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Frustration

Jan 17, 2016 11:40 PM

Something I wrote...**warning, contains language some may find offensive or triggering**
It's there really anywhere left for me too go
To vent
Anonymous in my angst
Fears and frustrations holding back tears
Down salty cheeks of bitten back fears
I'm so tired
Only people I can talk to are those I love most
But it hurts
I'm sickened
This terror is a lethal dose of a blood thirsty dagger
Dragging pills across my mind
This poison
It isn't mine
I have no antidote
No heart lit by fire
All I desire is a short little break
Take my breath away
Back me
I don't give a fuck
About life anymore
Fuck this
Fuck that
Take me into your closet
Curl your teeth in my hair
Make my pain your own
I'll do anything
Everything to feel
Just catch me before my bones break down
Dominoes beneath my feet
Spread along the floor
I want to fight
I want to live
I want to exist
But sweetheart sometimes enough isn't enough
Forced separation
A sheet of paper doesn't define love
But it lives to define me
Diagnosis by damn catastrophe
Feel my
Heat my beating heart
Over the flames built by twigs
You found them laying over my grave and remembered
Memories long gone
Like me
Bonfires by bridges
The babysitter saint britches
Books about talking badgers
Churches of ours
Lies we believed
Barriers gone unseen
The boards on our windows we never bothered to fix
Dead drain pipes
Leaky water flooding out the bedroom
Late night waltzes
Accordion delight
Walking around town with the weight off our shoulders
Strangers caring my weight through life
All the shit I knew
Sitting next to you as you bang your head
Your punching bag, the pew
We knew better than
What we now know
The stories we always tell
They never get old
Like ants we are never seen aging
Except by the stats glowing bright and fierce
Light piercing through
The sounds of our skins we know by ear
Lip to lip
There's no one else here
I'm done.

Jan 18, 2016 1:52 AM

Ferritbandit, I liked your poem very much. Some things I can really relate to if I am understand it what you are writing. I thought some of your poem was talking about the pain you are in. You said something in the that I say in prayers to God about. Sometimes I would pray to God after having days of intense pain and I would beg him for a break of my pain if only for twenty minutes. I just needed a break. But I related to a lot of your poem and I appreciated. I hope I am not ruining it by not interpreting it right. Take care my friend. I hope you get some relief soon especially from panic attacks.

Jan 18, 2016 3:02 AM

All writing is open to interpretation, that is part of why I write. Thanks!

Jan 18, 2016 9:46 AM

Ferret, you have real talent! Keep posting :)

Jan 18, 2016 5:12 PM

Raw, heartfelt, expression, from a beautiful young lady! You speak volumes in your writing. It reminded me of back when I was a young girl growing up, and I can relate. πŸ™‚πŸ™πŸŒΌπŸ’•

Jan 18, 2016 10:51 PM

Feretbandit you write with such raw, unadulterated emotion. Laying it all out there for all to see. You have written much that I can sure relate to. It amazes me how wise and mature you're writings are. You're talented and wise beyond your years. I know you're a strong young lady and you do certainly inspire me with your writings, your strength and your determination. Hang in there, my friend. Thanks so much for sharing this powerful poem with all of us. {{Hugs}} πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»πŸ˜Š

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