Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

Feeling down

Oct 19, 2016 8:01 AM

Painful day. My little girl been suspended again. She calls me bawling so I start bawling. In a nutshell shes very depressed and iI feel like such a failure as a mum. She has very bad self confidence she feels like life is not worh it.. I do not understand what I've done so wrong. Im showing a picture of my beautiful girl. I just don't know what to do anymore. She's the oneon the left. Could be a model😒 I'm so sad 😒😒 and it's not helping my pain

Oct 19, 2016 8:13 AM

It is in absolutely no way your fault. My mental health problems started when I was 15. Unfortunately some people develop depression, its a disease and it is hard to deal with. The best the to do now is take her to the doctor to talk about it. I will say again, you have not failed and it is not your fault.

Oct 19, 2016 8:14 AM

Thank you that means so very much πŸŒΌπŸ’œ

Oct 19, 2016 8:15 AM

Anytime. It's the truth..
I hope things get better for you

Oct 19, 2016 9:50 AM

My daughter went through some really tough times when she was 15. In the end we made the decision to take her out of school and home school her. There are some great online courses plus different home schooling groups to help with that. For her it was the right decision. She ended up getting her GED because she was so far ahead of what seniors were doing when she was just a junior.

Am so sorry your daughter is struggling with depression. Getting her in to see a doctor is really important. And having her see a therapist or someone she can talk to would be a huge help for her. My daughter fell apart after 9-11. The school showed over and over the buildings collapsing and the people jumping from the buildings. She couldn't cope with that. After going to her doctor and then to a therapist they finally determined she was suffering from PTSD. We had to switch doctors a few times before finding one's who really listened to her and the events leading up to it. One Dr. Diagnosed her with adhd. We knew that wasn't it. So be vigilant, be her advocate. Don't feel like you failed her hun. Things happen that we have no control over. Being a teenager in today's world is really tough and who knows what challenges she has been facing. Instead focus on today and on how to help her through this period in her life. She is a beautiful young lady. Will keep you both in my thoughts.

Oct 19, 2016 11:04 AM

Don't feel bad, it happens. I had similar problems when I was her age. For me, it was my age and public school that was the problem. People are terrible. I just needed to find my place in the world. I took college courses along with my homeschool classes, I had teachers that challenged me. That helped. I started volunteering to teach the bible on my free time, and I joined a sports team. All of these things helped me. Even just a hobby. It is so hard to find a place in the world at that age, especially if you feel different on the inside from everyone else. It helps to reah out to the real wotld to try and find your tribe. Even if that isn't possible, maybe encourage her to find people and hobbies that make her feel positive and important. I truly beleive that talking to a Therapist could help. It could have at my age, but my parents were afraid they would blame everything on them, or my religion. I know now, that is not true! She is a beautiful woman, make sure you tell her I said that. We are all so beautiful, and yet we can't see it. Maybe if people told us more when we were her age, we would understand the truth.

Oct 19, 2016 12:34 PM

I live in Oklahoma and I am a professional photographer I know growing up I suffered from depression as well due to the death of my father at the age of 12 I was daddy's little girl and my world shattered when he passed away but I found my true calling in photography and found true happiness and bringing out the beauty in people through photography. If you would like I will donate my time and offer you and your daughter a free session maybe having her picture taken well at least brighten her spirits for a day.you can look me up at

Oct 23, 2016 6:25 AM

Hun, you have done nothing wrong! In fact, YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!


Please listen to me hun. I'm 17, have various chronic issues, am autistic and have lots of mental health problems, ive had the mental health problems for as long as I can remember. The fact of the matter is, you have got her to talk to you. I have NEVER spoken to anyone but my closest friend and my therapist about my mental health problems and my mum knew about then but not how bad they were. For context, I am a self-harmer and I have attempted many times. The first time my mother found out was when I bleed through my clothes in my therapists office because some of my cuts had reopened. She forced me to show her and then she showed my mother.
The best thing you can do is keep her talking to you but don't push it because you'll drive her away and if you can send her to a therapist.
If you do discover tha she self-harms do not do what my mother did! My mother turned the house upside down and removed everything sharp. I couldn't self harm for a couple of weeks and I attempted because of it.
The best thing you can do is teach proper wound cleaning and give her clean instruments and dressings etc. Whilst encouraging her to stop.
If you PM me I will try to find and send you sone good resources

Gentle hugs

Oct 23, 2016 3:20 PM

TiredInPainNInsane, you are an absolute gem and I absolutely applause your willingness to put yourself out there for the sake of helping someone else. Such a selfless and loving thing to do. I just wanted to let you know that I thing you're amazing!! {{{Hugs}}}πŸ’•πŸ˜Š

Oct 24, 2016 11:05 AM

Thank you alwayz,
When my mother found out I self harmed she took everything away, it happened to lots of my friends too. Me and my friends all ended up buckling under the pressure from not being able o use our coping mechanisms and each of us attempted about 3-4 times. After that my mother thought I was better and she hasn't known that I'm a self harmer for years if she did shed probably take it all away again and I can't cope with that.
Honestly if I can help in anyway message on here or by PM and I will do everything I can for anyone in this situation. Whether you are self harming and just want some help or you are looking after or supporting someone who is. If the person you are supporting is willing to, I will even talk to them. I will do literally everythino possible to prevent people getting into and help people get out of this situation because it's not fun.

Oct 24, 2016 11:56 AM

Ouchithurts2, it's a natural thing for us as parents to want to shoulder blame as for what our children go through. But the truth is that we do the best we can and must accept that not all things are within our control. I too suffered depression at a very young age (7) due to a dysfunctional family and divorce of my parents. I found it extremely hard to fit in anywhere or make friends. I didn't really find myself until I married my hubby, who filled all the gaps and was a blessing in disguise. I see depression in my granddaughter and her stepsiblings, but my daughter ignores what I've said to her, as does her husband. What's going on with your daughter isn't your fault. Be sure to keep the doorway open to talk to you freely and without judgement, but don't press her to talk to you. Instead provide her access to professional counselors who can help her in ways you can't. Hugs love and prayers for you and your daughter! πŸ™‚πŸ’•πŸ™πŸŒΈ

Oct 27, 2016 6:03 PM

Thank you all sooooo very much for your love and support. We have talked a bit more but she will not open up completely to me. She has admitted that she was taking my dizapam and the Tramadol which is the 200mg sr (quite a few of both) I had noticed that I was going through them a bit quicker than usual!
I am sorry for my late reply to all, I've had a bad run this past week and am just getting over a very badly blocked bowel.
Hugs to all and thankyou all so very much πŸŒΌπŸ’œπŸ€—

Oct 27, 2016 8:05 PM

Ouchithurts2, your daughter will open up more to you over time when she realizes that your love for her is unconditional and that your heart and arms are always open for her when she needs you. I have suffered from depression for many years and I also have anxiety along with it. Not surprisingly they usually go hand in hand. When I was a kid I would get physically ill worrying about things and my family would just tell me I was being rediculous and didn't get it. So, I went through most of life with a lot of things bottled up. I still have things that surface from
Time to time when I'm at the end of my threshold. Amazingly, I have a BFF like nobody I've ever known in my life who does love me unconditionallly. Even though I still struggle at times, she can get me to talk it out and I am soothed by her love for me. I would go to the ends of the earth to have her back and I hope there never comes a day that she's not by my side. As your daughter grows up, I have no doubt that she will find a friend (or friends) like that as well.. mine is worth more than all the treasures in the universe. I hope she knows how amazing she is and what a gift she is to not just me but to her children and the world. Sending good karma, positive vibes and well wishes for you both to have strength and navigate through this uncharted territory. You'll get through. It'll be ok. {{Hugs}}πŸ’•πŸ˜Š

Nov 02, 2016 6:21 PM

Thank you Alwayzinpain. I really hope that she does open up more in the future. It is going to be a long, slow road we will travel, but I know we'll get through it. I just have to stay positive and strong for her. Sometimes it's very hard as my relationship with my partner is broken and he refuses to move out so I have to find somewhere else to live. I don't want to move but he is being nasty. So maybe a fresh start or me and my children is for the best.
Thank you for your kind words and advice.
Gentle hugs πŸŒΌπŸ’œπŸ€—

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community