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Feb 12, 2018 7:47 AM

Yesterday was my first day in a long time that I just broke. One of those, heck with it, I am done with doctors with the stress of it all, with waking up and not being able to pour a cup of coffee on my own or not feeling pain when my husband hugged me. Wasn't the best of days and I took it out on everyone around me. Sooo not like me. I internalize and try to be optimistic and push through every day. Now there is the guilt, and I HATE guilt because obviously if I am feeling it, I have done something by that hurt someone else. Today will be a long hard physical day and I am dreading it because I know I will pay for it...not helping the optimistic view. How do you do it? How do you push through every day and not, sometimes just out of frustration break because it's inside you and only you... not others burdens to bear but alone in the pain?

Feb 12, 2018 8:17 AM

You are not alone. I'm almost certain that at one time or another every single one of us in this community has reached our breaking point. I think it's completely normal that when we are under the amount of stress and pain that we all are, that we will break down occasionally.

Feb 12, 2018 8:24 AM

Thank you. I hate whining...at least when I am the one doing it. So I realize part of what built up, caused me to just snap, was lack of communication. I don't want to complain or ask for help...so then when the people around me don't see it, it adds to my frustration. And, stupid pride, I have prided myself for not burdening others with this. So I try and "fix" everything on my own and it gets to me. It's just that normally, I handle it. I just didn't this time. The pain and frustration and just feeling crappy got the best of me...goodbye Tigger hello Eeyore.

Feb 13, 2018 8:26 PM

We have all been there. Come to us and just bitch if you need to. You have to get it out or it will just eat you and get worse. Again, we have all been there. As far as pride it sucks but you have to push it away sometimes. We got you.

Feb 14, 2018 3:09 PM

I think it is the breaking every now and then that makes us stronger. Have you ever noticed that once you have broken and you cried or you became mad at the life you are living at the moment, A little time will pass and a sense of clarity will come over us. We will realize we are not alone in the world. It is not just us being persecuted. And that break gives us time to regroup.

Mayo offers suggestion, when the pain gets to be to much and last to long without a break. Learn Guided Imagery. It is basically biofeedback. It has helped me make my body go numb when the pain gets to be too much. My best wishes to you.

Feb 15, 2018 5:04 AM

I can relate with the frustration part. It's difficult not to be. But I try to remind myself everyone is here to help.

How do I push through? No choice, I just do it. Some days I feel like I can't and I'm dizzy and others I'm feeling well.

It's nice to have a place to talk about it but I hate that others suffer, even worse than myself. Breaks my heart.

Feb 15, 2018 8:17 AM

Just know you are not alone. In the worst moments my sciatica has immobilized me to where I’m looking for a minute change of position that will bring the pain level down to a 6-7!
You’ll get through it somehow. Here’s to better days ahead-they’ll be there for you.
Bob M.

Feb 15, 2018 6:28 PM

I hear your anguish! We all feel the way you do many times. It’s frustrating dealing with your pain day in and day out. Sometimes it’s totally overwhelming and you break down . It’s good to let go of all your frustration.?crying helps or talking about it with someone who understands your pain. Don’t feel guilty move thru it and give yourself a gentle hug/love and start all over again knowing you are human and you are loved. ❤️

Feb 17, 2018 1:56 PM

I hear you and feel your pain too hang in there

Feb 17, 2018 4:19 PM

We all have been there or we are every time an outbreak comes. Keeping it to yourself can harm you more, somehow you need to get it out like with this community. If you feel is getting too much maybe speaking to a psychologist is not a bad idea. We are superheroes but doesn't mean we need to suffer extra.

How do I do it? I have no choice, unfortunately I have not a comfortable life and I need to push myself. I think we all push ourselves for something or someone. And I'm sure you do it too. Soft hugs

Feb 18, 2018 4:05 PM

Tomanyoats, if your husband is anything like mine is.. if your breaking point pull him to the side tell him and let it out ! We are all human and we all have our breaking points. Sometimes when I don't want to show my weakness I lock myself up in room and cry and listen to my music and the same thing happens when I'm at my breaking point when I don't want my husband to see me, I do the same thing I hibernate in my room and listen to music.

Feb 20, 2018 8:25 AM

Hi toomanyoars, I'm so glad I found everyone here. I felt exactly how you spoke of yesterday. The only thing that, at least puts a dent in feeling that way is I use to work in physical therapy & will always remember my patients who I hope to God I will never suffer like. You didn't whine, you said how you feel & that takes a very strong person. I hope you feel better today

Feb 20, 2018 8:30 AM

I forgot to say one more thing. I got a 'snoogle' C shaped body pillow last week. They are on amazon.com. I use it alot to just wrap around me on the couch. It's like a giant soft hug wrapped around me & I need that every day. You might want to try it too.

Feb 20, 2018 2:10 PM

One more thing I forgot to tell you. Have you heard of Cranial Sacral system? At home you can do the cranial using the cranial cradle. It will come with instructions but basically you lie the back of your head on a foamy cradle. It drains fluids from your head and puts fresh fluid back in. Hope I'm not explaining this wrong to you. It's also calming before you go to sleep. Thete's a book I have that shows you how & why to do this by Daniel Augustoni called 'Harmonizing your Craniosacral System' lots of pics to show self treatments (I'm very visual. I don't want to be a headache so I'll day no more! Blessings

Feb 21, 2018 8:07 AM

Thank you! I will check all of that out.

Feb 22, 2018 11:15 AM

Hi again oars,
Just rechecking my instructions , please disregard my previous ' idea' just trying to help you, says NOT to use if you have a headache. So sorry for giving you misinformation. Do have a great day tho & I hope that nasty headache is gone by now. ( the headache hat really does work tho)

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