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Fibro and spouse

Dec 24, 2014 10:28 AM

Any helpful advice for a spouse that isn't supportive of my fibro diagnosis and inability to be maintain old pace of life. I have been coping w/ fibro for 18 yrs. My spouse has never been much support.

Dec 24, 2014 11:01 AM

It's about him, not you. Try to find one "education" for him online. Would he go to a counselor with you?

Dec 24, 2014 11:11 AM

I am sad to say he doesn't think counsellors are worth the money, especially since we don't have a lot of it. He resents the years my medical bills have cost.

Dec 24, 2014 11:20 AM

It is unfortunate when people feel that way. Would he be willing and OPEN to learning more about it? Do you have other support?

Dec 24, 2014 1:37 PM

I guess I'm one of the lucky few who has a very supportive spouse. But from the beginning I asked him to attend appointments with me, so he could help me remember what doctors were saying. He was skeptical at first, but once he realized my problems for real, when the doctors said it was important that he be a support to help my deficiencies, he's been great. He's even come to my rescue when I couldn't find the words to tell my doctors things occurring. Inclusion has been an important key.

Dec 25, 2014 4:23 AM

Remind him that what you have is real and its part of who you are and you don't have an option. A part of being married is being there for your partner through sickness and health. Although being sick isn't what he wants for you he should try and accept it. Look up the spoon theory and show that to him! The writer talks about how she explained her condition to her best friend. Let him know you don't want him to feel sorry for you, you want him to understand and appreciate! Hopefully he will take it to heart. Best of luck!

Dec 25, 2014 8:44 AM

Hope Karma works. I think everyone should walk in each others shoes for a day. Always good to learn tolerance for everything from disabilities to religions.

Dec 27, 2014 10:38 AM

Thank you for the comments of support. My greatest stresses -- inadequate health insurance and paying bills and caring for my four children. We have downsized our lives significantly to live within our means but it is never enough. I don't go to the doctor like I need because of costs. Are there any home remedies to help? My husband complains anytime I go to doctor and refuses to pay regularly making the situation worse so doctor office demands payment each visit. It makes me upset but I'm at his mercy.

Jan 23, 2015 12:13 AM

Home remedies you might want to try (if you haven't already). 1. Try taking a ginger root supplement and/or ginger tea. This is suppose to help fibro symptoms. 2. Try taking magnesium supplement. Magnesium imroves mood and helps with sleep. 3. Try yoga and/or meditation for beginners. They are both gentle on your body but still get you moving which is supposed to help with fibro pain. 4. Try an adrenal gland supplement like Drenamin. This increases your seratonin levels which helps improve mood and reduce stress hormones which are thought to increase fibro pain. 5. Take frequent hot baths with epsom salt. Nightly is best if you can manage it.

When introducing supplements start one at a time and journal your response over 30-45 days. If it helps keep doing it, if not stop and try something different. Everyone reacts differently. I know supplements can be expensive but the ones I have listed here are reasonable. You can also check out books at the library on yoga or mediation or if you have a smart phone there are some nice apps out there. Even looking online for yoga and mediation routines you can find informative websites at no cost.

Finally, if you haven't tried yet you might consider an elimination "diet". There are ones out there for fibro and the objective is to cut out your trigger foods. You eliminate most everything and then add food back in and journal your reactions. I identified numerous trigger foods for myself that help improve my overall health once I cut them out. I learned that nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) all cause an inflammatory response in the joints which is not good for fibro. I also completely eliminated my sinus headaches by eliminating mt trigger foods.

I hope some of these help you.

Jan 24, 2015 4:16 AM

Has he ever gone to the doctors with you? Or done any research on his own? I just don't understand his cruelty to you. If something happened to him, would he want you to treat him like he is treating you? Perhaps it would help , if you haven't tried already, to explain that Fibro is a true & medically recognized neurological disability. In fact, SSDI recognizes it now! You can't help what you are born with and he should support you. I can't imagine my spouse being like that...honestly, my temper would be off the charts. I'm so frustrated that I can't help you sit him down and tell him what's what. Maybe your doctor will. I will continue to try to find things that might help you.

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