I sometimes wonder why I have to go through this, like why do I have to fight my parents on getting a doctors appointment?, why do I have to medicate myself constantly? Why was my childhood spent in pain or on crutches? But then I remember everyone has hardships that the people they know don’t know about. I know that ableist/ muggles will never understand the true issues that we face with chronic illnesses which is heartbreaking and frustrating. I remember that the girl on the left Is not who I am and when my illnesses pull me down it’s important to get right Back up and continue on with my life.No one told me when I was 7 crps would change my life. No one said it would cause breakdowns or pull me in different directions. I’ve climbed so many mountains and it still feels like no one understands or knows the pain I go through. I know most of you understand but it’s still hard because no one in my life has chronic illnesses that are similar to mine. I have so many unanswered questions about my health things I know that are not normal that are occurring. I feel like I’m in this never ending battle with my own body. I’m sure many of you can relate to this frustration with in me. I know you need to move to keep your mobility but it hurts so much to move And I’m not getting better I feel so weak and exhausted from pain.
I told my stepdad my mom dosent care because it dosent feel like she does sometimes I know that she does it’s just she waited 6 months and then I had to go to the hospital to get pain meds then they give me ketamine and send me home it hurts to move but they go to work and leave me here alone where I have to take care of the animals. No one understands people try to but most people don’t have to live at a pain level of a 7 everyday paired with neausa and ton of other symptoms that I don’t even mention because what’s the point? I always pretend I’m fine because I hate it when people feel bad for me but at the same time it’s frustrating seeing people not have to go through all the stuff I have to deal with