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Day 3

Dec 28, 2015 10:51 AM

These past few days have been so hard for me. It hurts to move around and do simple things. I'm super frustrated because I have an almost 2 year old son who doesn't understand that mommy has arthritis in her hip and a bulging disc in her back. I'm looking around the house and there's so much that needs to be done and I just can't. It really makes me feel worthless. I've worked my whole life so sitting here doing nothing is just driving me crazy! I feel like I don't contribute to anything right now. If I were a horse, someone would have already taken me out back and shot me! I hate complaining because I know others deal with far more than I do but sometimes I just need to vent. I'm so tired of being in pain all the time.

Dec 29, 2015 12:43 AM

Being in pain all the time can be overwhelming, just do things little at a time, don't try to overdo it, it will only make things worse. Praying for you and never be sorry about having to vent, we all need to do it from time to time.

Dec 29, 2015 12:59 AM

Thank you for your advice and your prayers. Makes me feel much better knowing I'm understood.

Dec 29, 2015 10:57 AM

Hi Slowmo, this might sound strange, but I am completely comforted by your "venting". I frequently have similar feelings of uselessness, especially when I think about what I used to be able to do. It is so reassuring that another person feels the same way. Thank you for sharing--I really appreciate it.

Dec 29, 2015 11:33 AM

Thank you Cajen. It's nice to know I'm not the only one either. Yesterday was a really tough day for me. Usually I can smile just looking at my son but yesterday I felt even more sad looking at him. I use to be a teacher for a day care for 11+ years. I use to jump and dance around with little ones everyday. Now, I can't even walk some days. It just breaks my heart to not be able to jump around and dance with my own son...it kills me to have him see me laying in a bed crying. I find other ways to play with him but it's just not the same. :-(

Dec 29, 2015 11:50 AM

I can't imagine being in pain AND having a little one to take care of. I hope today is better than yesterday was. 😊

Dec 29, 2015 11:51 AM

Thank you. It is. Hope you have a great day.

Dec 29, 2015 12:01 PM

Slomo, I'm so sorry that you're suffering. I know how it feels to be in that kind of pain. I had horses and was always at the barn and riding, grooming, bathing, mucking, etc.. It was my dream. I've gotten so bad that sometimes I can't get up either. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to watch your son seeing you suffer. Just know, he will get to understand and he will always love you as much as he had from the start. My nieces and nephews know that I can't do a lot and it's gotten to the point that I don't even get invited places any more. This life is not an easy one, that's for sure. Sending you gentle {{Hugs}} and prayers for a better day with less pain. πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Dec 29, 2015 12:05 PM

Thank you so much Alwayzinpain. Means a lot to me.

Dec 29, 2015 1:24 PM

Slowmo, sweet momma, I know how you feel... Listen, you are growing a little man, it is a lot of work, he will happily adapt with you as you keep involving him in ways he can understand. This will make him one heck of an understanding , well- rounded man as he grows. It's okay to let him see hour frustrations , your tears, and most important how you get up everyday and live with these debilitating disease processes. He will be phenomenal. I know you are grieving , not being able to jump around and dance like you used to... Try to grieve it and let it go... You are an amazing mother (/I just know it)/
Please chat with us and let us be with you...one mommy to another. Love and Blessings, Terri

Dec 29, 2015 3:04 PM

Oh my goodness! Thank you so much! I really needed to hear that today.

Dec 29, 2015 3:15 PM

Terri, you are a blessing all by yourself!!! (I'm going to change your name to Raya.. Raya Sunshine!!πŸ˜πŸ’•). You're awesome!

Dec 29, 2015 4:21 PM

Slowmo, I'm 54 now and have between fighting with spine DDD & OA since in my 20's. I was raising 2 small children then. My youngest had to be taught to climb into mommy's lap because I wasn't allowed to pick her up. She developed independence and a strong will at a very young age. Both my kids have compassion for others who struggle, and always come to the defense or aid of those who need it. Your son will grow to understand and be compassionate as well. Being a good mommy isn't about being perfect, because none of us can. It's not about giving him all your time either, but about what you do with that time. My children treasured quiet play and reading stories or watching movie, together, just as much as they did loud or very active play. My youngest actually required a adult 3 hour nap, and I learned to nap with her as much as my body needed it. Take every day one at a time, and rest when you're body signals you to do so. Try not to overdo it but if you do, don't beat yourself up; we all forget and overdo it here and there. And no need to apologize for venting. This is our safe zone, to vent, laugh, cry, pray, or chat together. (((Hugs))) & prayers for you to find what best world for you! πŸ™‚πŸŒΌπŸ™πŸ˜·

Dec 29, 2015 5:19 PM

<~~~~doing my (mental) Snoopy dance~~~~ just call me Raya ! Thank you for the compliment, Alwayz. Comes from the heart, love and blessings, Terri (Raya)

Dec 29, 2015 5:36 PM

FlappysLady81, thank you so much for sharing. I'm so happy I found this group. I really needed to hear this and feel like I'm not alone. I was getting very depressed there for a while. I felt like everyone around me is saying to themselves "She's too young to be going through this." In fact, I have actually been told that. My whole life has changed in just 2 years and I felt like I was in this whole that I couldn't get myself out of. No one could help me. The only one I knew understood was my dad but I didn't want him to worry so I just held all the bad thoughts in. Until finally, I found this app! Thank goodness! Thank you all for your support. It means more than you know!

Dec 29, 2015 5:36 PM

Slowmo, I also find your complaining comforting. I feel like that all the time. I have an 8 month old crawling around. I finally found a place where we all feel the same way. Noone in my family understands how much pain I'm in all day. God bless you guys!!

Dec 29, 2015 11:00 PM

Unless family or friends are going through it they cannot possibly understand. And even then, these conditions do not affect everyone the same way any more than any one medication helps everyone. We are each other's best support! πŸ™‚πŸŒΌπŸ™πŸ˜·

Dec 30, 2015 1:13 PM

Well , I did not suffer from pain while I raised my son alone. .but I did suffer depression...I worked my ass off to make sure that my son did not end up with my emotional /self esteem issues.I really do understand, now I suffer with the chronic pain and I miss out with my grandson.

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