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Depression setting in

Jan 10, 2016 3:58 PM

As I'm typing this, tears are running down my face. I'm always being taken advantage of and I can't handle it. I gave a spare key to my truck to a friend of mine in case of an emergency. If I have to go to the ER by ambulance or something like that. He has people he knows, who personally, I wouldn't be around. Somehow, they found out he has the key, and he has turned my truck into a taxi service. My tags are out on my truck because a sensor is out and I can't get it inspected till I get that fixed. He doesn't have his drivers license back. I keep telling him if he gets pulled over, my truck gets impounded. I can't afford that. They also treat it like a trash can. It doesn't matter what I say, he doesn't listen. I told him that I want the key back when he gets back. I feel like ad though, cause he is the one who gets me to the Dr and the store. I can't lift my walker or my wheelchair out of the back. This is why I am trying to get my electric wheelchair. Then I take don't need to depend on anyone. Is it wrong to get my key back, but still ask for help from him to get to the Dr or store? I'm so confused about this. God help me with this and lift this depression. I move into my own apartment in 5 days. Sorry this was so long. The pneumonia is still kicking my butt.

Jan 10, 2016 4:03 PM

I would get your key back ASAP. You have to be careful the people you put your trust in and not let them take advantage of you. You don't deserve to be treated like that at all. You should always keep the key with you and he doesn't get it unless you are there so trust can be earned back. I'm sorry you have to go through this whole you're dealing with so much already. I hope you can get it all figured out :)

Jan 10, 2016 5:44 PM

I told him when he gets back to bring me my key. There are other things that are depressing me also. I think I may call my Dr and see if he can put me back on an antidepressant. If I get medication from anyone but my pain dr my insurance company says I have multiple providers and then they won't pay for my pain meds. It's stupid, I know but we are dealing with Medicaid. I almost feel like I need to go to the hospital. I just haven't felt right since yesterday.

Jan 10, 2016 5:50 PM

That's a good sign you're willing to take care of your depression soon! Do your best to think positive things in the mean time. My dogs help me the most :) do what you think is right about going to see a doctor. I'm in the same depression boat right now, it's not easy to get past those feelings when things just keep hitting you in the face. I hope you feel better soon!

Jan 10, 2016 5:52 PM

Thanks Megan. I appreciate that.

Jan 10, 2016 6:17 PM

Ceara i think we a chronic pain warriors like to help people because we cant help ourselves dont be mad at youreself for having a big heart be happy and feel good that youre heart is beautiful but the stress you endure daily takes a toll on youre body and mind get youre antidepressant you should at least have the beauty of youre mind being stress free and than you can kick ass and get well! You were sick for long time also takes a toll! Call youre dr asap tommorow and start feeling better

Jan 10, 2016 6:20 PM

Cearea.. It sucks you have to deal with someone like this. I also agree u should get the key back. I know its probably not possible. It if u could get the truck rekeyed..because peole with that mind set to use someone in need could have had copies made. But don't worry about that ...I know your covered.. GOD has your back. Is it possible to find someone else to help u? Do u have a public transportation system for people who have accessibility issues.? I would be very cause of using him if u did not have to.. I'm hoping this works out for u

Jan 10, 2016 7:57 PM

Cearea, it isn't wrong to ask for the key back. You have him the key for emergencies, not for him to use it personally. He should give it back immediately. If he's your friend he will apologize and clean it too! With all the stress you've been under you would probably benefit from an antidepressant. You need to be resting to get over the pneumonia. Follow your instincts and go to the ER before you worsen. Hugs & prayers! πŸ˜·πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jan 10, 2016 9:12 PM

He did bring the key back and he did apologize. He also said that he would be here ASAP if I needed anything or needed to go anywhere. He also said that if I felt like I need to go to the ER, he would take me. I just feel off. I don't know how to describe it. My whole body feels as if it is one step ahead of me. Like I'm trying to catch up. My brain is confused and it's like I'm inside a maze and keep bumping up against the walls. I can't seem to find my way out. I'm scared. I haven't been this scared since my beloved soul mate passed 8 yrs ago.

Jan 10, 2016 9:35 PM

Than you should go ceara please get some axiety and depression meds! Im glad everything worked out though!

Jan 10, 2016 9:37 PM

Anxiety was so bad for me couplemonths ago couldnt breathe such a horrible thing!

Jan 10, 2016 10:43 PM

Did you get any bereavement counselling lovey? May be worth looking into if not. I lost my dad in DEC 2011, my uncle Feb 2012 and my beautiful brave mum in Aug 2013 I couldn't cope with anything, my brain was a constant muddled mess so I saw my doc who said its not depression its grieving and recommended counselling sessions. It helped a good deasl knowing I wasn't losing the plot but sadly I did need to go on asnti depressants again a few months ago as my marriage nearly failed and that was just too much with the grief and daily pain and loss of my life in a sense because I can't do what I want to do, I have to rely on others too and I hate it, I'm an emmensly proud woman and have never relied on anyone for anything but health now dictates it.I was having panics all the time even at home. I learnt one thing that helped me and that's find 5 things to look at, 4 thingsto touch 3 things yoiu can hear 2 things yoiu can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Its called grounding and helps when you start to feel anxious and you can don't anywhere. With regards to your friend allow him a blip, ask him to get the car cleaned up for when you need it , clock the milage each time you get out so you will know for certain if he has used it without permission . does he have his own car? Maybe he assumed wrongly that it would be ok to use the car whilst you weren't needing it. Did he use it to visit you or bring you items? Make clear boundaries where the car is involved and hopefully you won't have this again . mention yoiu would like it that you held onto the key and not him. Hope you can get it sorted hun last thing you need Ismore stress whilst trying to get better. Gentle hugs x

Jan 11, 2016 11:55 AM

Cearea what meds are you taking for the congestion & pneumonia? Maybe it's causing some of the mind/body feelings. You should call your doctor or go to the ER. Hugs & prayers! πŸ˜·πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jan 13, 2016 5:56 AM

Sorry it's taken me so long to answer. I am taking Vancomycin which is the only antibiotic I can take. I'm resistant to the others and allergic to Penicillin. I'm also taking Mucinex. I went to the ER. They did a Cat scan, which of course showed nothing. The first thing they told me was they needed to call my pain dr to see if they could give me pain meds. I told them I didn't want any pain meds. Once again, there was that "classification. Pissed me off. I have an appointment with my new primary care Dr on the 14th. When I got back home, I went to bed and have only awakened to take my meds and tend to bodily requests. I move on the 15th. Well to be precise, I will sit here in my son's apt while the guys take all my stuff to the new apartment. Once they have a place for me to sit, and have my TV down there so I can tell them where to put everything. This is the first time I've been awake for more than 30 min at a time. And I'm beginning to fall asleep again. Night all. Love and hugs.

Jan 13, 2016 6:09 AM

Hugs & prayers you'll be ferruling better spoon, with love! πŸ˜·πŸ™πŸŒΌπŸ’•

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