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Feeling lost

Apr 09, 2019 10:03 PM

I've just got so much going on I feel like I'm drowning. When will it all end and I can feel normal again?

Apr 10, 2019 10:41 AM

TriniGirl, I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time. I'm not sure what all you are dealing with, since you don't have anything on your profile. But I do understand feeling overwhelmed. You can read my profile and see most of my diagnosed issues, and it's a lot. Although I've had OA and spine DDD for over 30 years I was doing pretty good. Then I started feeling sick in 2008 and left work in 2010, and it's been downhill healthwise since, when 90% of my diagnosed were found.

It's not easy to get through any day, especially when our health is affecting us so badly. And I don't think any of us will ever find ourselves back at what our "normal" use to be. Speaking for myself, I began taking it all one day at a time, one hour at a time. I use to have a very structured and planned out daily life, one activity at a time (getting my meal, getting a shower or dressed, etc), but not anymore. I struggle some days just getting out of bed, getting my shower and getting to the doctor appt I might have any given day. Like today, I woke at 3 am in severe hip and Sacral pain, and had to be at an appt at 8:30 am, so it took everything I had. My hubby texted to see if I was going to come to his appt, and I told him I needed to come home due to the the pain; every step I take causes sharp pain in the hip socket and at my tailbone. Thankfully he's very understanding and supportive. Having someone like that is important, but he wasn't always like this. It wasn't until I started having him go to appts with me and my doctors explained my issues to him that he became supportive.

Like I said I'm not sure what all you are going through, but I do understand feeling overwhelmed and chronic pain. Make a list of things you are trying to deal with and then prioritize what needs to be 1st-2nd-3rd priority etc. Then write possible ways to get through each. I've found suggestions on here from others about food changes and exercise/stretching suggestions (I'm very limited on those). Making small changes, one at a time is easiest to achieve as lifestyle changes, and some suggestions work for me while others so not. No two of us are alike so everything is not a cookie-cutter solution for everyone. Be open-minded and research other possible ways to help you achieve the best relief for you. And remember, we all have to find our own way to our new"normal" as much as normal can be for each of us. Even though my diagnosed issues have grown in number, the ways that I've learned to deal better has made it easier to get through my days... One day at a time, one hour at a time, one activity at a time, and one step at a time. Sending you hugs love and prayers for strength while you find ways to best help yourself to your new normal life! 🙂❤🙏🌼

Apr 10, 2019 4:30 PM

Hi tphere I hope you are doing good now? I had a busy day so far abs worked through my pain . Hmm it’s really annoying me . So I’m going to tell the dr about it at my follow up appointment May 2. It’s my left Siatica pain hip L4. Degenerate disc also I Have. I’ll keep you posted Hug ty again have a nice day pretty soon I’ll be have dinner my fiancé made fir us ) I’m 😆 Hug ty again )))

Apr 11, 2019 11:38 AM

Thank you both for your kind words. It's just dealing with pain and fatigue with an 8 month old and barely any help, it's a lot and I feel guilty being so limited with him. On top of all of this my benefits have stopped because they think my fibro miraculously disappeared or something. So frustrating.

Apr 11, 2019 2:17 PM

TriniGirl, I understand. Following my second child birth I suffered post partum depression, on top of my spine problems beginning. I was unable to hold her like my oldest, and had to teach her to lie across my lap to rock her (instead of on my shoulder). I also had to teach her to climb into my lap before she could even walk because I wasn't allowed to lift her. I taught her sister (4 yr older) to help her and to change her diaper for me because I wasn't suppose to bend over.

Do what you can to the best ability, and allow him to know security calm and love. Take naps with him; lay him on the bed beside you and read short stories or sing to him. Not being able to do everything won't mean you aren't a good mom. Step out on a limb and ask for help from family, friends, neighbors. Look into a day sitter for an hour or two when you can afford it, just to give yourself some time; or ask someone aged 12+ to sit with him while you do laundry, cook, take a bubble bath or get your nails done. Being a new or young mom is hard enough without thinking you aren't doing your best, so stop beating yourself up (or allowing others to). I know you are going to be a great mom ... because you are worrying about not being so! A bad mom or dad wouldn't care. Hugs love and prayers! 🙂❤🙏🌼

Apr 19, 2019 12:09 PM

Treat yourself like you would treat a friend. Allow yourself to have good days and bad days. Give yourself permission to feel the way you feel. Take a moment and breath. If your friend was telling you how they felt you would have empathy and compassion, do the same to yourself. This may be your new normal try to just be kind to yourself. You do not have to like it, but acceptance goes along way. Embrace the good times and find something good about the rough times. Remember you are stronger than you think and someone out there has it far rougher than you do. (I am in no way dismising your feelings. Please do not take it that way). Try talking to your friends we tend to isolate ourselves when we are hurting and that sends us into a bad depression. Friends and family are key. Sending you good vibes.

Apr 23, 2019 3:19 PM

Thank you both so much. I just feel clueless sometimes and even though my brain knows better, my anxieties don't so some times I need constant reassurance. I have so much going on in my life apart from my health and all I want to do is focus on my lil boy. I try so hard to ensure his basic needs are met. Maybe I need to push a lil harder to meet mine's to.

Apr 23, 2019 5:08 PM

Hi trini girl, I hope that you feel better sone day . I hope that you had a nice day today though . Btw I’m Shore hug gently if you need to chat let me know I’ll try send messasges to you . Shore🙏🌈🌈❤️🌹

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