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feeling worthless and wide awake

Oct 21, 2015 6:21 AM

In so much pain that I can't sleep. Just seems like everything is falling apart. I use to be able to do so many things and now I'm lucky to make it out of bed. My two teenage daughters are a tremendous help but I feel like I am robbing them of their youth. They are supposed to be having fun and not taking care of their mother. I have so many things medically wrong that I can hardly keep up. Waiting on a hearing for disability and just praying it gets approved this time. Can hardly afford my meds and it has been over three years since I first applied. Just don't know what to do anymore except pray and try and leave it in Gods hands!

Oct 21, 2015 8:13 AM

Hi cris1819, I hear you loud and clear and I suggest and agree that all you can do right now is leaving to God. There is not much more we can do with this "thing". Thankfully your girls help, I feel I have no one to help even having husband and kids so that right there is a blessing. I was approved for disability after two attempts so don't give it.

Oct 21, 2015 9:50 AM

Sorry to hear you are going through such a rough spell, it is a natural thing not to want to 'burden' our loved ones but that's the very reason they stick around. I have huge guilt trips about having to rely so heavily on my wife but in reality it has bought us closer together although I have no idea why she actually stays instead of enjoying a less stressful life.
As for disability (UK perspective) the system sucks and seems to start with the premise that, regardless of our actual conditions and causes, we are lying. It can seem like a war of attrition but keep going and hopefully you will get the financial help you need.

Oct 21, 2015 9:05 PM

Cris1819, I'm shorter you're suffering so. I'm sure your children understand. My 9 to granddaughter helps me when she visits. God can and will answer prayer, but on his time schedule & his way. If we're patient there will be blessings were don't expect. Hugs, and I'm sending a prayer up for you! 🙏🌼

Oct 22, 2015 9:18 PM

Cris,
I'm a daughter from a family with chronic pain. It's literally in my blood. I get that you feel guilty, but try to realize you're doing you're doing your very best, and on some level that is all you can give. It has to be enough.
I've done my own share of feeling guilty, and I'm a teen. However, I love my parents and always know they're trying.

Oct 23, 2015 9:23 AM

Cris, Ferretbandit is so right. You can only do your best. We've all been where you are, missing our old life and finding it hard to see a little ray of sun (hope). Just focus on getting through one hour at a time, one day. Don't think too far ahead. Don't beat yourself up for what you cannot do. Instead, appreciate the moments you can do. Hugs & prayers! We're here for you! 🙏🌼

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