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dirty looks while using my handicapped tag on my truck

Sep 15, 2015 11:23 AM

Does anyone else experience this? I have lupus, sjogrens, asthma, interstatial lung disease and fibro. And when I park in a handicapped spot I get the dirty looks, and people shaking their heads in disapprovement. Just because I don't look handicapped. It makes me feel bad, like may under I don't deserve it. To the point I hate using it. I was just curious if this happens to others. Thank you

Sep 15, 2015 11:46 AM

When I was with my last year we used hers and people would do the same thing! Mom has degerative disc disease and some bulging disc's in her back as I do, and she has nerve problems in her left and right arms and hands. She doesn't use a cane or walker.

Ignore them because they truly don't know the reason behind your handicap sticker. Who Say's sick people have to look sick! People with depression don't, nor epilepsy or panic attacks or crones disease or lupus and not all cancer patients lose their hair or look sick all the time. So go about your day and hang your handicap sticker and don't even give those idiots a second though because you know what they are SHALLOW!

Sep 15, 2015 3:06 PM

You said it moparmom! Yes, even with a cane people look at me as it to say, "you're too young to need a handicap tag." I just ignore them. 🙏🌼

Sep 15, 2015 4:03 PM

Yes, I get dirty looks and some people have even approached me. I walk with a limp. So it really should be obvious to people because my other leg is 1 inch shorter then the other. It is funny because I am 46 years old and I am always approached by people older than I would say are 60. It appears to them that because I am not at least their age, that I should not be entitled to a handicap tag yet. That really bothers me. One time I got mad, I told them it was not an elderly tag, it was a handicap tag and if they would notice, I will be limping going into the store. I guess I could have faked that though. haha.

Sep 15, 2015 6:41 PM

Thanks everyone! It normally is the elderly and they are moving better and quicker than myself lol thanks for the good thoughts. And moparmom love your name! I'm a Mopar lover as well.

Sep 15, 2015 6:54 PM

Thank you ShariLynn, that's why I decided on the screen name. I love Mopars and I am part of a Mopar car club and I am their photographer and I have loads of fun!

Sep 15, 2015 8:39 PM

I started using the handicap tag shortly after I had a heart attack when I was 36. I was at the courthouse getting our registration renewed on our car and had a women look straight at us and remark about how these doctors needed to have their licences pulled. I just looked at her and smiled. I figure it's her problem, not mine.

What does bother me though is when someone is using the tag and they literally run into the store and then they literally run back out. I do shake my head at those people.

Sep 15, 2015 8:39 PM

I started using the handicap tag shortly after I had a heart attack when I was 36. I was at the courthouse getting our registration renewed on our car and had a women look straight at us and remark about how these doctors needed to have their licences pulled. I just looked at her and smiled. I figure it's her problem, not mine.

What does bother me though is when someone is using the tag and they literally run into the store and then they literally run back out. I do shake my head at those people.

Sep 15, 2015 8:47 PM

My tablet was being stupid and double posted.

Sep 15, 2015 8:58 PM

Honestly, I can't drive, but I have had dirty looks and people tell me off because they think I'm too young to need a cane/walker. It made me scared to ride the bus in the front, even though I needed it. I also got looks for having my foot up on a seat next to me from circulation issues. I can definitely relate, although I can't drive.

Sep 15, 2015 9:18 PM

I walk with a cane and still get dirty looks and gawd forbid I use the scooter at Walmart.

Sep 16, 2015 7:36 AM

I also get the dirty looks but am fortunate that my mum, partner and friends are all so supportive that they bolster my courage a fair bit.

Sep 16, 2015 8:38 AM

I have a handicap tag also and at one point had to use it daily..if I dont need to use it I dont because I figure someone might need the spot more than me that day but I've gotten the looks a few times and I'm sure if I really paid attention I would probably notice more dirty looks and ppl talking crap from a far. I've never had anyone approach me. I honestly don't give a crap what ppl think and I certainly don't owe anyone an explanation .. if they wanna live in my body thier more than welcome to and I can guarantee they would stay there for long! Lol

Sep 16, 2015 1:00 PM

Something to look foward to I guess. I'm just getting a handicapped tag now at 36, and I know my illnesses are invisible. I've had dirty looks before when using wheelchairs when my mobility was awful due to crippling pelvic pain and sciatica, but I'm sure this will be worse. Joy.

Sep 16, 2015 6:50 PM

I have handicapped plates on my Smart Car that is covered in big Smileys, I get dirty looks and even had a family member say I have it because I am lazy, I just look at them and tell them I hope you are never in my shoes, and move on. I do have a friend that has a card with a list of all the invisible reasons a person would have a placard and at bottom it says, at least we aren't stupid like you! I think that doesn't help educate the average uniformed person.

Sep 16, 2015 7:10 PM

Yes, I used to get this a lot. Most of the time because I was using the scooter at Walmart before I started getting effective back pain treatment. As I was going down an aisle, I heard somebody say behind me, "she's just lazy. She don't need that." I looked at the person and said, "I f you could spend 24 hours in my shoes, you would be crying to come out of my body." Nothing else was said at that point.

Sep 16, 2015 7:52 PM

Good for you! If we don't speak up, how will they learn?

Sep 16, 2015 9:01 PM

All the time. I just hold mine upto them if they look, like an FBI Badge lol xx

Sep 17, 2015 12:14 AM

Those are the people that I ask to get me the shopping cart so I won't have to drag the walker out ."oh thank you for looking my way, do you mind getting me a cart so I won't fall trying to manuver my walker out of my back seat." I don't lie its what I say, or if going back to the car and someones does it i say the reverse and get them to put the cart up. LOL

Sep 17, 2015 12:18 AM

Me and my mom have the same thing going on and I just had surgery for the second time on my right knee

Sep 17, 2015 2:11 AM

I have only had mine just over a year and i get it. even had a guy come into a store i was in and said he was having it towed from handicap spot. My place card won't fit on my mirror so the person at dept of licensing said to place it on dash on driver side. I tuck it in the the window frame so it is clearly visable. I have fibromyalgia along with moderate spinal stenosis, arthritis in my spine, spondylitis and a t11/12 and c6/7 herniated disc, cluster headaches and so on and so forth. I am 46 and my husband 45 I am guessing they think there is an age limit for handicap issues. The pain keeps me from driving so I have to have my husband drive me in my vehicle and he really gets nasty looks but he is 6'4" so far no one has said a word. I would rather have them politely ask so I could just say my doctor prescribed it due to mobility issues. Sometimes I seem ok and after a few minutes of walking I am practically in tears and others I can make it home but hurt so bad I am out of it the rest of the day. On the other side of that I had a lady with a place card on her car cut me off and take the last handicap space and then ran into the store. Which I am sure has made these insensitive jerks give us dirty looks. Hold your head high and ignore them, it is their problem not yours. Sometimes easier said then done but if they really had an issue they would call the cops or have the business look into it.

Sep 17, 2015 9:04 AM

When I got my handicapped tag (hand in mirror), I also purchased the license plate. It goes on my car and my hubby had the having tag. 🙏🌼

Sep 17, 2015 9:59 AM

When I got my handicapped tags, I was only 37. I am now 50 and still get people giving me looks when I pull into a spot. Because I have issues with BOTH knees and my back, I don't really limp so folks look at me like I'm taking the spot from someone else. If I'm not feeling too badly, I will leave the spot vacant and use a regular spot. If I'm real hurting and don't think I can walk that far, I will utilize the spaces. It all goes back to the same old thing... If you don't look "sick" or "hurt" to people, they put their noses in the air with disgust!!! I was with my friend once and went to a fair. The parking was over a mile away and you either had to walk or wait for a shuttle. Well, I turned into the facility and the person directing traffic pointed to the turnoff and I pointed to the front of the truck and he waved me through. When I got to the actual parking lot right at the gates of the facility, yet another guy stopped me. When I pointed to the front of my truck, he had the audacity to come over to my window, put his head IN my open window and look me up and down and tell me I didn't "look" handicapped. I asked him what a handicapped person was supposed to look like and he said not like you!! So I told him, as I was closing my window on his throat, that if he didn't move (and move quickly) that HE was going to be handicapped. When we drove away, my friend said, Good for you!!! She was laughing so hard, I thought she was going to have an accident... LOL!!

Sep 17, 2015 10:50 AM

I would have loved to seen that AlwayZ! Lol🙏🌼

Sep 17, 2015 10:53 AM

Oh, I was livid.. I never saw someone pull their head away from a window so fast in my life!!! LOL!! 😊

Sep 17, 2015 11:51 AM

That was amazing Always, good for you!

Sep 17, 2015 1:00 PM

I also have a handicapped card that hangs on my rear view mirror. To be honest with all of you, I don't even pay attention to the people that are looking and talking behind my back. I have never been approached, but if I ever do, I plan on giving them a list of all 19 things I've been diagnosed with and tell them to go look them all up to see if they think they would need a handicapped card if they were in my situation!!!
I know this might sound terrible, but sometimes you have to get hard with people that think they know the best things for you…(especially when they don't even know you personally!)
I just don't have time for people like that, and neither should anyone with any kind of disability. We have enough to deal with already! We shouldn't have to deal with this… Hugs to all! :)

Sep 17, 2015 1:06 PM

People are judgemental and its human nature. I don't have a card but I do see people whom seems ok but have the sticker and parked there, walked normal and everything. I'm like hmmm......but until I've been in pain for such a period of time and understand that we don't need to look sick to be sick, I just don't judge anymore.

I give people the envy look when they are doing something they like ...like sports....I loved my sports.

Sep 17, 2015 1:07 PM

I don't look for their looks or comments, but when they are so bold that I do notice I say something. I take it as a chance to help someone understand, disabilities see no color, age, race, or anything. I have helped anything couple people and to me that makes it worth it. If me taking anything few minutes of my time to make it easier for the next person, well that's my purpose and I'm happy to do so.

Jul 26, 2016 2:49 AM

I have a back fracture and although I walk a little stiff, nothing else indicates I'm injured. Looks make me want to plaster my CT scan on my back just so people stop judging.

Jul 26, 2016 3:08 AM

I have learned there is too much anger and ignorance in the world... so i like to get out of my car... and call out in a loudly fashion...
"...WOULD U LIKE TO DANCE???... hold on i will just get my crutches!"
Hehehe... it usually makes them feel three inches tall!

Jul 26, 2016 5:17 AM

Unfortunately yes, I get it too. Especially at first, I'm overweight and young and I got the oh she so fat she can't even walk look. And it hurts . If only they knew my stomach girth is from massive tumors. Now, I will say that as time has gone on. The looks got better or with I stopped caring. Once your community get use to you and once you begin to realize you deserve the help your getting from your tag and any other aids u need then it will get easier. Please use your Aids. Don't let ignorance stop you nor hurt you.

Jul 26, 2016 9:11 AM

Honey, don't let other's ignorance cause you to feel embarrassed or ashamed for using your handicap card. This is one of those issues that really burns me up. I can't stand for someone who hasn't a clue what we deal with to just assume that we are lazy or selfish for using it! Like you and most all of us here, I have an invisible illness. And if I choose to use my card for the handicap parking spot, I may be able to walk in but may struggle with overwhelming pain to get through a store and back to my car. There have been times that I have had to call for someone to come get me while in there!
I very rarely drive anymore, but when I do, you can bet that if I need that spot, I will park there!!
Shame on those who shame others when they have no knowledge of that person's illness!

Jul 26, 2016 9:22 AM

I am 37 and have had 3 different people verbally harrass me, the first time I was 27 years old. I defended myself all 3 times, cried after 2 times, called the police every time because they literally were harassing me (blocking me, waiting for me, following me). One time, I was getting my child out of my car and had not even gotten my cane-chair or started walking yet. Another time was one of those people who ran in and out. It's a really terrible feeling but one of the realities of having an invisible illness(es). People think they are being vigilantes but are ignorant and rude. I printed a sign that I place on my dash. I will post it later today. The world is a hard place. Stay strong!

Jul 26, 2016 9:33 AM

I have a pass too and so far I haven't had anyone say anything. If they ever were too I'd use it to educate them. I wish the passes didn't have pictures of wheelchairs on them. That feeds the stereo type. You'd think since we have to go through a doc for a pass people wouldn't feel need to judge but they do.

Jul 26, 2016 10:29 AM

Gibber, I agree. I wish there could be some way to change the picture to a ribbon instead.

Jul 26, 2016 10:59 PM

I got rear-ended today :( not a hard bump, but now I have a sore neck and fear of my RSD spreading. The lady tried to change the name she told me, not give info, would have driven off if I hadn't called police to take a report. At least no one yelled at me for being disabled. Ok, what i wrote on my sign is: "Yes, I have an invisible illness and have a valid placard to use this space. No, I may not look like I am ill. Please keep your judgements to yourself. If you would like to ask me personal questions or feel the need to get more information, you may use common courtesy, offer your help, or call the local authority."
I guess it helps me feel like I am a tiny bit protected from the next potential rude inconsiderate ignorant person but that kind of person probably would not read my sign anyways. I might give a copy to the next person who harrasses me, especially if I am again with one of my kids. These people have no clue how fortunate they are that they don't have chronic pain or illness.

Jul 26, 2016 11:42 PM

Sadly yes I have experienced this. Once a woman stopped in front of our car and watched me get out and walk to the back of our car where my mom was putting my chair and battery onto my mobility scooter. People have literally looked at me trying to figure out if I'm just fat and lazy or if I'm truly disabled. I hate being stared at. Seriously if your curious to know why a young woman who looks fine is using a placard just come up and say"excuse me ma'am I am not trying to be rude or offend you but I was curious to know why you use a placard." Ask me why I walk a little hunched over with a slight limp. It's okay to ask me why I'm using a scooter. Heck kids can even ask me!

Jul 26, 2016 11:56 PM

Seriously, these people go out of their way to be jerks. If I fight back or stand up for myself, I feel defeated. If I don't, I still feel awful. I'm sorry you and all of us have felt judged. Sometimes I feel emotionally stronger and may be able to ignore or not care as much in the future.

Jul 27, 2016 2:46 PM

Invisiblepain28 I am so sorry that you were rear ended and I pray that your RSD does not spread. I've had 30 surgeries and it has spread to EVERY area I've had surgery and it's a nightmare. I hope the injury wasn't bad enough to cause tremendous pain and I'll pray that it heals quickly and completely. {{{Hugs}}}💕🙏🏻🌻😊

Jul 27, 2016 5:41 PM

Hello pain people with placards! 💖Invisiblepain28, I am so sorry someone rear ended you. And that they tried to dodge the consequences of their inattention. I will keep you on my thoughts that you don't get sicker.
I have had what we call a handicap parking permit for about 12 years. I pay no attention to anyone giving me the nasty eyes when I park & place my permit on the rear view mirror. Having silver hair since child pretty much takes care of the dirty looks. But if I did get the nasties, it wouldn't phase me. I need the permit too much to be bothered with cry babies like them. A few years ago I decided to not use it as I was having a good day, like you wrote. I ended up passed out in the parking lot laying between my open car door & a big white van, My handbag & keys laying on the Tarmac. No one could see me due to the van. I have no idea how long I was out. It was almost 100 degrees, so I had heat bruises from the fall. I was shopping in the city that day. Now I do not give a poop about the stupids who wouldn't make an hour in my shoes! Also I stay closer to home now. It caused a fear in me to wake up like that.

Jul 27, 2016 8:26 PM

Me either Silvery! Invisiblepain, I'm so sorry to hear of your accident. I hope you aren't having additional pain today from it. My sister's been confronted by an older lady who just wanted the parking space. The woman actually called the cops, but when my sister showed the officer her permit form, the lady was the one who got lectures & embarrassed. Thankfully I've not had to go through that. Of course even my family and neighbors say I look pretty bad...lol I guess in this situation that's a good thing.

Jul 27, 2016 9:08 PM

Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers!!! I am loading up on vitamin C because I read that can help with potential pain spread. 💕💕💕

Jul 28, 2016 3:56 PM

Yes yes yes and yes. I've been known to wave my badge at people and ask them if they want to see my picture to prove it's mine. I used to feel as though I had to use my walking stick even thoigh i may not have needed to that day, just so I looked how they expected me to. People are SO judgmental and small minded. But I now realise it's their problem, bit mine. And if they're brave enough to make an issue out of it, I will happily show them my scar from my back surgery and bore them with all.my conditions and symptoms - if they're brave enough lol. Z

Aug 15, 2016 9:01 PM

How dare they do that to you, they have some balls to gauck their beady little eyes and look at people who are in debilitating pain and and treated like trash I'm in the same boat when I am using my walker people are looking at me like I'm a crying shame. You're not alone and we're alike just like 2 birds of a feather! Don't ever ever ever give up and keep doing what you're doing! Hope to hear from you soon

Aug 15, 2016 11:56 PM

Yes and I don't even use it all the time just when I'm having a bad day so those judgy people don't even know!

Aug 16, 2016 3:21 AM

Hi. I have a pretty fucked up back and struggle to walk at the best of times. I have a disability parking permit also and i sometimes get dirty looks from people. Even when im stuggling to walk away from the car. I just look at them and say "is there a problem?" or just shake my head at them. Now i have learnt to not worry about what others think as it has nothing to do with them.

Aug 16, 2016 4:39 AM

I have to apoligize because I am guilty of judging also, even though I am permenantly disabled with my back. When I have a bad day and need to park close and see someone jump out of their vehicle with a smile on their face and no visual problem I get pissed off and judge. I know that all problems are not visual but my mind triggers anger immediately. I feel strongly that just because you have a permit does not mean you should use it if your capable of parking elsewhere. Yes I am disabled but if I can park close with out taking a handicap spot then maybe someone worse off than me can use the handicap spot instead.

Aug 16, 2016 4:48 PM

I love ur honesty...🐴 its more of a defense🤗 of ur kindred folks... from the real abusers 🤔whom have no right😲 to be robbing the spot...🐪 its only human nature to look 🤔and make a fast judgement... 😉it takes balls to politely enquire if the person🐫 should be there 😤or not. I look for a badge...🐴 if there aint one... 📲i picture the car 📱on my fone 🐪in the spot... and email it to the people 😛whom own the disabled space!

Simples 🐹

Sep 03, 2016 8:53 AM

That spells honor to sociaty!!! I appreciate what you have just said and that is the truth hurts and then they don't know what it is thank you and God bless you!!!

Sep 03, 2016 3:18 PM

Im hoping to get a badge as i have fibromyalgia, and do not use any aids for walking, but ever step i take exhausts me, plus i struggle to carry anything, so getting a badge will allow me to actually go out shopping instead of shopping online. But im concerned to read of how much judgement everyone is subjected to :-/ looks like i'll have to use my brain to stand up to the judgements...i feel responses such as:

'I believe...I believe..I believe in super heros....as you clearly have xray vision to be able to judge what pain and exhaustion i have to deal with'

Or

'Google fibromyalgia....but I suppose you'd need to be able to spell it, to be able to understand its impact on someone....'

If people wish to try and pre-judge or humiliate me, they will be the ones being humiliated... He he

Sep 03, 2016 3:53 PM

My Dr did hesitate because of what other people would see ... It's not like he's driving around with me ... I have it and use it when I need to .. which is often. Been fighting the invisible long before my issues began ... My child has autism.
Generally Canadians are polite and perhaps I'm too tired too notice

I'm sorry to read about rude people.

Sep 19, 2016 10:41 AM

It is a shame that people don't recognize the values of people who are disabled they are people too people who are amongst us to be treated with equality! Disabled people are not animals they are like us they need to be respected just like us! Why they don't, I have no clue! What are those disrespectful people, I know, their animals, their stupid pecking orders and ranks like disabled people are eleventh class illegal aliens who deserve all the disrespect, that is bull**** I'm joking they need to wake up and smell the roses and recognize people who have disabilities are people too, not animals that humans like us and deserve respect just much, this is just plain evil what people do to the people who have disabilities this needs to stop right now may God bless us and give them some understanding!!??

Sep 19, 2016 1:35 PM

Don't worry about anyone else . It is what it is . I have fybromyalgia, asthma, migraines and a vestibular disorder. I don't have a disability card . I also see people that look more than able to to walk etc from a regular car space but it's none of my business. I guess people are just ignorant , they only view a disability to be an amputee or have to have a walking aid or wheelchair etc. They who give you dirty looks are doing nothing for you except for stressing you out . Ignore it 💜

Sep 19, 2016 6:56 PM

It happens to me all the time. I had my lumbar spine fused in January and I suffer from post lamenectomy syndrome throught my entire spine, among other things. It's very painful to walk some days so I have a placard. I get the worst looks from older women 60+. It seems to bother them that a young woman should use it. I've confronted a couple, asking them what thier problem is lol they never seem to have one.

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