Sorry for formatting or spelling mistakes... I suck at this.
Been struggling with on and off pain for some time now. They found a whole lot of white spots on my brain and said is was unspecified demyelinating disease.
I am on meds that help with the pain and help with keeping me awake despite the exhaustion. I have also been diagnosed with sleep apnea and gastroparesis. It also hard to talk about but my sex drive and function has also plummeted... like alot. I also rent to have my legs give out on me randomly.
I struggle with depression a bit more now too. This sucks... I am only in my 40s and should feel like I'm in my 80s. I push along working and keeping a strong face for my family. But I fear of how long I can keep up my work. I have to provide for them, I have to take care of them. My greatest fear is failing them. I hate this so much.
But I have to keep moving on one day at a time. My love for my family keeps me going. I have great wife who supports me 100% but inside I feel like a failure as a husband sometimes. I have to tell my self my head is lying to me and move on through the pain that will randomly hit in random places and with random intensity.
Sorry for the long post/rant.. just had to get it out. I hate this, its every day and I always worry what is in store for me the next day.