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Grief and your pain

Sep 25, 2016 7:03 AM

Getting my diagnosis of fibromyalgia has had me going through all kinds of emotions. Mostly I'm grieving about the life I could have had and the one I had before my symptoms started. I can't do things my family members can do and when I try to I pay for it.
Has anyone else been going through this grieving process since your diagnosis? Right now I'm angry about it. Can you relate.

Sep 25, 2016 7:35 AM

Yes, totally. It sucks and is quite frustrating for people to understand .. I have chronic back from a back injury and fibromyalgia now .. still awaiting the specialist agreement but it is what it is. I have a lovely dash of PTSD and anxiety and liberally sprinkled with depression ... In saying that I honestly believe if my disability was approved after 2 years and I was able to regain my own space some of that would be resolved.
It has been a daily struggle with feeling failure because you just can't do everything ... Learning your limits and pacing followed by a dose of selfcare is important... Rant and vent here in this safe and understanding community ... There are great suggestions to simply improve your daily living by the members here.
And yes I get angry often ... Unfortunately I cry when frustrated and angry ... I try to relax through the stress as best I can .
Take care of yourself ...

Sep 25, 2016 8:02 AM

Ctsego, yes, for sure. I think we ALL go through a sort of mourning process and there's slot of denial, anger and sadness. Just remember that you CAN have a good life filled with joy and happiness with chronic pain. One must put their mind to it. It's all about acceptance, balance and listening to your body as to when you need to take breaks and when you can do the things that you love. You've come to the right place. Once you run across lunatics like me, you'll be laughing in no time and feeling much better. It's like being in the land of misfit toys.. we all have our issues but we're all ok just the way we are. Hang in there Hon, we'll all be here to help you through. {{{Hugs}}} πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»πŸ˜Š

Sep 25, 2016 8:15 AM

Hi! I can relate exactly how you feel. I work everyday to accept that my life is different. Unfortunately, I also battle depression and anxiety; therefore I battle with my mind daily. I somehow survived a suicide attempt, last December, and was convinced that I was still here for a reason, considering that I survived. I was in the hospital for a couple of weeks, spent court mandated time in the psyche ward, and once released was court ordered to see a case worker.
I approached "still being here" with a newfound feeling of rebirth. I am not a religious person. The feelings that I felt were ones of having been released from the pain and demons I had carried with me all my life. I went to work to learn new coping skills, and then I got sick. After numerous trips to doctors, the hospital, tests, and months of living in pain and fatigue, I finally was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I also have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and feel like a sloth.
I have always been an active person, high energy, never napped unless I was ill and forced to lay down, and was on the go all the time. Now I can't! It sucks!!!! I couldn't believe that I had survived a near fatal suicide attempt, only to be sentenced to life with a chronic illness. I felt robbed of who I was and that life really was unfair. Trust me, I don't want to live like this! I battle with my mind daily, and I struggle to get through each new day. However, I have a strong support team to turn to, I am able to use the coping skills that I have learned, and continue to practice daily, and I seek out everything I can find to educate myself about this condition that I have.
I hope that you are able to find a way to accept your new way of existing, and remember, you're not alone. I'm not sure that I'll ever be "okay" with this, but I am at least trying. I have two daughters that I fight to stay around for. Take care, and I wish you the peace of mind that you will need to face each day of your life. This app and support community are one of the many things I turn to for support. I am so glad you're here!

Sep 25, 2016 8:38 AM

Yes but I am trying very hard to look outside this box... There's still life not as quality as we had but u need try stay positive.. Like my big thing is doing my art, when I started getting sick my nerves we're bad my hands shook I could not use my paint pens I ruined pics from shaking.. I had not touched my art in 7 months... It made me more sad then anything cuz I use to turn on my tunes, and sit for hours I mean up to 6 or more at time doing detail pics.. I'd loose myself, my Tree come out ask me If I'd eaten or stopped to potty most times I had not I just goooo.. I started doing them again last month, I keep my station set up so I can see it this is partly cruel cuz when I can't do it I long for it but I think that's what keeps me going, I want to so badly so eventually I'm like I'm not too bad maybe a little while.. On days I'm super bad I might try n do some thing easy less detailed cuz it's still art but I push cuz some times u have to.. It's real easy to Kay in a misery bubble for weeks days if u are in our situations, but some times just gotta break free.. I also enjoy taking pics of our baby's and my lanardin that gets me up every day to see my Gramms hello from, above when her Morning glory's bloom and I have several Orchids of which ones waiting to pop I thought FIR sure I'd have 6 flowers this week but nope lol still waiting.. So I guess for me my point is I try take it not just day by day but HOUR BY HOUR and a step at a time I know some days r little better then others some days are super bad but keep ur head up n just keep swimming just keep swimming is motto I live by <3 hugz

Sep 25, 2016 8:56 AM

One thing I had to do once I accepted my limitations I sat down and made a list of the things I could do. It helped me focus on the fact that I can still have a wonderful life.. Just a different one than I had planned.

Sep 25, 2016 9:07 AM

Lists are everything for me I also have a memory condition so each day I write in a note pad what I wanna accomplish, I mark as I go I try not to put stuff I cannot do alone I make a list for my TREE to help with we tag team chores like dishes I unload he loads bloom he does laundry I try keep up on sweeping front house... But for me on my lust I do things like fold my clothes put away, clean baby's dishes n cage, little things organize my doctors for week so I know who what where n when... Lists are every thing it I'd be list some where with BALOI in jungle talking about the BEAR BECESSITYS lol

Sep 26, 2016 9:19 PM

Grieving our list health and old lifestyles is very hard to get through. And it's very important to survive and go forward with the best possible life we can. From the time I got sick until I accepted it all took me 7 years. And I still find myself fighting anger and depression from time to time. It helps me to focus on my blessings, what I do have and can do interest of what I've lost.

Sep 26, 2016 9:22 PM

I hear you. I try and keep up with my nephew, whom is 7......they just left on sunday and i am paying for it big time. I hate that i cant do things like i used to. My mom also has fibromyalgia, but not to the extent that i do. And then she says , you are getting like a friend of mine that cant walk anymore. I wish she would just be thankful for what i can do

Sep 26, 2016 11:02 PM

I agree with Mimikay concentrate on what you can do in your life. Don't allow your Disability to rob you of the Joy that's in your life. There will be those days when it will appear to win...brush it off as a bad day and refocus on the good that is in your life. Sometimes when you are at your worse it helps to do something for someone else. Whether it's a phone call or a kind deed. It takes any negative emotions your feeling at the time about yourself and refocuses positive feelings on others. What you are feeling right now is normal. Anyone here can relate to those feelings we all go through them . You don't have to go through it alone.πŸ’—

Sep 27, 2016 6:42 AM

I used to be a very active person and still try to be despite the pain. I do a lot of volunteer work for the school band working concessions and doing all the other fund raisers, I pay for it when I get home from working the concession stand. I have to remind myself I am not the old person I used to be.

Sep 27, 2016 2:07 PM

I can relate too !!
I got rheumatoid arthritis at 26 years of age.. i was a very activ girl.. till it hit me.. slowly slowly it cost me a lot of limitations in my life ... now im unable to do many many things i used to do ... i battle depression n anxiety too.. firstly cuz i ws diagnosed wd r.a n secondly due to my undeservd divorce .. i ws married for 6 months only.... that man made r.a one of the reasons to leave me😦
Life is full of disappointments .. but im a fighter.. wd my frnds n family's support i now am working as a pharmacist in a hospital.. i get really tired and bear a lot of pain but to stay at home n mourn is evn worse...
I still get annoyd by the fact tht why me ! Why i got this disease why my marriage broke why am i unable to do so many things i used to do... why cant i be NORMAL 😟 it hurts depresses but v hav to fight life is a battle πŸ‘

Sep 27, 2016 3:11 PM

95% of the time when the persistent black depression tries to take over, I can help my soul by making a gratitude list in my head. If I am really down & cranky I write out ten things in my life I am grateful for. Once in the shower I followed back in time to all the folks who made my bar of soap happen. Pretty soon I started snickering as I would add people in like truck drivers & store night stockersπŸ˜‚ there are hundreds of thousands of things one does not consider

Sep 27, 2016 3:15 PM

Oops hit wrong button! .... Consider that add so much to our lives in delve loped countries like ours. I am so grateful to live here even when the pain is unbearable. The other 5% of time I won't go into. Treat yourself gently, so many people love youπŸ’–

Sep 27, 2016 5:00 PM

Omg silvrry, I also make my gratitude list to help, but the soap thing is pure genius ... Thanks for smile and another tool to add to the box.🌟🌟🌟

Sep 27, 2016 5:08 PM

Silvrrry, lol thanks for the gratitude... I used to work as a night stocker at a Walmart family market before I had to give it up. I loved the people I worked with and I loved my job but my Aunt's health took a decline and so did my body with all those heavy canned foods as that is the isle I had of course! But in all seriousness if I could go back and do the same work with the same people i would but my body say's nope not happening! 😜

Sep 27, 2016 11:08 PM

Sjogrenspain77, that is too funny!! Who knew you would see & appreciate my mental gratitude! It tells me I am compass on where I should be. Thanks so much for sharing that😊

Oct 11, 2016 2:01 PM

Past few weeks I been battling myself, some one on another site I'm on mentioned how pretty I looked in my profile pic and that they loved my hair... I bawled, it hurts deep cuz I don't know that girl any more, I don't see her when I look in mirror.. That pic was taken about 10 months ago it's same pic I have up on here... I use to feel beautiful and full of life now little by little this disease taken parts of my identity, I lost 4 piercings and my gages and have not been able to do my hair.. Today we got my car legal back running FIR doctors appt, what little I had left I bought developer that's all I needed I had bleach n colors so ATM this pic is my current situation I'm hurting but am determined to pull off some awesome Halloween hair... My mission by 5 then I start prep for my procedure I be down out a few days.. Sending u all hugs

Oct 11, 2016 2:10 PM

Silvrrry, Anytime!πŸ˜‰πŸ˜Š Sorry it took so long to get back and respond. Brain fog I guess lol!😣

Oct 11, 2016 3:35 PM

I don't recognize myself anymore after ten years of Hashimoto's and I've grieved many things I can no longer do. But the cruelest thing thyroid disease has done to me is take away my voice. I can't sing anymore and that was something I did every day

Oct 11, 2016 4:19 PM

@Chibi I'm very sorry, I understand... Hugs ur face <3 I love that picture there so wonderfully stated...

Oct 11, 2016 5:05 PM

I keep that pic to remind me how far I've come back from the depths of depression πŸ€—

Oct 11, 2016 7:40 PM

Oh Chibi, I am so sorry you lost your voice. That had to be beyond sorrow for you. Yes, I know what you mean about the demons. I hug you gently. πŸ’–

Oct 11, 2016 8:42 PM

It's only been this last year I can't sing so it's still a new grief ty ❀️

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