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Feeling sick

Nov 23, 2015 2:46 PM

My sister's been getting violent lately, she's a teen now, but she's always been more aggressive. I'm getting sick of it, and she's getting sick.

She slapped my dad last night, which is terribly uncalled for, he only asked her to move a hair band. Now she's pissed because she wants to sit where I am.

I don't know what to do, she'll probably run away, and the thought of her doing something stupid makes me want to cry, I'm scared of her, not entirely sure why, at her school she has full control, but now I'm thinking that may not be a good thing. She screams and fights when I get quiet, her actions would be justified if my family was violent.

But we're not, I don't touch her, my dad uses his voice before anything else. My friends have been hit in ways my family doesn't, and I don't understand where her anger comes from.

Help!

Nov 23, 2015 2:57 PM

Honestly, I make jokes when my brother scares me. They have to be honest to good jokes. And don't make it look like ur trying, like fall on the floor, maybe use an inside joke

Nov 23, 2015 3:59 PM

Is she seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist? If not, she needs to be. Talk to your dad. It could be a mental illness, a hormone imbalance. Maybe she just needs to talk to a professional. Good luck Hun.

Nov 23, 2015 6:06 PM

Is it possible that your Sister is having some kind of psychological problems? What about medications?? (I'm not asking this to offend you in any way, please know, I'm just trying to help you figure it out). Have you found medications coming up short? Is she hanging around with new people that perhaps aren't the type of people that she should be hanging out with? Has she been taken to the doctor to have her hormones checked?? You said she's a teen now and going through puberty and being that age are difficult to say the least. I'm sure that you remember how you felt and didn't know how to deal with some of these feelings... I hope whatever is going on that between you and your family are able to help her. Sending you some {{{.

Nov 27, 2015 8:37 PM

Ferretbandit, I'm in agreement with Amie, your sister needs to be evaluated to determine what is causing her anger and aggression. It's not good to let it keep happening. It is abuse regardless, and disrespect for other people, for her to hit anyone (& vice versa). If it's not dealt with it could get much worse, and she could end up in legal trouble, psychological trouble, and/or physical trouble. Uncontrolled anger is a time bomb waiting to explode. If you can't speak to your dad, and him act on getting her help, speak to a school counselor or y'all's doctor. To stay silent is not only going to create more fear and stress for you and your family, but it could make things worse. (((Hugs))) and a prayer for your family. 🙏🌼

Nov 28, 2015 1:02 AM

I don't know, I guess I'm a bit worried because of family history, kinda hoping this will just pass.

Nov 28, 2015 8:30 AM

Feretbandit, this doesn't sound like something that's just going to pass. She had been aggressive before and now, being a teenager, slapped your Dad over something so small as moving a hair band. She may have things she needs to express and doesn't know how in words or is afraid to so she acts out physically. I agree that having full control at school may not be the best thing. Perhaps speak to her counselor at school? Is there someone or something that makes your Sister relaxed and calm? My thoughts are with you and I hope that you and your Dad (possibly with the help of either the school counselor or another one) that you will get to the bottom of this and bring some much needed peace and calm to your family. Sending love, {{{{Hugs}}}} and prayers your way.💕🙏🏻🌻

Nov 28, 2015 12:21 PM

My sister doesn't trust people much, less than me even. She's fought going to a psychologist before, and might again, I don't know. Her school's really small, very few teachers, I'm not even sure who the counselor is, because we go to different schools.

Honestly, I think my school would be better for her, but she probably hate it (at first, at least) because we have more rules, and consequences, and the students put more pressure on each other to succeed than the teachers. We also emphasize team work, while her school only has a couple other people her age, and her friends have left until it becomes a charter school.

I guess I'm also a bit sad because she was more influenced by my mom than I was, and is convinced she was abused, even though I've been around all the time. Is hard that if she's like my mom, I'll eventually have to get her out of my life because I give too many second chances, and be kind, and try to give people the benefit of the doubt. It still comes back to haunt me.

My mom is borderline, and if I were stronger maybe I wouldn't hurt so much, but I love her, and it's hard to think my sis might be similar. I mean, they always bonded, my mom claimed I just didn't seem to like spending time with her, but really my sis got the snuggles and spot light, while I was lucky to get help with math homework.

I don't entirely know why, but I'm tearing up right now. 😂😢😥

Anyway, my sis is mad at my dad for being less loud with me, but here's the thing, my sis has always been a fighter, and I've always tried to lie low and help out. It's just what I do. At mom's house, that meant I'd clean up after and feed our ferrets, or doodle or do dishes, while mom and my sis did stuff like cooking, watching TV, or cuddling on the couch.

I wish I knew someone who she totally trusted, but she's pretty convinced the world is against her. I mean, I get that puberty is hard, but it's not an excuse...

My mind is turning into mush now, thanks for giving advice.

Nov 28, 2015 12:39 PM

Oh Sweetheart, my own heart breaks for you for the pain you are feeling emotionally. I know that can take even more of a toll sometimes than physical. I know that puberty is not an excuse. I just remember how hard it was to be that age is all. I wish I had some magical words of wisdom for you but all I can offer you is my heart, {{{Hugs}}} and positive vibes to help get you through this. You're tearing up because at the end of the day, it's your sister and you love her which makes it harder even if the relationship is toxic. I know you're a strong young lady and will come through this. You've got your entire pain family here behind you. Hang in there..💕🙏🏻🌻

Nov 28, 2015 5:18 PM

F I am so sorry that you are going through this wit u our sister. My heart goes out to you, like Alwayz said this is probably not going to pass.It seems like talking to your Dr might be the best thing to do. Will keep you in my prayers sending you hugs.

Nov 28, 2015 5:20 PM

Ferretbandit, [with your sister]

Nov 29, 2015 3:21 AM

Will definitely be seeing a psychologist, she won't be happy to go. She managed to create an awkward situation today, with a family friend, and my roommate's stiff had been "disappearing" into my sister's stuff.

Dad says I should fight back, or she'll just keep pushing me around, but just the thought of hurting her makes me sick. It's coming down to me or her, as in only one of us can really be happy. I'll probably have to find distance, but I don't know how.

Have to wait and see what happens...

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