, she is on a set schedule for pain meds. They make her nauseous half the time though, but we get her through it with teas and vinegar in water.

Oct 22, 2016 11:08 AM

((Sending many blessings your way))

Oct 22, 2016 1:15 PM

Thank you for keeping us updated ... Been sending prayers your way since your first post ... I'm so relieved the kids are doing so well ... Hoping you are able to have restorative sleep ..

Oct 22, 2016 1:34 PM

Thank you foggurl! Thanks for your prayers!

Oct 22, 2016 11:08 PM

My mom gets nausea when she has to take pain meds. Her doctor prescribed Promethazine to take for nausea at the same time She takes the pain med. It really helps her.

Oct 23, 2016 8:07 AM

I'll have to ask her boyfriend's mother if that is what he is taking. He's on more medications due to his head wound and to prevent seizures and so on. I know he's taking an anti nausea pill too. Thanks Mimikay.

Oct 23, 2016 11:28 PM

How r your daughter and her boyfriend doing?

Oct 24, 2016 6:44 AM

Meds, I'm taking my daughter back to the hospital later as she hurt her hip trying to get up the stairs. (Alone & stubborn when I was occupied with something else & she said she wouldn't do anything with stairs w/o assistance. ..ugh!) She heard a pop and snuck back to bed without saying a word because it scared her. TEENS! I swear! Her boyfriend seems good until his meds wear off, then he gets excruciating headaches. They both will be kept home for this week and we are setting up tutors to come to our homes to help them try to catch up on school work. Problem is, my daughter is a Jr taking college level classes and at this point can't even think of studying due to her pain levels. Sigh. Another long and grueling week for all of us.

Oct 24, 2016 6:58 AM

I'm sorry. I'll be praying. Take care of yourself.

Oct 24, 2016 8:35 AM

Quiet -
Has the boyfriend had migraines before? Or bad headaches? Sometimes with pain meds you can get a rebound headache when they wear off. Excedrin Migraine might help him if he took them right when the headache begins. (I have chronic migraines and sometimes if I catch it early enough this helps). If not he might want to request a Neurologist consult to see if they can find a way to help with the headaches/migraine.

Your daughter sounds like a typical teen. :) I do hope she hasn't caused any more damage. Has she talked with her college professors about her wreck and her prognosis? Perhaps they can work out something with her. When I was in Nursing School my Mammaw fell and was in a coma due to blood clots. I had to take 2 weeks off to go across country to care for her. My teachers have me assignments to work on while away and when I got back they arranged a tutor to work with me on the hands on things as well as to catch me up on any testing I missed. Most instructors will find a way to work with you if you just explain the problem. (although there are always exceptions to that rule. )

Oct 24, 2016 12:08 PM

QuietLight, I'm sorry to hear about the accident, but so very thankful your daughter and her boyfriend did n not get killed. Is it possible the boyfriend's whiplash is from a cervical disc displacement? That could be causing the headaches (I've experience with this since 1985). If it keeps happening he really should see a neurologist. I'm sure your daughter's affected by the inconsiderate woman at the accident. Hopefully with time she can let go of that memory, so it no longer affects her. I hope here leg is not further injured. Please keep us posted. Try to take 10-15 minutes every hour or two and relax with gentle stretches. Don't let your own health go unattended or your pain will be worse. Hugs love & prayers for both families as your children heal, and you find some rest! πŸ™‚πŸ’•πŸ™πŸŒΈ

Oct 24, 2016 5:33 PM

Thank you FlappysLady81 and Mimikay. What happened with her boyfriend is my daughter's head slammed into the right side of his skull and cracked it. He's being watched by a neurosurgeon and he feels ready to go back to school Wed. She will be out another week and is now on stronger pain meds. They don't think she did more damage and told her to be very careful as she may be pulling muscles. Found out it is fractured in 2 places but they say 1 because of the location being ringed, but one is a larger fracture while the other is hairline amd stable. Today was rough and I do feel it. Trying not to collapse or complain, as I really had to strain today dealing with her wheelchair by myself for 2 appts. I'll have to stretch and soak in a hot tub tonight, that's for sure....if I don't crash. Hopefully this was the worst day of the week! Thanks for the kind words. Very appreciated!

Oct 24, 2016 6:18 PM

(((( gentle hugs ))))

Oct 24, 2016 8:32 PM

QuietLight prayers for the young lives. I wish I would of been the fire fighter that lady needed a course in if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all.

I had a very bad accident at 17.
They found minimal injuries. Back then they didn't f/u w/ test. I suffer a lot now because of it. So for your daughters sake make them do mri & X-ray before she leaves and while she's healing and after she's healed. I'm 40 and because things were not watched I suffer from things not healing properly. I have the back, neck arms and leg bones of a 70 yr women.

Please keep us updated on their recovery. Take care of yourself too. She'll need you when she comes home.

Oct 26, 2016 2:49 AM

QuietLight I am so sorry!
I still remember my accident and I know the road they have ahead of them. If there is anyway I can help please let me know hun. I hope that they recover quickly and get the care they deserve. If you can try to campaign for them to both have therapy now rather than later because it will help to prevent them getting worse and means that they can be treated for PTSD etc.

Oct 26, 2016 8:53 AM

I had a head on collision a week after I turned 40. I was filling in at the office (I had already left my job) and on the way home I was so exhausted from the pain I fell asleep at the wheel and hit someone head on at 35mph. Her airbag deployed, mine didn't. She went to the hospital, I didn't (I should have but I was on meds and thought I'd get arrested). At any rate, it was a bad accident and I was afraid to drive after that for a bit. I know I suffered injuries from the accident that didn't help the issues I already had. I know that they will be ok and with your support, they will fully heal and go on to have wonderful lives. {{{Hugs}}}πŸ’•

Oct 26, 2016 9:07 AM

Oh wow Alwayzinpain! What an experience you've had! They're doing well and luckily have awesome support systems both at home, friends & their teachers etc. 😊

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community