So, I have no idea how to express all of this.
My big sister is a super-active, super-mom who believes that everyone can accomplish everything if they put in the hard work and dedication. She has lost tons of weight, has 7 children, works as a school teacher and a Beachbody coach, and runs marathons on her weekends. I look up to her and love her with all of my heart, but she has never been a very empathetic (or even sympathetic) person.
I have had chronic pain for over a decade, but I have never felt like I could open up to her about my health problems. My mother is also a chronic pain sufferer--and has gone down the path of prescription medication addiction (she overdosed 4 times last year, and we nearly lost her the last time). My sister has emotionally shut off my mother since then--and always has something negative to say to me about my mother and her pain not being as bad as she says it is. I have gone through a range of emotions about my mother's addiction. I fluctuated between fear and anger and sympathy--and I have found that the best way to talk to her is through empathy and sympathy. We talk to each other on the phone a couple of times a week (complaining about our pain levels mostly)...and I know if she stops calling me she is probably having a bit of a relapse with her medications.
Because of my sister's attitude towards my mother, I am hesitant to speak of my own pain. I practice a healthy lifestyle (especially when it comes to food) and I am avoiding prescription medications until I get a definitive diagnosis. I am unable, however, to do much in terms of physical activity. I am in physical therapy twice a week, but simply walking a mile can trigger a week-long pain spike.
So here is my issue. My sister has invited me to a 5k foam/glow run on May 7th (with my wonderful nieces), and I am terrified to give an answer. She rarely invites me to anything or comes to visit me at my house, so I feel a bit obligated to take her up on her offer. I know that there is a high likelihood that I will not be in good shape after this event. Tears will most likely flow. I also have to travel out of town for a few days on the 11th-13th, and I am already preparing for the repercussions of several hours of driving/riding those days. Additionally, I start college classes on the following week. I REALLY don't want to set myself up for suffering, but I don't know how to talk to my sister about pain....I feel like a failure...