Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

Doubters

Jan 09, 2017 9:23 PM

Today I told my history teacher I had chronic pain so I couldn't do as much work and his first question was if I slept enough and he pointed out the soda I was drinking. As if I hadn't considered that maybe yea the pain I've had for three years was just cause I'm not sleeping thanks you've solved everything wow.

My dad also later today yelled at me for not being able to do my chores because my neck hurts so badly I cannot lift my head. So I can't really stand up to help around the house. It sucks because I feel bad I don't want to make other people do my chores or get extra help with school but sometimes I just need it and it's even worse when people accuse you of just being lazy or not even trying to get better(my dad said if it was really bad I would've told him earlier but due to mental health anxiety reasons I couldn't bring myself to)

Jan 09, 2017 9:48 PM

I am.so sorry hun. One of the things everyone here has dealt with is the doubters. Hopefully once your doctor gives you a diagnosis these people will take you more seriously. ((hugs)) only someone who lives with Chronic Pain can truly understand what you go through.

This is a Letter to Normals that I have found helped some people understand better. You might also look up The Spoon Theory.

http://www.spine-health.com/forum/discussion/12437/pain/chronic-pain/letter-normals-person-chronic-pain-spoon-theory

Jan 09, 2017 10:08 PM

My dad doesn't trust anything off the Internet. He thinks that this is all brainwashing that's making me sick or neurodivergent and won't accept the spoon theory, any possible medical help (ex epsom salt baths or certain brand of migraine meds). It's super annoying especially bc he thinks google is like God and won't help me when I need hw help or anything just says to google it

Jan 09, 2017 10:14 PM

Sigh... I am so sorry. :(

Jan 09, 2017 11:13 PM

I'm soo sorry that you're dealing with this, would he listen and help if you both sat down together and you tried to explain how you're feeling and the extent of your pain?
Have you been keeping a journal of your pain, where it's located and the intensity of the pain? Also have you made a note of your feelings as well?
Maybe showing your dad that might help him see how bad you are. Also your doctor might like to see it and will help them better understand how bad or if there's any triggers that you have.
Take him to your doctors appointments so he can see that yes it's real and you need meds to get thro your day.

Jan 10, 2017 10:44 AM

Yea I use this app and one other to record my pain and I've showed him but he still just tells me I'm being lazy. Like today it's been so bad that i didn't go to school and i also couldn't fall back asleep after waking up at 6am for school so every half hour he would come into my room to tell me to just get up and get ready. Even turning on lights or opening window shades which I had said before would just make it worse because I have a very bad migraine. He gave me some naproxen and just expected that to make everything better immediately when it didn't even really help at all

Jan 10, 2017 10:58 AM

Jay, I am so sorry you are going through this! No kid should have to suffer like you are! You are in my thoughts and prayers hunni!

Jan 10, 2017 12:06 PM

Have you both actually sat down at the table and had a frank conversation about this not just show him the apps you record your pain in, he needs to hear from you that this is real and it's very crippling. If you don't feel you can sit with him on your own, is there a family member who could sit with you and maybe mediate the conversation making sure that both you and him have your chance to talk and that he actually listens to you. You will need to be brave and most importantly you need to talk to him and tell him honestly about how it affects you and how much it hurts you when he says and does the things that makes you feel worse. Tell him that he needs to go to your next doctors appointment and that he needs to listen to the doctor explain what is happening to you and how badly it affects your body.

I'm 37 next month and I had to have a similar conversation with my dad a few months back. He doesn't fully understand and still tries to guilt me into doing what he wants but he's not as bad as he was.
It is the hardest thing when family don't understand and I'm really sorry I can't help you more.
Unfortunately I think even tieing him to a chair and duct taping his mouth and making him listen to you and watching several programmes about it might or might not help him realise how bad it is.

(Please don't follow my thoughts about tieing him up....you could get into a lot of trouble!!!)

Jan 10, 2017 12:44 PM

Lol I mean I think he gets I'm in pain just not how bad it is. Like I'm supposed to have a psych appointment today and I texted him saying I can't walk without falling from dizziness and he's like oh just take some Tylenol. Like how is that supposed to help???? I've also tbh never been this bad before. I mean I've had chronic headaches every day for 3 years now but I didn't really get bad pain anywhere else all that often but this past week has been utter hell and I could barely move bc of pain especially in my neck and back. So I think the new-ness of it also makes it less believable for him. Side note how old r most ppl on here both now and when their pain started? I'm a minor(17) is that like super young?

Jan 10, 2017 1:04 PM

I was 12 when my pain really started. I am 57 now.

Jan 10, 2017 1:16 PM

That's a long time w/ pain wow. I'm glad I'm not alone with it starting at a younger age though.

Jan 10, 2017 1:27 PM

I've always suffered with my ears since I was little....ear infection after ear infection, perferrated ear drums, gromets etc...
I've had vertigo on and off all my life, even now I have it. I get it when I'm stressed or not well but my GP says this time is due to the tablets I'm on altho I've been on these tablets over a year now and haven't always had vertigo while I've been on them.
I've suffered jaw pain (I grind my teeth and clench my jaw when stressed so have damaged the left jaw joint), migraines (caused from the build up of pain from my left jaw joint) and tinitus (constantly with no break at all) I think from about 16.
Trigeminal neuralgia in the left side of my face from 35 which I haven't had a migraine since the trigeminal neuralgia onset but I'd rather have the weekly migraines than the constant neuralgia pain. I've suffered various muscle and joint pain over the years but in recent months it has got a lot worse along with everything else.
I'm going to be 37 next month.

Jan 10, 2017 3:08 PM

Jay - it is a long time. I don't remember life without pain. But you learn to live with it, you learn what is best for you, you learn when to.push yourself and when to lay low, you learn that you may live with pain But you don't have to let pain rule you. You are so much more than a pain warrior. You learn whats important in life. You learn to truly live - grasping a hold of those beautiful moments - valuing those times of laughter, understanding there is joy to be found in the simplest things and finding blessings in each and every day.

Oh and you learn how to say no - especially to the "miracle cures" so many try to sell you. That special product that can cure everything from a hangnail to brain tumors that precancerous. :0.

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community