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First social outing in 3 months

Dec 04, 2015 8:30 PM

Going to my friends best family christmas party, It's been a little while since I've hung out with more than 1 or 2 people a time and I'm shaking from the anxiety of it. Taking make up much harder to do. Anyone else have social anxiety? How do you stay calm?

Dec 04, 2015 9:00 PM

Birdiebabe, I absolutely do!! I have to say that for the most part, the anxiety is so overwhelming that if it's not "important" I will usually not attend. I stay home with my dogs and ferret and snuggle and pet them. I give them their dinner and relish the peace. However, that being said, it's a family/friends Christmas Party. I have always found that the anticipation of going (worrying about what COULD or what MIGHT happen or not happen) is the culprit. Once I get where I'm going, settle in and see how happy everyone is to see me, then it's really just fine and I have a wonderful time. I am not saying that I don't have some small nervous issues or pain but I just get in conversations everyone and find that being with the people you love and they love you, it's a FAR better time going than staying home in the silence. I hope that you enjoy the party and have a wonderful time laughing and getting out of the house for the evening. Sending you positive vibes, loving support, gentle {{Hugs}} and prayers that you are really happy with the decision to go. Enjoy!!! πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Dec 04, 2015 10:56 PM

Hey Birdie Babe,
I have had social anxiety my whole life. I'm finally getting some CBT therapy to help with it. I used to cancel or bail all the time. Now I try to have a strategy before: I give myself permission to take breaks (go to the washroom and take a few deep breaths) and to not pressure myself about talking to people or helping out. I remind myself I am a "guest" and to just relax and take things as they come. Before I go, I also decide on how long I'll stay based on how I'm feeling, for example 2 hrs. This helps me feel less anxious knowing I can leave early if I want/need to. These things help me relax before the party and at the party. I still have some anxiety but I feel more in control and able to be in the moment. Hope you are able to do so too. Good luck!

Dec 05, 2015 2:19 AM

Me: Anyways I think I'm going to head home now
Zach: oh how come?
Me: well I've been out for a little over an hour now and...well...that's really my only reason...
Actual conversation with my besties brother tonight, I hadn't actually meant to say my thought out loud πŸ˜…

I always habe this fear that no one really wants me there or that im annoying or slowing people down. I come from a pretty sheltered back ground with education from homeschooling and christian school so there are a lot of jokes that go right over my head or a lack of understanding/knowledge towards several things which has proved rather embarrassing on several occasions.
Her two younger siblings shouted my name really excited and ran to hug me when I first got there so that definitely really helped me feel better about it. I'm so thankful for "my Jessica" as I call her. She's been my bestie for the past year and a half and has been the most understanding and helpful towards my various issues whether it's Fibro, anxiety, depression ect. She puts up with my OCD and my PTSD. I'd be insane without her.
I managed to stay just under 2 hours before I caught up with me, as soon as people start cracking the drinks open faster or others start showing up I don't stick around long

Dec 05, 2015 3:17 AM

I am so very glad that you went and that you have such a wonderful friend in your bestie, Jessica!! See, people were happy to see you. The good thing is that you went. It doesn't matter how long you stayed or didn't stay. I hope that when you were there that you had a good time. I hope that you have a restful night's sleep (as you can see, in still up), and wake to a peaceful and less painful Saturday. Sending you {{{Hugs}}}πŸŒ»πŸ™πŸ»

Dec 05, 2015 12:30 PM

Congrats Birdiebabe! Glad you did it on your own terms and were able to enjoy it.

Dec 07, 2015 10:58 AM

I'm so glad you weren't and enjoyed it! I also have stressed over outings. Due to childhood fears, I always imagine someone is looking at me or talking about me, judging. I've never outgrown it and am actually very shy, preferring to avoid outings. I make my hubby stay right by my side. It's sad that I have never gotten out of it. New places, new surroundings, and new faces, they bring back the fear. Maybe it has something to do with changing schools at least 2-3x each school year until 7th grade. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Dec 07, 2015 1:37 PM

Thanks everyone :) I had to go to another one last night so I really mentally prepared myself for the last week to go, decided to partake in the drinking of alcohol to help and ended up having a really good time. I made sure that bestie stuck with me though haha the social anxiety ducks when you want to go the bathroom or order a drink

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