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Drama, drama....WHY?!?

Jan 24, 2016 12:51 PM

Sorry I've been venting so much lately, this is the only place that feels safe enough to do it.
Many students at my school are in a rage because someone got expelled, but will likely be allowed to return in the future. Basically the idea is "We need change! But we have no clue what just happened." Ugh.

My friend changed schools, I need a new house, my dad just switched to a 60 hr work week, my family was meeting up on the coast and I wasn't even invited because they're basically disowning us. They say they'd take me in, but I'd lose my therapy dog to their aggressive and increasingly scary dog. She's fine without my grandfather around, but now he's retired so that's not an option.

Basically, people are opposed to my roommate and father's relationship. First "you're taking advantage of her" now "she's taking advantage of you"....get over it! We can't really share a house with an average person because DMSO males the average person gag. I don't know what will happen and it's sickening.

Our car is on its way out, only half the brakes still work. We'll be lucky to have it for a year or two. My grandparents will be kicking us out soon, we passed the deadline for my roommate to be out.

My sister won't take care of herself or her room. It smells like mold, and I'm getting worse stupid migraines. She doesn't want to live here, she's staying out the rest of us. She has a lot of mucus that she leaves lying around in cups FULL of slimy, icky, nauseating phlegm that grows mold and ants (eventually) devour. She doesn't clean them up, so the rest of us get to try not to puke or pass out while throwing/washing them out. She doesn't do it at other people's houses, just ours.

Right now, the best things in life are my family and my pup. I need her, if I lose her right now I just might die. Just writing this, tears are forming. Forging bonds along the folds in my face. Faceless.

I'm pretty sure my old "family" doesn't care anymore. They seemed pretty accepting but I guess this goes back to ancient ruins, glorified centuries buried somewhere beneath the sand washing ashore. I'm not sure they even see me anymore, except believing that my family is wrong.

I'm *****d

Jan 24, 2016 1:44 PM

Ferretbandit I am so blown away by what you are going through. I can't imagine the stress that you're under. I don't understand why your Grandparents can be so cruel as to throw you out. Also your family meeting up and not inviting you. Please don't cry, Sweetie.. I'm sending you {{{Hugs}}} please do NOT apologize for venting. You need somewhere to get your feelings out and we ARE your pain family and care deeply for you. You've been through more than your fair share of trauma and drama in your young life. Do you have any cousins or anyone that you have close to you? Do you have any friends nearby that you could bunk with? My head is spinning thinking of you having to clean up the mess your Sister is leaving around the house. I'm assuming she's not taking care of her own body either and must be pretty smelly by now. Is there not a psychiatric hospital that she can go to? If she's a minor, she has no choice if your Dad brought her and explained what was going on. The only thing I can offer you, sweetie, is my sympathy, my hand to hold, my ears to listen, my arms to hug you and my heart to pray that there is a solution to this mess that makes your life better. Sending you gentle {{{Hugs}}}πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Jan 24, 2016 3:52 PM

There's a lot about your situation I don't understand because I'm still rather new here, have my own issues, try to keep up with the board, it's hard. There's just so much pain and venting is good for you. You have to have a place where you can vent and be heard!!! So, please don't apologize.

Many of us have families that don't care, some for malicious reasons and others because they simply don't understand.

That is part of what pulls us together on this board. We usually understand each better than our families. Listening to or seeing a loved one struggle in pain all day long, each and every day literally sucks out the life force of that family member.

So, while we struggle to be humble, to be grateful and to get through just one more day, it sucks and we need to vent!!

Jan 24, 2016 5:34 PM

FerretbanditI'm so sorry that you are going thru this right now. I don't understand families these days I could never kick out any of my family if they had no where to go. Since your Dad's getting better hours on this job maybe y'all could get a small apartment somewhere that will allow you to have your service dog with you. Will keep you in my prayerssendingyouhugs.

Jan 24, 2016 6:39 PM

Always,
Thanks for being understanding. My grandparents aren't really thinking about me right now, just how they want my family gone. My only cousins live in a different state, and my friends...aren't that close, except one but her mom doesn't like me. She might need a psychiatric hospital, but I don't know where to go that we could actually pay for. We're staying at the normal doc, but now she completely ignores my home family. I'll definitely talk to my dad about it.
Donamel,
You have a good point. Family divisions do bring this community closer together. At the same time, I was hoping not to go through the family exile because of romance. I'm 15, so this is also really difficult because I can't really get a job, drive, or do much to make things better.

Jan 24, 2016 6:40 PM

Weezie, I'm definitely hopeful that we'll get an apartment, the hard part is we have a large dog (75 lbs) and although she really doesn't damage or house at all, I'm not sure what will happen somewhere else.

Jan 24, 2016 7:18 PM

Ferret, if Gussie is a therapy dog, under the ADA, She can't not be allowed to live wherever you live in terms of an apartment. That is most certainly an ADA regulation. Nor can you be required to pay a pet deposit fee.

Jan 24, 2016 7:34 PM

Sorry you are 15 years old going through changes like these. You have a special place in my heart, little one.

Jan 25, 2016 1:23 PM

Ferret, I am so sorry that you are having to go through all this and more. I really have no words. Just know that I will be praying for you. If I don't respond to your posts, know that I am always praying, as my one had seems to stay in constant pain.

I don't understand why people have problems with someone else love life, because it's not thiers to take care of. Heck my husband and I are 31 years apart and I told everyone from the get go that it was my life not thiers, and no one need me to tell me how to live it. I'll be praying for your family too! God bless you sweetie and I will be keeping tabs on your posts to see how you are doing. Prayer's love and gentle hugs! πŸ˜˜πŸ™πŸ’•

Jan 25, 2016 3:53 PM

Ferretbandit if Gussied is a service e dog she can not be denied housing with you. Go to this Web site called Sit a stay .com they have vest for service dogs as well as applications that say don't pet me I'm working, and Service Dog where you glue them to the vest. That's where I got my first vest for my service dog, sadly I have had to retire her she has arthritis in her shoulders from where she chased a car down the street and she glanced off the bumper.I hope everything works out for you sweetie. I will keep you in my prayers and sending hugs your way.

Jan 25, 2016 6:50 PM

So sorry, I misinterpreted l5 to mean 15. There's a big difference there. Spondylolithesis is when one vertebrae doesn't sit in a straight line over the one beneath it. Type three is not type one so it's more significant. I'd let someone know that you are having increased pain, whether they believe you or not. Enough if these people who are not suffering telling others they are not in pain. THEY NEED TO WALK ONE MILE IN YOUR SHOES!!!! I hope I made myself clear. It's bad enough to have to suffer in pain and then have to defend yourself on top of it is ridiculous. Guess I need to shut up now.

Jan 25, 2016 7:58 PM

Mopar,
Thanks for understanding, it makes me feel less alone. Thanks, and hugs back β€πŸ’•πŸ˜˜
Weezie,
Sadly she's not currently a service dog, more just helping me deal with anxiety and getting me to sleep at night. Hopefully we find a place that allows pets, and soon.
Donamel, huh? Different post, maybe. ... .I'm confused.

Jan 25, 2016 8:03 PM

Yes, having some brain gig. It was a response to a different post. Between having fevers, etc. lately. I'll try to do better with my next response. So, you're not the one who is confused.

Jan 25, 2016 8:13 PM

That was brain fog. This is becoming ridiculous. It's not me this time, it's predictive text.

Jan 25, 2016 8:32 PM

That's totally fine, I get brain fog all the time. ❀❀❀

Jan 26, 2016 3:35 AM

Hey Ferritbandit, I am really sorry that you have to deal with all this madness. You definitely are too young to have to deal with all these things. It is hard enough to deal with school, friends and pain. But to have to worry about where you are going to live and if you can keep your dog, the craziness with your family, that would be too much for anyone.

I don't know how you do it with your sister. If I saw one of those cups around filling up, I would be tempted to throw it on her. That is so disgusting. How are you keeping sane girl? That would go right through me. I have a weak stomach for things like that. My grandfather use to do that all the time. It grossed me out so I understand how you feel about that.

I am sorry about you being concerned about where you are going to live. That must be very scary. I imagine things just don't feel very secure right now. If you just knew that you had a place you were going to, I imagine you would feel so much better. Does you Dad talk to you about these things? Sometimes our parents don't tell us everything that they are doing. Could he be making some plans that would actually make you feel better but you don't know about them yet or does he tell you everything? I hope he has some good news for you soon. I hope you all are looking into all the different programs available for housing if you need it.

Family can be impossible. I am sorry about your grandparents. Out of love for you, they should not be kicking you out. But I am sure it has nothing to do with you personally. I am sure they love you no matter how misguided they are right now. It was really mean of the rest of the family not to invite you all to the get together. Family should be able to put their differences aside and love one another. Hopefully they will come around soon. But I feel bad about the way it affects you in the meantime.

I really wish that I could take this pain away Ferrit. I wish I could make you feel more secure. I will just hope and pray that your situation turns around and better things come your way. Best wishes to you.

Jan 26, 2016 12:41 PM

Ferretbandit, I'm just catching up to posts today. I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I definitely agree with Profiler about the cups. Gross, but she would clean them up or wear them! Ick! And I agree with AlwayZ, that your sister needs in patient help at this point. The mold may be making her sick, and you too!

I hope your dad is willing to let you know what he intends to do for a new home. It might make it easier and less stressful for both of you. It breaks my heart to hear how your family is behaving. I'm praying your dad will find a good place for you to have your dog. Hugs, love, & prayers! πŸ™‚πŸ™πŸŒΌπŸ’•

Jan 26, 2016 9:37 PM

Profiler, everything is definitely madness. I'm not too young, really, as many of my friends have...family issues, to say the least.
About my sis, I don't know either. I guess I just feel sad because we use to be choose and I'm still mourning over her rejection of me as family. It's tough, and I feel bad for parents, even if it's "just a phase". I don't know, I try to keep her door closed and if I have to, I run in, grab a cup, and run it outside. It's (sadly) not worth throwing it on her because it could contaminate the air more, and get on me. Yuck.
My dad and I are really close, so wet have talked about plans. There are no guarantees right now, though. There's the local housing program, with a minimum 2 year waiting list. But most places don't allow pets. We're thinking of saving up to buy an RV,because at least we'd have Gussie around. Other options are my roommate finds temporary housing, and we maybe be here longer (but only buys time, doesn't actually let us stay long term). Worst case, I try to convince my grandparents to let Gussie and I live in the attic. The thought makes me want to puke, but I guess I'd be fine???
I also hope they eventually come around, but I'm expecting years before that happens. Thanks for the hopeful thoughts.

Flappy, I agree my sis needs inpatient help, but the only way we can afford it is if our PCP refers us, which requires this whole process, first dealing with her anorexia, then pouring of other care until later.

Here's one thing about my dad: he has chronic pain on top of incredible ADHD, and even with a lot of meds and counseling, he's still disorganized and impulsive, and so am I. I'm also trying to be kinds organized, looking up various housing assistance organizations, as well as apartments...
Really, we won't know until last minute. It's stressful for me, but I kinda just have to deal. Oh, well. β€πŸ’•πŸ’™

Jan 29, 2016 6:07 AM

If you can get to Texas ,sweets, you and your wonderful dog are always welcome at my place! I am so sorry you and your dad are going through so much right now, You are such a strong young woman too young to be bearing the responsibilities of adults. Next, to my prayers and any comforting words I can offer ,my place is a safe place...if you ever ever need. I am not a weird old woman...just a old mama who wants to help. If you want I can try to help you find a place for you and your dad too, I mean ,I can help make phone calls , check different places ,organizations, agencies,everywhere! OK,well, pray and think about it , if you. Need my phone number you can get it from Alwayz or Amanda,even weezie I think has it. Much much love little pain warrior! Terri

Jan 29, 2016 6:25 AM

Ferret, I know I haven't been on much, but I am still Praying for you! If their is anything I can do to help please don't hesitate to ask.

Jan 30, 2016 12:00 PM

Terri, thanks. We've been talking about moving far far away from Oregon, but I am hoping to graduate from my high school. Thanks, you made me smile.

Mopar, Thanks. I have no idea what would help right now, but I'll let you know when I figure it out

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