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Even I'm surprised..

Feb 03, 2016 9:00 PM

How is it that I can be in this tyoe of pain plus emotional stress and still function.. It's no wonder my heart rate is above 130 at resting rate. I'm just kind of on over load from the appointment. Just thinking about all she said she s wants to put me on a low grade chemo treatment. Which I'm still on the fence about.
But as I'm walking around the house doing my bedtime routine.. Which is funny because I most likely won't sleep.lol ..but I'm haveing stabing painss in my class and back my hips are buckling elbow on the good arm is locking up. Mostly because the cuff the used was evil and sweezed all my love out. And I'm just thinking of all I deal with and trying to see forcing myself to go back work since money is needed. I don't really know what to think right now. I just want to be healthy again. I want this weight off I want all the side eyes a d whispering to go away. I just want me back. And the thought of having to learn to love this new person who was just thrown on me.. They say she is me but I do t know her.. I've just gotten to a point in my old life where I could say I knew who I was and its all gone..

Feb 03, 2016 9:40 PM

Newfibrogirl, gentle hugs! Does the doctor suspect you have cancer? Did she explain the pros and cons of taking the chemo, and is that your only option? I would think she'd needed to remove the tumors first, before starting you on chemo. What if it isn't cancer and you take the treatment. Have you thought of getting a second opinion? Just to make sure you are doing the only thing you can, especially if you aren't comfortable with the path she wants to take. This sounds like a very tough decision you will need to make. But don't rush into it. Pray about it, talk with others, and if needed get another opinion. You know I'm here for you, as many will be! Hugs, love, & prayers! 🙂🙏💕🌼

Feb 03, 2016 9:48 PM

Thanks ..this was my fourth opinion.. Ha.. She wants to use the chemo to try and shrink the tumors because the tumors are to large and to massive for the drs in this area to handle. I've seen three doctors in this area. And they all are scary cats.. She suggested I go back to the surgeon who did my last surgery. Which is fine but that Dr is 3 hours away . and as I mentioned in a different post. Mom wants to a Dr here at home because it is easy for her..yeah I know..but even the surgeon who did my last surgery mentioned the chemo and it was after I get the tumors out. Basically it looks like I'll be going back to her and making that drive . it's just a matter of getting everyone on. Board. And getting all thr Money needed to make it happen.

Feb 03, 2016 10:17 PM

I'll be praying for you. It will all work out. 🙂🙏💕🌼

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