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Feeling a bit down today

Jul 02, 2016 11:46 PM

I'm in so much pain today and am a bit sick of how my day depends on whether my leg feels good or bad. Everyday my pain level is 8 to 9 on a bad day and 5 on a good day. My days (before the accident) with no pain seems so far away and I've started to wonder whether I will have this for the rest of my life. No matter how much I take care of myself, the pain seems to stay. I just want to be pain free just for a day.. Sorry for the rant but I've had enough of this pain!

Jul 03, 2016 12:26 AM

I'm so sorry your life has changed this way, at least for now.
If you're like me, sometimes it seems unfair, maddening. How you feel, what you can and cannot do, how people treat you, it's all new. And it's tempting to get into a downward spiral. But You, your best self, lives.
Maybe you want to conquer this. Maybe you can create a team of people who are understanding, helpful, informative . . . and who care about you and add those who get paid to help, like docs and pt's.
Having a team dedicated to your recovery might turn things around for you. I hope so anyway.
Keep showing up. There are helpful, informative folks here 24/7 from my experience.

Jul 03, 2016 2:40 AM

Thank you @autoimmunes. Your words certainly lifted me up. I have to keep positive. Hugs

Jul 03, 2016 3:06 AM

No problem. We have to support each other.
Going to try and catch at least a couple hours sleep. But rant as much as you need. Someone here will feel less alone in their own pain or gain an insight through your words.{{hugs}}

Jul 03, 2016 6:12 AM

Hi exrock, nice to meet u...

I really miss horse riding so much! I used to teach children to ride years ago... i miss it so much... alas i can bearly walk... and dare not risk it! Iits been 20years since i rode last... i miss it more than chocolate! It is what it is tho! I have to accept and move on.

Just sharing and caring, u r never alone here tho x

Jul 03, 2016 6:27 AM

Thank you Lulabel... I used to horse ride too - was doing show jumping when I was young. I miss climbing the most tho. I used to rock climb 5 times a week... Now I'm lucky if I can have dinner in a restaurant around the corner from my place! I just had a steroid injection to my lumbar spine. Two weeks later I still have the pain. It's very debilitating and it starts playing with my mind. I just can't stand the pain anymore - it's 24/7 for the last 12 months. I missed being normal... But I am thankful that I have support here in this forum. It keeps me going and I still have hopes that I will get better. Hugs to all of you... We are in this together.

Jul 03, 2016 10:46 AM

You'll always find support here and understanding because there are so many people who have suffers the same types of issues and we all struggle with 24/7 pain. I owned 2 horses years ago and I have one now but haven't ridden in years. I will not, however, ever give up on swinging a leg over the back of my steed and feeling that feeling that is so indescribable unless you have horses coursing through your veins (like you have rock climbing coursing through yours). You'll find days that you can do the things you love. They may be few and far between but never let your pain take it completely away from you. {{{Hugs}}}πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»πŸ˜Š

Jul 03, 2016 11:38 AM

I used to have my own horse... and prior to that i taght at at stables for rides. I miss it... that feeling u describe! Oh dont ever give that up always... it gives me such Hope x

Jul 03, 2016 12:07 PM

Exrockclimber- I hear you. I wonder often if I will deal with this the rest of my life, if I will ever feel like a "normal" person again. We are never comfortable in our bodies. Some days I feel completely trapped in my own skin. But the more I think this way, the more it hurts. I have had good days, not pain free, but minimal pain, and I try to focus on those. Try your best to focus on your lesser pain days, that helps me get through the hard ones. It's like s roller coaster though. I too have made a huge lifestyle change - I miss dance incredibly. Try to find other things you like to do, that don't hurt you. Look for other loves, passions. Keep searching and don't give up. I have found that trigger point dry needle therapy has helped me quite a bit. Don't give up. We are here for you. ✌️β™₯️

Jul 03, 2016 3:23 PM

Yes, we are here for you!!! We understand the pain! β€οΈπŸ’œ

Jul 03, 2016 3:52 PM

Thank you guys - you all so wonderful! Hugs to all of you xx

Jul 05, 2016 8:48 PM

Exrockclimber, we all understand. Complain all you need to. Let it out instead of holding it in. If you don't you'll be stressed and hurt more.

I have been in multiple accidents, from falling from a slide & breaking my leg, to slipping on floors falling, and five auto accident (only 1 was my fault- for real!!). Each injury was different but the auto accidents are what's led to my spine issues. This alone has become slowly debilitating over 25 years. I think it was hardest the first year or so after each, for me to get through the pain. Sometimes it took several years to regain even part of the health lost each time. So when a non injury surgery put me out of work in 2010, it took me four years to begin accepting my life was forever changed, that nothing would ever improve, and that by now I've become handicapped. I can't tell you the number of days or hours I fought anger & depression, crying myself to sleep a lot. After raising my girls as a stay at home mom I went back to college and earned a degree, worked 10 years at awesome jobs making good money. But for what purpose except to end up like this, in debt for college loans, sitting at home struggling to take care of my own daily needs! Really? Yes, anger & depression was a big problem for me.

But as the next two years passed I was able to refocus on what I still have, my blessings, the things I can still do. And I started trying suggestions from others here to find ways of getting through without meds, coping ways that work for me. I never have a day without pain, not since 2007. On avg I stay at a 4-5, but lately my neck has creeped up to 6-8, and sometimes all over reaches that ugly 10. Thank God that isn't often!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, no one can say if their pain will always be present or not. We just have to take it a day at a time. As many injuries as I've had I got better after each one, until the next one happened. Unfortunately with the Fibro and all the other crap that jumped on board since 2010, I'm out of chances to improve like I use to...too much damage & way too many chronic pain issues battling each other. But I do the best I can even if it's just an hour's enjoyment.

Try to focus on retaining your strength & conditioned body, so you can do other things. Right now you're body needs to heal from the injury and that may take a long time. And it may always be painful. But we are all here for each other, especially days like this. (((Hugs))) Look for other easier ways to enjoy life, with resting in between. Hugs & prayers you will someday get better relief, and hopefully even return to old hobbies! πŸ™‚πŸ’•πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Aug 11, 2016 3:11 AM

Thank you flappyslady81 - I'm learning so much from you to be positive. You're an inspiration!

Aug 13, 2016 1:29 PM

Thank you. I think we all inspire each other in different ways, including you. And I'm here anytime you need a shoulder or a hand to hold. Hugs love & prayers! πŸ™‚πŸŒΈπŸ™πŸŒΈ

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