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Frustrated

Oct 04, 2015 9:16 PM

Just learned my DDD, stenosis and herniations continue up to my cervical area. Had fusion in lower back in March and pain is only worsening. I'm only 38 and can't do much. What will I be like at 50? I want to cry

Oct 04, 2015 9:36 PM

Chico, I'm so sorry for your pain and frustrations! My only hope is that you don't get too caught up in what life could be like for you a decade from now. You don't know what the future holds, and as long as you're here you have worth and a purpose. I pray you're able to find a purpose through the pain (I know I struggle with this daily). But you are more than your pan and more than any job you can or cannot do. Sending you gentle hugs and you're in my prayers.

Oct 04, 2015 9:39 PM

Chico, I hear you loud and clear. I am 50 and had to stop working when I was 37 because of the pain and lack of mobility. I have DJD, DDD, Cervical Spondalytic Myelopathy, Scoliosis, Lordosis, several herniated discs from my cervical spine all the way down to my lumbar spine. SI Joint Disfunction with fractures, Grave's Disease, hypothyroidism, anxiety, depression, etc. etc. etc... Ugh!! Well enough about me, I'm not here to bore you. I am, however, here to welcome you to our community family and to let you know that you are not alone and we all understand. We are here for different diagnosis but we all share the commonality of chronic, irretractable pain. This is a safe, no judgement zone. It doesn't matter if you need to vent, cry, ask questions or simply each out for someone to keep you company. There is always someone here to come running to the rescue when you need help. I am but a keystroke away along with the rest of this wonderful group of people. This app has been a Godsend for me and I pray that it is the same for you. I hope you find the support and understanding you need being here with us. I wish you all the best, sending you gentle {{{Hugs}}} to get you through and my prayers for a good night's rest and a more peaceful day tomorrow with less pain. 🌻🙏🏻

Oct 04, 2015 9:42 PM

Thanks kitty and alwayz. I just recently learned of the continuation into my cervical area, just still partly in shock mode and processing it all. My pain doctor is doing injections farther up now, injections 3 out of 4 weeks this month. Also being referred to neurosurgeon. Just hard to process yet

Oct 04, 2015 9:45 PM

I understand that totally. Every time I get a new diagnosis, it is heart wrenching and difficult to wrap my head around. That is when it is even more beneficial to come here and chat with us. Hang in there. If there's anything I can do, just holler and I'll come running!! 🙏🏻🌻

Oct 04, 2015 9:47 PM

I'm afraid of more surgery. My two in March, I had no help recovering, even though I have family less than an hour away. My sister is even in the medical field. Hard facing all of this totally alone

Oct 04, 2015 9:54 PM

It sure is... Just remember that you are NEVER alone. You have a lifeline to reach out to with us. Perhaps you could have a conversation with your family and explain that you are scared and lonely and need their support. Sometimes it just takes being open and honest about your needs. Try not to be discouraged if they don't get it. It's hard to imagine the kind of pain we suffer if they have never dealt with it themselves. Just know, as you can see by our chat, I will be here for you and so will the rest of the group. 🌻🙏🏻

Oct 04, 2015 10:03 PM

Thanks Alwayz. I guess it's that I've burned bridges with past emotional and psychological problems of mine. But if it was turned the other way, I would be there for them. Has helped me realize that i can be stronger than I thought I could be. my saviours are my two cats that cuddle and love me. As long as they need me, I have a purpose for my low times. (That may seem flimsy, but at my worst time it keeps me going)

Oct 04, 2015 10:08 PM

It doesn't seem flimsy at all. I think that is a wonderful thing. Animals give us unconditional love and affection and are the one constant and guaranteed support we have on a daily basis. I myself have 2 dogs and a ferret. I had to move back home to live with my aging parents because I can't work any more. It's never easy but it can be done. That is why I say that with the support of this community, you are never alone.

Oct 04, 2015 11:37 PM

Chico, I'm so sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. It's hard to be young and fear what the future may hold. But life can change, the pendulum can swing the other way.

I'm 53 now and unable to work. I last worked in 2010, but went out for surgery, 5 in 1. Medical problems keep adding up, but I refuse to give on to despair, I refuse to not enjoy life when I can. I had 2 neck surgeries by 1995, and now the rest of my neck is collapsing, but there's nothing the docs can do for fear of paralyzing me. I've had thoracic and lumbosacral disc issues all my life, and so far I've been able to avoid surgery. I try to stay mobile as much as possible, even walking a treadmill and using 2lb weights and stretch bands. Then on days like today I just rest. After my surgery in '95 I was weak. The doc told me not to do anything and I just kept getting weaker. I revised one day I would start slow and light, and over time I reclaimed my strength and endurance. I graduated college at 42 and worked 7 years. Then 2010 brought me to where I am now. I use a cane or walker or cart as needed. I enjoy my dog and grandchildren. I try to stay positive.

When you're feeling down just come on here. We're here to chat. Try not to worry about what you'll be like in your 40-50-60's. Just enjoy whatever you can when you can. And no bridge has ever been burned that can't be rebuilt with time and effort. (((Hugs))) and a prayer you'll find a peaceful night's sleep! 🙏🌼

Oct 05, 2015 5:30 AM

I've had a decent nights sleep, only waking about 5 times. (2 times due to the one kitty sleeping on my foot lol). I try not to get discouraged, but having a tougher time right now. It was suggested by my pain doctor I seek out a therapist, and I have an appointment this morning actually. I'm just not looking forward to a lifetime of narcotic pain meds, as addiction runs rampant in my family. I was hoping for the spinal cord stimulator, but told I wasn't a good candidate because my stenosis is quite severe. Appointment with pain management tomorrow, so shall talk with him more.

Oct 07, 2015 6:52 PM

Chico1977 I am new to this group but have had fibro, neuropathy, osteo, DDD etc and I can tell you having a level 3 neck surgery was one of the best things that helped me so much im also getting ready to have my back done wit disc replacements 2 rods more plates and screws but I trust my neurosurgeon completely he has a great connection with his patients hes awesome im not looking forward to the surgery but the oitcome im trusting God for. As far as the burnt bridges the good thing is it may take time but bridges can be rebuilt. I know because our son we had to finaly have tough love and turn him away it has been a slow process but he is proving he can be respected and trusted again after years of hurting people and using them. Our daughter died May 14, she suffered tremendously when my body is hurting i think of my beautiful daughter who knew the true meaning of suffering and i find strength to press on. God Bless you and dont give up on rebuilding those bridges just let your actions be your voice except for appologies that need to be made guard your tone and looks bc body language reveals the inner heart. will be praying for peace and family restoration along with help finding a great neurosurgeon

Oct 07, 2015 9:24 PM

Chico, I've been offline a few days. I hope your appointment went well. I'm under a therapist too. It's helping with dealing with everything. I would love to have surgery to remove a bone spur from my left knee, repair damaged neck and thoracic and lumbosacral discs. But my health has deteriorated to the point doctors are refusing to even discuss it. They say my recovery would take too long. And sadly I get weaker as they refuse to help improve my mobility. But I refuse to let it defeat me emotionally or spiritually. I hope and pray you are doing better. 🙏🌼

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