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Deprived

Jul 16, 2018 6:15 AM

I am so sleepy my body hurts and neither can it heal. I’m half sleep while posting this. I am supposed to be at dialysis right now but I only had an hour and a half of sleep. I fell asleep around 10 but couldn’t stay sleep. I fell back to sleep around 3 and then my alarm went off at 4:30. When I am at dialysis I sleep for three hours after 250mgs of benadryl and then go home and sleep until one when my home attendant arrives. Then back to sleep by 2 to go to therapy but if I don’t go back to sleep I’m groggy all day. If I am groggy all day and I do go to sleep at night I will sleep until 4:30. Meanwhile I’m trying not sleep on my left arm where I get my dialysis but can’t sleep on my right side because of the hip and knee pain that brings me to tears some time. With the humidity and rain it intensifies my pain even more. I’m afraid to close my eyes because I feel like I’m fooling my body into getting the rest it needs so that I can feel “my normal” but I don’t close my eyes it makes that much more aware of the intensity of my pain. We all know if we don’t listen to our bodies it will force us to listen. My body will completely give out and I will sleep for 2 days straight.

I’m friggin tired!!

Jul 16, 2018 6:33 AM

I’m sorry to hear about what you are going through but you can find friends here never be afraid to open up because you are you and it might not seem like it now but you are perfect.

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