I don't know how to my thoughts about my pain and health issues.. I feel insecure about my condition and the fact that I am really ill..
When I look at both healthy individuals and chronic ill individuals, I sometimes think that my pai can't be that bad. My health can't be so poor.. I can't see anyone who has same level of disabilities as me.
Like: no one can have so much issues at the same time and I am just to lazy to "get over it" and start working/studying..
Nobody seems to react to how poor my health is.
Even my fiancé don't show to react when I look like a pale zombie..
No tests shows anything wrong, on paper I am the picture of good health. A psychiatrist even asked me if I had a somatization disorder...
Doctors and nurses point at the psychiatric hospital, but they don't have anything to treat me for. They just have me in their papers that I don't loose my disability welfare..
I was at an eating disorder clinic and when I suddenly lost weight, they just looked at me and told me that this is nothing they can do. It is not ED..
Last week finaly two dermatologists came with some hypothetical diagnosis(sle or sjogrens), buuut I still have to wait a while before I can see the key specialist(rheumatologist)...
It helped a little to say to myself that I am not "making this up".. But still.. Can it just be something my imagination ?
Does anyone else feel this way?
After diagnosis, do you have times you feel like it can't be real?