I just got told I am starting gabapentin. I am pretty much having extreme anxiety over just the thought. I know this seems like a small ordeal to most of you but for me it is a huge deal. I Do NOT handle oral medications well. I end up with ever side affect ever and exasturbated by a lot. Even my doctor said I react really bad. I have heard so many negative things about this, also next is a spinal tap and my doctor suspects my pain will significantly increase. My doctor also thinks that they will only ever be able to make my pain manageable. I am struggling with this thought I feel SO vulnerable. I am only in my mid teens and it's becoming hard to remember what living life before an of this pain was like. I have so many hopes and dreams that are slowly getting crushed by the pessimistic attitudes of my doctors and parents. I am feeling so crushed disappointed and more vulnerable than ever. I feel like I am getting used because of my pain if that makes sense but so many people have only been friends with me or "liked me in that way" because they feel ba for me. My thoughts are swirling I don't know what to do.