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Focusing on thr good...My vacation..

Feb 21, 2016 11:39 AM

So I'm deciding to refocus I've had a rollercoaster of a week like most of us. And with all that has happened I've not had a chance to mention my vacation with my boyfriend. Some of you guys have already head of it.
So my baby love of a boyfriend decided that me being gone over a year and the last time he saw me was at my last surgery 7 months ago was to long. So he set up a few day for us to reconnect. I did drive the three hours to meet him once I arrived we had lunch and wrn to the hospital. It was lovely place very relaxing. I even won comdey club tickets once I arrived but sadly I was nkt able.to attend. He was very attentive as he most times is. Since I was hurting pretty badly by that first evening we decided to just stay in so we ordered in or he went to get the meals all my favorites. We did go out once and of course nthr elevator broke and inhad to walk up three flights. As u can imagine that was painful. By the time check out time came I was wishing for another three days. I was catered to meals brought to me. And meals I did not cook. Lol wonderful. It was great to get out of my environment and enjoy some.real me / us time.

Feb 21, 2016 1:25 PM

Newfibrogirl, I'm glad you were able to enjoy your vacation. Maybe it won't be another 7 months before you can do so again. 🙂💕🙏🌼

Feb 21, 2016 7:49 PM

Newfibrogirl, I am really happy for you. You are always making meals for your family and doing what you can. It is nice that you were able to leave the house and get a good distance away. I am so very happy for you. I hope that you had a great time. It sounds like you did minus the pains. Don't you wish we had get out of pain card. Like you can accumulate them like vacation days. So whenever you really want to do something, you could use your get out of pain card on those few days pain free. I know that sounds crazy but it would be so nice. You could plan a vacation and do all that you want without fear of pain. I am just being silly now and it is not even late. But I am happy you got of town and that you were able to reconnect with your boyfriend. How long have you been seeing your boyfriend? Just curious if you have been seeing each other for a long time, like a long relationship. I am not trying to be too personal. Just interested in knowing you better. I hope it has been a long relationship. Dealing with chronic pain. It has hard for ones to have long relationships if they are new. I hope your happiness continues and he takes you out of town again soon. Best wishes to you Newfibrogirl. I am truly happy for you.

Feb 21, 2016 7:56 PM

Thanks profiler. Yes I did have a great time. I've been with my.boyfriend for seven years. It's been a crazy ride but we s stick it out. I've been gone for over a year. Which means thsts when I moved home with my parents. And the last time we saw each other was seven months ago at my last surgery. It would be wonderful to have a get out of pain card. I feel I would use my point to often. Since knowing I have the abit to be pain free would be to tempting to resist. But it would be lovely to be able to plan a day or trip and be able to enjoy it pain free. I hope I can get another trip too. It's Wonderful to have rest from day to day life.

Feb 21, 2016 8:15 PM

I am happy that you have had a seven year relationship. How are you able to keep things going being so far away. Do you talk a few times a week. Does he have a job that he can't get away to come and see you? I know I ask a lot of questions. Just getting to know you. What do you like about him most?

Feb 21, 2016 8:21 PM

Well.I've not done anything special. Just stayed as Independent as possible and allowed our relationship to grow as GOD saw fit. Certainly I've done a lot things wrong I'm sure but we seem to be making it. He does work and we don't believe in living together before marriage. He as children from another relationship so we try to be as stable as possible. Plus with my.parents being ill ID be here most of my time. We talk several times a week randomly saying hi and what not. Social media video calls ect. We do what we have to to make it work.
How about you? What do you think is the most important thing to domor have when in a relationship with some who has chronic pain or Illness?

Feb 21, 2016 8:40 PM

Well, I think it sounds like you found your prince when it comes to he way that he treats you. So just making sure he has a deep sense of empathy I think is important. And compassion, Because if they do not have that, they will grow to resent you. But on our part, the only way that we make our relationships work is by recognizing that they will be caregivers. they will always be doing more for us then we will do for them. They will always see our weaknesses which will always give us more attention. Even if we get negative attention, they well not get attention. Just imagine what it will be like for them all the time when someone does not say hi to them or ask them how they are doing but they quickly because they know that you deal with chronic pain will ask him how you are doing bypass him completely. He will do that gladly because he loves you. But we need to recognize that and give them special romantic attention. The type of attention that we can give. We may not be able to at some point or times to meet half way sexually but we can always have intamacy.

But again we need to recognize him as a caregiver when he ever becomes a husband. You have to make sure that he have breaks from caregiving at times. My wife, at times, she had to really help me a lot and I could tell it was taking a lot out of her. I knew what she needed from me. She had been inside of the house for a couple of months and I had robbed her life. I informed her she needed a life. I told her to find a friend and I gave her some money and take them out for a lunch or a dinner away from me. Of course I could have gone and it would have been work but she needed to be away from caregiving and needed a break. So I got her movie tickets at times and find a friend to go with her. My wife is not good about making friends. So I try to match her up with people I know she will like. I try to do what I can do for her.which is nothing but I offer. I offer to rub her feet, massage her scalp, She doesn't like to be touched like that. Most people do. But she doesn't. So you just need to look out for them and their mental health. I hope you see what I am saying

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