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depressed...

Dec 19, 2014 1:50 PM

This pain can make you so freaking depressed. My shoulders ache, my arms have shooting pains in them now my hips hurt too. Plus my little boy wants to go skiing for his birthday. We have done that for him the last 3/years. I am so depressed, what am I suppose to do...not really asking y'all just sitting here crying over it. Sorry for the depressing topic...just had to let it out.

Dec 19, 2014 2:35 PM

Its ok, let it out. Crying is my steam valve ... It relieves the pressure. Its hardest when my physical limitations affect doing something with or for someone else. I'll never forget my 3 year olds face when suddenly mommy couldnt pick her up anymore. She looked sad for a moment but then reached and took my hand and said with a smile, "I'll carry you mommy." That was 23 years ago.

You didn't mention your sons age, but I would recommend telling him in simple terms that its too hard for you to participate, and suggest he invite a cousin or friend to go too, so they can skate together. You go be their cheerleader, but take a a cushion & blanket too (if needed).

Dec 19, 2014 6:23 PM

Thanks flappslady for sharing your sweet moment with your then little one. My youngest is 7. I have not told my children that I have fibromyalgia because I do not want them to worry and I guess I see it as a weakness that I'd rather not advertise. Did you tell your children when they were young?

Dec 19, 2014 8:32 PM

I know how you feel ,I love my family to piece ,but God , kids pick up on these thing be open with them , it's not weakness , if there don't know anything wrong with you than he thinks you can do normal things , my kirsty was about 7/8 when she could understand about my problems , she now 14 ,and sometimes she forget I can't do everyday things with her ,but she understand more about disabitly and so do her friends ,( we have 6 for them down stairs now ! ) as was going out to night but was to bad so could not go , gutted as can not remember last time went out !

Dec 19, 2014 10:16 PM

Blessed, yes I did try to explain my limitations back then yo her. All she really knew was her mommy couldn't always participate. Now both my children, ages 26 & 30, are developing symptoms similar to what I had back then and they really understand. My granddaughter, age 8, is so gentle & softhearted that when she's visiting and I'm not my best, she'll arrange pillows or move what we're doing so it's more comfortable for me. Children are really perceptive and I always felt it best to be honest, without overwhelming them with details. You might be surprised at how your son responds. And at first I felt it was being weak to tell too. But as I've gotten older, I've found educating people (especially close family & friends) to why I have limitations, alleviates hurt feelings all around. Keep it simple for children though. For instance, I told my grandchildren, "Granny can no longer get down on the floor with you to play because my joints just don't work like they're suppose to anymore." Watching me move, they now bring games to the sofa or table. It's scary admitting our weaknesses to others, but its also empowering, because we can be honest instead of making false excuses. Good luck & God bless!

Dec 19, 2014 11:23 PM

My 9 year old son asked me to quit lying to him because that was scarier. Now when I hurt bad and make a noise we have normal bad and worse than normal. I didn't realize how this was affecting him. Nothing wrong with being a snow bunny while he is skiing with a family member or friend. We all have our bad days of what we can no longer do, nothing wrong with venting. Sometimes a good cry helps to.

Dec 20, 2014 8:51 AM

Chronic pain and depression go hand in hand! I do not have any kids at age 38, and never have really wanted any. I really am impressed with how anyone with chronic pain can raise children! Children are very in tune with others more than we give them credit for, they just don't understand as well. I wonder if there are any children's books out there that help with explaining when parents have chronic pain? Check Amazon?

Dec 20, 2014 2:47 PM

Thank you everyone for sharing. You amaze me with how considerate and thoughtful each of you are, either sharing personal stories or giving advice from the heart even though you are all suffering too
I found a book called "Why does mommy hurt"
Looks just what I am looking for
Hope everyone has a peaceful evening.

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